@themadwesterner.bsky.social
I didn't get to inbox zero, but I got to "inbox small enough to ditch Google's new AI bullshit 'smart features,' so eat my nards, Google," which is cool.
November 24, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I didn't get to inbox zero, but I got to "inbox small enough to ditch Google's new AI bullshit 'smart features,' so eat my nards, Google," which is cool.
I am, simply put, not proud of how my signature is devolving over time.
November 21, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I am, simply put, not proud of how my signature is devolving over time.
What exactly do teenage white boys say when they go to the barber these days? "Just, like, fucking have at it for a minute"?
November 12, 2025 at 2:07 PM
What exactly do teenage white boys say when they go to the barber these days? "Just, like, fucking have at it for a minute"?
Hey, so, real talk: I don't pick up the dog's turds when she drops them at Trump houses.
November 11, 2025 at 12:46 AM
Hey, so, real talk: I don't pick up the dog's turds when she drops them at Trump houses.
Contain multitudes, motherfuckers.
November 2, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Contain multitudes, motherfuckers.
Saw a pickup truck with a Batman sticker, and it was so refreshing that it wasn't some 3%er or NRA or blueline flag or any other such bullshit that it made me incredibly wistful or another time.
October 23, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Saw a pickup truck with a Batman sticker, and it was so refreshing that it wasn't some 3%er or NRA or blueline flag or any other such bullshit that it made me incredibly wistful or another time.
"I don't really see why someone would think were a nation of 12-year-olds," she said as she placed her 57th rubber ducky on the dashboard of her SUV
October 21, 2025 at 1:12 PM
"I don't really see why someone would think were a nation of 12-year-olds," she said as she placed her 57th rubber ducky on the dashboard of her SUV
[Me, planning my day.]
"The Lions are on Monday night again? Being good sucks."
"The Lions are on Monday night again? Being good sucks."
October 19, 2025 at 5:17 PM
[Me, planning my day.]
"The Lions are on Monday night again? Being good sucks."
"The Lions are on Monday night again? Being good sucks."
Aw, buddy wants his own Brandenburg Gate. I wonder why he likes that idea.
President Trump is seeking to build a triumphal arch on a Washington roundabout to celebrate America’s 250th anniversary next year. Trump showed models of the proposed arch at a fund-raising dinner on Wednesday for another of his pet projects, a White House ballroom. www.nytimes.com/2025/10/17/u...
October 18, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Aw, buddy wants his own Brandenburg Gate. I wonder why he likes that idea.
You can already talk at your computer. I tell mine "fuck off!" all the time.
This is the future of Windows. Microsoft wants to rewrite Windows to turn computers into AI PCs that you talk to. It's now bringing AI features to all Windows 11 PCs today, in a bid to convince you to talk to your PC and let AI control it. Full details 👇 www.theverge.com/news/799768/...
Microsoft wants you to talk to your PC and let AI control it
Copilot Voice and Vision are now rolling out.
www.theverge.com
October 16, 2025 at 5:06 PM
You can already talk at your computer. I tell mine "fuck off!" all the time.
🎶 Hey, little girl, is your daddy home?
I need to talk to him about a loan.
My FanDuel plans backfired—
Oh, oh, oh, my budget's dire. 🎶
I need to talk to him about a loan.
My FanDuel plans backfired—
Oh, oh, oh, my budget's dire. 🎶
October 16, 2025 at 1:07 PM
🎶 Hey, little girl, is your daddy home?
I need to talk to him about a loan.
My FanDuel plans backfired—
Oh, oh, oh, my budget's dire. 🎶
I need to talk to him about a loan.
My FanDuel plans backfired—
Oh, oh, oh, my budget's dire. 🎶
The haters will try to erase you. Fuck 'em—keep smiling!
October 15, 2025 at 4:55 PM
The haters will try to erase you. Fuck 'em—keep smiling!
One of those days when I skim the headlines and wonder in what stupid 18th-century bullshit way will I die in the next decade.
I'm betting on scurvy once real food becomes scarce.
I'm betting on scurvy once real food becomes scarce.
October 14, 2025 at 1:09 PM
One of those days when I skim the headlines and wonder in what stupid 18th-century bullshit way will I die in the next decade.
I'm betting on scurvy once real food becomes scarce.
I'm betting on scurvy once real food becomes scarce.
