Attention sports announcers: The word you want is “aggressiveness,” not “aggression.” Aggressiveness is playing tough and taking chances. Aggression is when a player strikes out and breaks the dugout water cooler with his bat.

If you can’t go cold turkey, commit to fewer and fewer kings over time.

I’m really disappointed that human adults need to be warned, via commercial, not to take medications to which they’re allergic. Or to not continue medications once dangerous side effects occur.

I was checking out and sang to the checker “I smell rice and candy.” He was young and was confused. This surely was a dream.

thinking about upgrading to Depression Plus™️

"Twenty-three Democratic attorneys general now gather on near-daily Zoom calls at 8 AM Pacific, which means the East Coast officials are already on their third coffee. They divide responsibilities and share templates for lawsuits they’ve been drafting since last spring."

There isn’t enough edible clothing. How about HoHose or Cummerbundt Cake?

The official prom accessory of Bhutan is the boutonnière.

Why are Mario and Luigi called “Mario Brothers?” That’s like saying “I want you back” and “ABC” were performed by the Tito 5.