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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

I think I'm just gonna need to take a breather for the rest of the week emotionally. Idk what I'm gonna do but... my emotions feel odd and I'm just sitting here.

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

I have been emotionally on 100 for at least a week. I had a shutdown the night before the hurricane and right now I'm just sluggish through it. The heat isn't helping

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

My week was something else too like I went from meeting up with my friend after weeks, running through a thunderstorm to rescue a 2-day-old kitten that was abandoned, to having to plan for a tropical depression, no — tropical storm, no — a hurricane — wait it reach Cat 5 already wtf

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

It's kinda funny that I turned 30 and then 3 weeks later I had to experience this like YUP okay!

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

I'll be fine, I'm going through whatever motion this is actually.

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

For what it's worth, I am trying to be happier, but sometimes when you try it feels like... an attempt that's not a completely sincere one. Like I can't tell you I feel happy... I haven't felt happy in over a week at this point. I've been going through grades of contentment and pride but happiness?

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

Also I haven't been sleeping well particularly because of the heat. So that too.

I'm sure I'll be fine later this week, maybe I do need to fully disconnect for a few hours. But mmm I'm tired. That's all I can say is that I'm tired.

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

Truthfully though.... I think my mental state is just a reflection of... a lot of my mental and physical exhaustion from prep, all of the stress of the anticipation/forecasts, the discomfort of the heat, the weight of online media and the grief I'm feeling overall about what happened in the West.

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

Rn I'm looking at the last few pics I took of the Vacation wip and I'm really happy with a lot of the stuff I did ☺️ I'm not sure when I'll publish it, but it's coming along

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

Okay enough of my anger and disdain!!!!!!!!@!!!!!!!

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

I know they were there with the other Caribbean students sharing jokes and vibes about Iverson

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

When I'm more in the drawing mood today or tonight, gonna probably try sketching out Hunk and friends cooking oxtail or playing dominoes or sumn

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

Subverting all these fandomites seeing Hunk be half-Black, half-Samoan and overwhelmingly focusing on his Samoan side, by making personal content of Hunk indulging in his mom's (and his) Jcan culture 🙂‍↕️

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

All I can manifest thinking about rn is Hunk and Allura, which makes sense considering they're the two characters I align so strongly with the Jcan experience (Allura more Caribbean in general) and Lance as well... yea. That's all I got

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

You know what would be nice... I would love to be able to turn my brain onto thinking about my muses and their friends again so that I can be happier.... anyways I'm not caring about fandom discourse anymore. The last thing I need rn is to feel frustrated at fandom butchering characters again

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

Stuff like this is exactly why Lance and Hunk being friends make sense.

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 1d

You know what would be nice... I would love to be able to turn my brain onto thinking about my muses and their friends again so that I can be happier.... anyways I'm not caring about fandom discourse anymore. The last thing I need rn is to feel frustrated at fandom butchering characters again

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Reposted by Dee 🌺

Link is still not free. @davidmordecai.com · 2d

The Jamaican Government has set up a portal for people wanting to provide support supportjamaica.gov.jm

This is the situation at one of the private hospitals in Kingston, a location far less affected than other parts of the island. Many people and places are facing much more damage. #Melissa

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Reposted by Dee 🌺

The Associated Press @apnews.com · 2d

BREAKING: Twenty-five people died in southern Haiti after a river flooded by Hurricane Melissa burst its banks, the mayor of a coastal town told AP.

Live updates: Hurricane Melissa hits Cuba after pummeling Jamaica with record wind speeds

Hurricane Melissa made landfall in eastern Cuba near the city of Chivirico early Wednesday as a Category 3 storm after pummeling Jamaica as one of the strongest Atlantic hurricanes on record, the U.S. National Hurricane Center said.

bit.ly

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 2d

Retire the name Melissa as soon as she dies in the upper Atlantic. That name will forever be a curse.

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 2d

I'm really sitting on my roof with tears in my eyes like cut the cameras.

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 2d

Like people hurricane-proofed their houses so much in the West and she came and ripped off the hurricane-proofing. Girl what the fuck.

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 2d

Either way I'm kinda holding a ton of grief and it's showing so clear on my face bc my neighbour told me I don't look okay at all 🫠😓

Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 2d

It feels so fucked bc I do not see this as some sort of blessing in any way like other people do... but it's like really coming to terms with the fact that today would have been completely different if things changed. Genuinely don't even think I would still have my house unscathed.

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 2d

There's a special type of survivor's guilt I'm realizing that's impacting me bc I'm seeing the devastation in the West and it's just.

The original forecast was supposed to pass over our community.

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Dee 🌺 @syntiannitrate.bsky.social · 2d

I just am sitting on a whole heap of nerves and anger and frustration and unease. The dumbass misinformation. The sensationalizing. So many people in America wanting to see Jamaica bulldozed and people dead. Like Im just hitting that disgust properly now

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