Shout-out to places that take the guesswork out of things, like The Breakfast Spot or The Brunch Café. I might retire and open Fuck It, Doughnuts.
October 11, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Shout-out to places that take the guesswork out of things, like The Breakfast Spot or The Brunch Café. I might retire and open Fuck It, Doughnuts.
Ah, Livonia, you always smell like gas and unrecognized desperation.
October 11, 2025 at 1:11 PM
Ah, Livonia, you always smell like gas and unrecognized desperation.
Oh we're on Trump watch all right.
October 10, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Oh we're on Trump watch all right.
It's good "lean against the counter and read while potatoes roast in the oven so your butt gets warm" weather, Michigan. Enjoy.
October 9, 2025 at 10:44 PM
It's good "lean against the counter and read while potatoes roast in the oven so your butt gets warm" weather, Michigan. Enjoy.
[Trying to catcall a pretty lady in the library parking lot]
"Ma'am, you got lots of parts put together in a nice order, and it looks good!"
"Ma'am, you got lots of parts put together in a nice order, and it looks good!"
October 9, 2025 at 4:15 PM
[Trying to catcall a pretty lady in the library parking lot]
"Ma'am, you got lots of parts put together in a nice order, and it looks good!"
"Ma'am, you got lots of parts put together in a nice order, and it looks good!"
Parenting is complex and important. For example, you need to say 8-9 sometimes to remind your tween of the existence of other numbers.
October 8, 2025 at 3:10 PM
Parenting is complex and important. For example, you need to say 8-9 sometimes to remind your tween of the existence of other numbers.
"I voted for none of these things that everyone other than him knew he was going to do and said he was going to do because I believed the compulsive liar when he said he wouldn't. Also I'm probably quite racist and/or sexist because I felt I had no options in the voting booth."
“I voted for none of this."
Prominent influencers, including Theo Von, Joe Rogan, and Andrew Schulz, are starting to distance themselves from the president they helped propel to the White House.
Story: www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...
Prominent influencers, including Theo Von, Joe Rogan, and Andrew Schulz, are starting to distance themselves from the president they helped propel to the White House.
Story: www.rollingstone.com/politics/pol...
October 6, 2025 at 8:28 PM
"I voted for none of these things that everyone other than him knew he was going to do and said he was going to do because I believed the compulsive liar when he said he wouldn't. Also I'm probably quite racist and/or sexist because I felt I had no options in the voting booth."
Thing I said today that sounds somehow absolutely filthy and in my 20s probably was but today was really just about coffee:
Well yeah you're feeling good. She did give you the quad, bro.
Well yeah you're feeling good. She did give you the quad, bro.
October 6, 2025 at 5:24 PM
Thing I said today that sounds somehow absolutely filthy and in my 20s probably was but today was really just about coffee:
Well yeah you're feeling good. She did give you the quad, bro.
Well yeah you're feeling good. She did give you the quad, bro.
Good morning. Fuck AI. Freedom for everyone. Happy Friday you sexy bastards.
October 3, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Good morning. Fuck AI. Freedom for everyone. Happy Friday you sexy bastards.
Shout-out to the DJ at WDET who earlier today viciously mocked everyone in the studio who said they didn't know "One Nation Under a Groove" by P-Funk and properly berated them and explained that it's Detroit heritage. Amen, brother.
October 3, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Shout-out to the DJ at WDET who earlier today viciously mocked everyone in the studio who said they didn't know "One Nation Under a Groove" by P-Funk and properly berated them and explained that it's Detroit heritage. Amen, brother.
🎶 I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way 🎶
Teach them well and let them lead the way 🎶
Wow, the University of Washington's Psych 201 class does *not* play
go fuckin Huskies
Nazi UW students fuck off
go fuckin Huskies
Nazi UW students fuck off
October 2, 2025 at 1:17 PM
🎶 I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way 🎶
Teach them well and let them lead the way 🎶
I'd pay $5 for a transcript of the generals' group chats today. Over/under on number of times someone says "this fuckin' guy" is inestimable. Vegas won't touch it.
Hegseth: "I don't want me son serving alongside troops who are out of shape or in combat units with females who can't meet the same combat arms physical standards as men"
September 30, 2025 at 1:09 PM
I'd pay $5 for a transcript of the generals' group chats today. Over/under on number of times someone says "this fuckin' guy" is inestimable. Vegas won't touch it.