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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 4d

Y'all, I'm so tired. This queer exmormon is having a bad weekend.

Queer and trans Utahns (especially those of us with Mormon family and neighbors) are being squashed on the federal, state, and local levels legally. And now one of the most queerphobic men in Mormonism is the church president.

FUCK.

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Reposted by Chance Hess

Ell Huang 🖤🤍💜 @nocturnalxlight.bsky.social · 12d

“I want to start with an important re-framing: it’s not your asexuality that’s caused your struggles. It’s allonormativity. […] It’s an important distinction, because you aren’t the cause of your own marginalization. You are fine. It’s the world that isn’t.”

🖤🩶🤍💜

Cody Daigle-Orians @codydo.bsky.social · 15d

Being proud of your aspec identity can take a number of different forms.

"How do I feel pride in my asexuality when it's only created struggles?"

Pride can contain all of queerness's complexity.

open.substack.com

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Reposted by Chance Hess

Lynda Carter @lyndacarter.bsky.social · 22d

Today is the 238th anniversary of the signing of the United States Constitution.
It is one we hope will endure.
Remember: WE the people.

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Reposted by Chance Hess

Sophie Labelle @assignedmale.bsky.social · 20d

It's never too late.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 22d

Conservatism is political cannibalism.

Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 22d

But none of this matches the right's goals, so it's all left to fester. And none of them are allowed to admit their hurting if they even manage to realize it. Many dont. (I highly recommend Dr. Steven Hassan's Combating Cult Mind Control for more on that.)

Conservatism is political cannibalism.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 22d

I could go on about the ageism, ablism, and distain of the poor and homeless. Hell, the fear of being seen as gay is so paralyzing for the conservative man, that they all isolate themselves from each other. Seriously, I've never met a right-wing man with healthy friendships. Not like the women do.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 22d

Non-white conservatives I've met are in a constant twist to justify their place, to prove they're "not like the others". They sacrifice so much of themselves to try and mirror the right's ideal of whiteness. It's never enough.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 22d

💯

What's ironic is many on the right do experience actual oppression, but if it doesn't match the correct narrative, they're silenced.

Conservative women experience constant misogyny, yet are manipulated to be grateful for it! I see it happen to family and neighbors every day.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 22d

People will be shocked how relevant favorability/repulsion and gender attachment/detachment spectrums are to them.

Is the primary goal of aspec advocacy to build a world where aspecs can thrive as themselves? Of course! But a consequence of that is also a world where allos thrive too!

Ashley Joy @ashley-joy.bsky.social · 23d

Everyone, regardless of identity, can benefit from learning about aromantic, asexual, and aspec experiences. They broaden our view of intimacy, showing that purpose can be found in countless ways beyond the traditional frameworks of romance and sex, creating space for everybody

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 23d

Thanks, friend! You're totally right, it really wasn't that long ago at all that finding any information on being trans was practically impossible. I'm so, so grateful to the trans folks who came before us who shared their experiences and knowledge. I'm feeling like it's time I did my part too.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 23d

This is so crazy, I did EXACTLY the same thing as a kid! I was always really proud of how much I could drop my pitch like Frank Sinatra, long before it dawned on me that that's not very cis of me, lol.

I also sang to Hall & Oates. (Yes, I did only have my parents' CDs, what gave it away?)

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 23d

Yeah, I really don't think many people have heard of it, let alone knew it was an option. It's actually incredible what people can achieve in voice training! I hope to knock people's socks off myself one day. Fingers crossed.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 23d

I mean... maybe we could have some gender fluidity? As a treat?

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 25d

If I do it, I'm thinking I would at least put a little restriction on who can comment or something.

Anyway, I'd love some thoughts and feedback. Should I bother posting my vocal progress on here?

a cartoon cat is holding a bottle and saying is that my voice

Alt: Gif from Disney's "The Emperor's New Groove". Ezma, having been turned into a cat, questions the sound of her voice in her new form with a bit of shock, saying, "Is that my voice? Is that MY voice? ...Oh, well."

media.tenor.com

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 25d

Here are my hangups:

a) I don't love the idea of advertising my agab. I'm pretty private about it.

b) What if I sound awful and embarrass myself? (Stage-fright.)

c) Every recording is just me reciting "Jabberwocky" in my car, with my phone so far. Are folks okay with the gross audio quality?

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 25d

Okay, I've been going back and forth on this for a long time (really for years), about whether or not I should be posting my vocal training progress. Cause I do believe in practicing what you preach.

If I want more visibility of enby vocal training, I should probably step up, yeah?

Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · Aug 14

You know what? I want to see nonbinary vocal training normalized. Make it downright mainstream.

Do I want this because I'm an agender person who's doing vocal training and I feel totally alone about it? Maybe.

Anyway, if you're enby-flavored and queering your voice, we should be friends.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 25d

Thank you for speaking with reason, Dylan.

And thank you for the wonderful influence you've been to show the true joy of trans people living as our true selves. Your smile is so powerful!

Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 26d

But, I guess what I'm saying is please don't give up on humans. No, we can't save everyone and it's not your job to, but there's some people out there who just need an invitation to leave the hatred behind. And you can be that invite just by living your happiest life.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 26d

And I'm proof that it's not true. We can do it now. There's hope now. And the best, most effective method is to share your joy, your hopes, your art, your jokes, and your friendship if you can.

Is there a time and place for harsh words and throwing bricks? Absolutely, and we have plenty of them.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 26d

But, I talk about it sometimes anyway, because I think there's a sense of defeat in some parts of the queer community; an idea that too many people are a lost cause and we'll just have to focus on the fence-sitters and then wait for a generation or two to die off and then maybe we'll have rights.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 26d

I really hate talking about this part of my life because I feel like there's tar in my intestines when I remember what an awful person I used to be. And it's cold-comfort to know a lot of queer exmos like me have a very similar story. Honestly, I'm just still so embarrassed I could cry.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 26d

Anyway, I'm straying from my point going down memory lane, but what I'm trying to say is people telling me I was a jerk never convinced me. Watching people plead didn't change me.

But someone just being happy to be their true self and inviting me to share that joy?

Shattered. You can't fight that.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 26d

But seriously, it was too late for my conservative ideology. The sidewalk had cracked and water was dripping into the basement.

It's really hard to bigot your way around "one of the coolest people I've ever met is super sapphic." People can do it, but shit, it's mind-melting effort.

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Chance Hess @thechancehess.bsky.social · 26d

Was I a changed and repentent person by the end of the year? No, I moved out because my mother didn't want me "living with a lesbian" and I took two other roommates with me.

One of the roommates never saw me again and I didn't reconnect with the other til later. They didn't witness the change.

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