Giles1st
@thosearentpillows.bsky.social
I'm here for the jokes.
Sometimes I wonder what I'd look like with Trivago®️ teeth.
January 21, 2026 at 5:21 PM
Sometimes I wonder what I'd look like with Trivago®️ teeth.
I'd put them in my ass, then, when the licking stopped, I'd remove them, charge them to 10% and reinsert. Repeat cycle.
December 15, 2025 at 5:26 PM
I'd put them in my ass, then, when the licking stopped, I'd remove them, charge them to 10% and reinsert. Repeat cycle.
All three can be simultaneously true and please tell your grandma that I regret how it ended between us. If she gives me just one more chance, tell her that I'll knock the cobwebs off that thang. Low-key find out if she still thinks about me.
December 9, 2025 at 10:58 PM
All three can be simultaneously true and please tell your grandma that I regret how it ended between us. If she gives me just one more chance, tell her that I'll knock the cobwebs off that thang. Low-key find out if she still thinks about me.
Sarah Sherman on SNL this weekend was a RILF.
December 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
Sarah Sherman on SNL this weekend was a RILF.
If you've ever laughed at something I've posted, consider therapy.
December 8, 2025 at 5:27 PM
If you've ever laughed at something I've posted, consider therapy.
He'll pray with you, offer you food, ask for a donation and nonsensically chant, but after that, he gonna sho*t dat a**.
Are you feeling lucky?
Are you feeling lucky?
December 1, 2025 at 10:39 PM
He'll pray with you, offer you food, ask for a donation and nonsensically chant, but after that, he gonna sho*t dat a**.
Are you feeling lucky?
Are you feeling lucky?
"Please tell emergency services to hurry. I've just killed my child's pet gerbil."
Flashback to last week:
My Kid: Dad, why does my gerbil smell funny?
Me: huh?
Flashback to last week:
My Kid: Dad, why does my gerbil smell funny?
Me: huh?
November 29, 2025 at 11:32 PM
"Please tell emergency services to hurry. I've just killed my child's pet gerbil."
Flashback to last week:
My Kid: Dad, why does my gerbil smell funny?
Me: huh?
Flashback to last week:
My Kid: Dad, why does my gerbil smell funny?
Me: huh?
I think that teaching myself to make AI videos would be useful for my sales career...
Example:
ME: Take the 20 case drop or a video of you making love to a horse goes viral.
THEM: But I've never made love to a hor....*
*receives video
THEM: OMG.
Example:
ME: Take the 20 case drop or a video of you making love to a horse goes viral.
THEM: But I've never made love to a hor....*
*receives video
THEM: OMG.
November 26, 2025 at 2:57 AM
I think that teaching myself to make AI videos would be useful for my sales career...
Example:
ME: Take the 20 case drop or a video of you making love to a horse goes viral.
THEM: But I've never made love to a hor....*
*receives video
THEM: OMG.
Example:
ME: Take the 20 case drop or a video of you making love to a horse goes viral.
THEM: But I've never made love to a hor....*
*receives video
THEM: OMG.
@danawhite.bsky.social No one wants to see Michael Chandler and Conor McGregor fight. One of them hasn't fought for years and the other is on a losing streak. The only positive thing about this fight is that one or both of these annoying Fooks is going to get their ass kicked.
November 23, 2025 at 9:26 PM
@danawhite.bsky.social No one wants to see Michael Chandler and Conor McGregor fight. One of them hasn't fought for years and the other is on a losing streak. The only positive thing about this fight is that one or both of these annoying Fooks is going to get their ass kicked.
It's a vintage silver pill box. Once dad's ashes are inside, the jeweler will laser it shut and I'll pick a chain. Dad is always in my heart, now he'll also be around my neck.
November 23, 2025 at 3:19 AM
It's a vintage silver pill box. Once dad's ashes are inside, the jeweler will laser it shut and I'll pick a chain. Dad is always in my heart, now he'll also be around my neck.
My wife said I can have a giraffe if we win the lotto but I'll have to ride it to work. Hit me up if you need giraffe milk.
November 12, 2025 at 12:53 PM
My wife said I can have a giraffe if we win the lotto but I'll have to ride it to work. Hit me up if you need giraffe milk.
Which is most true? Elaboration encouraged.
1) My posts are not funny.
2) No one sees my posts.
3) Both 1 & 2 are equally true.
4) Fill in the blank.
1) My posts are not funny.
2) No one sees my posts.
3) Both 1 & 2 are equally true.
4) Fill in the blank.
November 7, 2025 at 6:25 PM
Which is most true? Elaboration encouraged.
1) My posts are not funny.
2) No one sees my posts.
3) Both 1 & 2 are equally true.
4) Fill in the blank.
1) My posts are not funny.
2) No one sees my posts.
3) Both 1 & 2 are equally true.
4) Fill in the blank.
You can only push a pooh so far. (Gravity takes care of the rest.)*
*double entendre
*double entendre
November 7, 2025 at 5:21 PM
You can only push a pooh so far. (Gravity takes care of the rest.)*
*double entendre
*double entendre
Laughter is my coping mechanism.
November 6, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Laughter is my coping mechanism.
DO NOT BUY THIS!! IT BURNS YOUR PENIS! My surgeon is recommending 6 more sessions of skin grafts. My Lawyer thinks I have a case. The company that made the product is out of business so we're suing Ebay®️ directly. There was nothing on their site indicating that I shouldn't put my penis in it.
November 3, 2025 at 9:47 PM
DO NOT BUY THIS!! IT BURNS YOUR PENIS! My surgeon is recommending 6 more sessions of skin grafts. My Lawyer thinks I have a case. The company that made the product is out of business so we're suing Ebay®️ directly. There was nothing on their site indicating that I shouldn't put my penis in it.
Sometimes your mom chooses the cucumber and sometimes the cucumber chooses your mom.
October 16, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Sometimes your mom chooses the cucumber and sometimes the cucumber chooses your mom.
The opposite of fusili is fuserious unless you're making dinner in the hood. Then it's fudeadass.
September 27, 2025 at 10:31 PM
The opposite of fusili is fuserious unless you're making dinner in the hood. Then it's fudeadass.
If someone in the office smells like Limited Edition Churro Flavored Bailey's Irish Cream®️ and fine imported coffee, it's me. I just spilled it down my pantalones.
September 19, 2025 at 12:55 PM
If someone in the office smells like Limited Edition Churro Flavored Bailey's Irish Cream®️ and fine imported coffee, it's me. I just spilled it down my pantalones.
Reposted by Giles1st
Just think: Before the internet, it would've taken days, weeks or even months to receive mountains of misinformation we get now in just minutes
September 11, 2025 at 5:54 AM
Just think: Before the internet, it would've taken days, weeks or even months to receive mountains of misinformation we get now in just minutes
Rob Ryan looks like Hulk Hogan ate an entire box of Twinkies®️.
September 11, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Rob Ryan looks like Hulk Hogan ate an entire box of Twinkies®️.