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Jonathan Edward Durham

@thisone0verhere.bsky.social

85K followers 150 following 4.2K posts

Writer. Reader. Sometimes funny. Generalized anxiety Wunderkind. Author of “Winterset Hollow.” https://jonathanedwarddurham.substack.com http://Patreon.com/jonathanedwarddurham https://jonathanedwarddurham.com

jonathanedwarddurham.substack.com

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · Nov 17

Hey folks! Do you hate the Sunday scaries but love and/or tolerate my humor? Well you’re in luck, because I’m writing a weekly humor column! (screaming crying throwing up etc) It’s called “Know Worries” and the first issue is up now on my substack and Patreon! And it’s free! Links below and in bio!

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 3h

Go birds go Phils fml

Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 10h

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became grown, I put away childish things. Then when I became a bit more grown, I rebought those same childish things from a vintage reseller and kinda don’t know how to feel about it

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 10h

I was at the DMV today and when we were in line like *everybody* was asking me questions like I knew what I was doing or something, and I couldn’t figure out why until I looked around and noticed I was the oldest person there and fuuuuuck

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 10h

Sweet

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 12h

Most job interviews are just two people trying to catfish each other

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 13h

This is just for general context about everything

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 13h

Just a reminder that not that long ago there was a national outrage over a cartoon child saying “eat my shorts”

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 13h

Here’s some cocaine or whatever

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 13h

doctors before X-rays: yeah idk man

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 14h

Love when my dog wakes up with me in the morning and then immediately clocks in for a nap like yes king go off

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 14h

How many times do you hit snooze should be a required field on all dating profiles

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 14h

1) every year we all get to vote on which classic story gets made into a muppet movie

2) every year you guys make that muppet movie

3) we will ALL go see every one of these

4) you will never not profit from this

5) why are we not doing things this way

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 14h

“We don’t know what’s going on anymore but this weekend might suck for some of you guys”

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 14h

Hey in most cases this is not what we’re stressed about right now

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

One more trip to the pencil sharpener would fix me

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

Can’t wait till one of these knocks on my door for tweeting about a late night talk show host or whatever

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

Wasting your favorite hoodie on a bad day is a top ten awful feeling

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

It feels like there aren’t enough chapters left for a plot twist this year so let’s just wrap this up huh

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

If there’s a booth available and you sit me at a table I’m going to assume you hate me

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

The lion concerns himself with a lot actually. Honestly the lion is a bit of a worrier. Omg you’re not mad at the lion, are you?

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

bartender: the usual?

me: you know it

bartender: [takes out a wrinkle in time and begins to read to me]

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

My morning routine is super important. Like if I don't have enough caffeine and bad news to help me properly catastrophize the rest of the day, I just feel off, you know?

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 15h

Not outrageously spontaneous or pathologically regimented but a secret third thing where I can be either one but only at the worst possible time for everyone involved

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 1d

A nice added bonus from decorating your porch for Halloween is the little shot of autumn dopamine you get every time DoorDash sends you a picture of your delivery

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 1d

See, you get it