第一の手記.
@talesofmacabre.bsky.social
THE FIRST NOTEBOOK.
⠀strumming my pain
⠀with his 𝖋ingers.
quotes every 10 minutes.
⠀strumming my pain
⠀with his 𝖋ingers.
quotes every 10 minutes.
Pinned
beauty is like a decayed tooth.
December 10, 2025 at 2:10 AM
beauty is like a decayed tooth.
his occupation gave me the feeling of " tragedy " in the most sensuous meaning of the word.
December 10, 2025 at 1:47 AM
his occupation gave me the feeling of " tragedy " in the most sensuous meaning of the word.
we do not collide with our destiny all of a sudden.
December 10, 2025 at 1:40 AM
we do not collide with our destiny all of a sudden.
what transforms this world is knowledge.
December 10, 2025 at 1:32 AM
what transforms this world is knowledge.
the adumbration of beauty contained in one detail was linked with the subsequent adumbration of beauty, and so it was that the various adumbrations of a beauty which did not exist had become the underlying motif of the Golden Temple. such adumbrations were
December 10, 2025 at 1:18 AM
the adumbration of beauty contained in one detail was linked with the subsequent adumbration of beauty, and so it was that the various adumbrations of a beauty which did not exist had become the underlying motif of the Golden Temple. such adumbrations were
they would look distastefully at the pallid face of that unchildlike child.
December 10, 2025 at 1:11 AM
they would look distastefully at the pallid face of that unchildlike child.
the procession passing before my eyes aroused in me a joy akin to terror.
December 10, 2025 at 12:54 AM
the procession passing before my eyes aroused in me a joy akin to terror.
I was choked by desire, thinking, " I want to change into him, " thinking, " I want to be him. "
December 10, 2025 at 12:47 AM
I was choked by desire, thinking, " I want to change into him, " thinking, " I want to be him. "
my heart had never before been swayed, and at first glance, by such a deep and unexplainable grief, a grief moreover that was no part of my masquerade.
December 10, 2025 at 12:36 AM
my heart had never before been swayed, and at first glance, by such a deep and unexplainable grief, a grief moreover that was no part of my masquerade.
in doing so I had obviously arrived unwittingly at nothing more than a belief in the platonic concept of love.
December 10, 2025 at 12:28 AM
in doing so I had obviously arrived unwittingly at nothing more than a belief in the platonic concept of love.
even the blossoming flowers will eventually scatter, who in this world shall remain unchanged? let us today, cross the mountains of impermanence and no longer have superficial dreams, nor be deluded.
December 10, 2025 at 12:08 AM
even the blossoming flowers will eventually scatter, who in this world shall remain unchanged? let us today, cross the mountains of impermanence and no longer have superficial dreams, nor be deluded.
I believed optimistically that once the performance was finished the curtain would fall and the audience would never see the actor without his make — up.
December 9, 2025 at 11:51 PM
I believed optimistically that once the performance was finished the curtain would fall and the audience would never see the actor without his make — up.
when one considers well, it seems likely that many a time, even in the midst of a sweet kiss, a foretaste of the agony of death must have furrowed his brow with a fleeting shadow of pain.
December 9, 2025 at 11:45 PM
when one considers well, it seems likely that many a time, even in the midst of a sweet kiss, a foretaste of the agony of death must have furrowed his brow with a fleeting shadow of pain.
the war had produced a strangely sentimental maturity in us. it arose from our thinking of life as something that would end abruptly in our twenties; we never even considered the possibility of there being anything beyond those few remaining years. life
December 9, 2025 at 11:28 PM
the war had produced a strangely sentimental maturity in us. it arose from our thinking of life as something that would end abruptly in our twenties; we never even considered the possibility of there being anything beyond those few remaining years. life
when you look at the world with knowledge, you realise that things are unchangeable and at the same time are constantly being transformed.
December 9, 2025 at 11:22 PM
when you look at the world with knowledge, you realise that things are unchangeable and at the same time are constantly being transformed.
the adumbration of beauty contained in one detail was linked with the subsequent adumbration of beauty, and so it was that the various adumbrations of a beauty which did not exist had become the underlying motif of the Golden Temple. such adumbrations were
December 9, 2025 at 11:11 PM
the adumbration of beauty contained in one detail was linked with the subsequent adumbration of beauty, and so it was that the various adumbrations of a beauty which did not exist had become the underlying motif of the Golden Temple. such adumbrations were
knowledge is the sea of humanity, the field of humanity, the general condition of human existence.
December 9, 2025 at 11:01 PM
knowledge is the sea of humanity, the field of humanity, the general condition of human existence.
to put it in a rather vulgar way, I had been dreaming about love in the firm belief that I could not be loved, but at the final stage, I had substituted desire for love and felt a sort of relief. but in the end I had understood that desire itself
December 9, 2025 at 10:52 PM
to put it in a rather vulgar way, I had been dreaming about love in the firm belief that I could not be loved, but at the final stage, I had substituted desire for love and felt a sort of relief. but in the end I had understood that desire itself
the special quality of hell is to see everything clearly down to the last detail.
December 9, 2025 at 10:42 PM
the special quality of hell is to see everything clearly down to the last detail.
when people concentrate on the idea of beauty, they are, without realising it, confronted with the darkest thoughts that exist in this world. that, I suppose, is how human beings are made.
December 9, 2025 at 10:20 PM
when people concentrate on the idea of beauty, they are, without realising it, confronted with the darkest thoughts that exist in this world. that, I suppose, is how human beings are made.
father’s face was buried in early summer flowers. there was something gruesome about the utter freshness of those flowers.
December 9, 2025 at 10:10 PM
father’s face was buried in early summer flowers. there was something gruesome about the utter freshness of those flowers.
what I wanted was to die among strangers, untroubled, beneath a cloudless sky.
December 9, 2025 at 9:48 PM
what I wanted was to die among strangers, untroubled, beneath a cloudless sky.
it seemed that hell could appear day or night, at any time, at any place, simply in response to one’s own thoughts or wishes. it seemed that we could summon it at our own pleasure and that instantly, it would appear.
December 9, 2025 at 9:40 PM
it seemed that hell could appear day or night, at any time, at any place, simply in response to one’s own thoughts or wishes. it seemed that we could summon it at our own pleasure and that instantly, it would appear.
the fact of not being understood by others had been my sole source of pride since my early youth, and I had not the slightest impulse to express myself in such a way that I might be understood. when I did try to clarify my thoughts and actions, I
December 9, 2025 at 9:32 PM
the fact of not being understood by others had been my sole source of pride since my early youth, and I had not the slightest impulse to express myself in such a way that I might be understood. when I did try to clarify my thoughts and actions, I
I have noticed that in the photographs of me taken about that time together with my family, the others have serious faces; only mine is invariably contorted into a peculiar smile.
December 9, 2025 at 9:22 PM
I have noticed that in the photographs of me taken about that time together with my family, the others have serious faces; only mine is invariably contorted into a peculiar smile.