The kings advisor when the rebels are storming the gates: "M'lord, they are going to cut off me fookin 'ed..."

Reading all this Niel Gaiman stuffs just reinforces the decision 6 year old me made to never read books. I'm 500 steps ahead of everyone.

Scientists today "I have spent 15 years studying the effects of Atrazine on zygote production in lab rats. Now we must temper my findings as my data fails to take into account..."

Scientists back in the day "I beat monkeys with bats and lemme tell you they do NOT like it."

The NYPD being outsmarted for so long by an assassin named Luigi is hands down the biggest L they have ever taken. Yes it's bigger than the other time.

Camera crew was evil for this one

God's cruelest joke was giving me a singing voice, but it was the voice of Scott Stapp.

WWE posting: Milwaukee tools should sponsor CM Punk.

You either die a farter, or live to be a sharter.

Throwback to when I made a drunken tbell order so incomprehensible my boyfriend refused to get me the tbell.

People are going too crazy on the sauces. Everyone, if you got ketchup, mayo, mustard, Worcestershire, and a hot sauce, you can make 90% of sauces yourself. It's time to fucking relax there is some poor guy locked in the basement of Heinz HQ running out of condiment compounds.