Tiffany Bond
@tiffanybond.com
Relationship mortician, ski mom, lover of machine-washable throw blankets.
No one of consequence.
Somewhere in the Maine mountains.
No one of consequence.
Somewhere in the Maine mountains.
We're testing the theory that English ivy is a bathroom air scrubber.
January 10, 2026 at 10:35 PM
We're testing the theory that English ivy is a bathroom air scrubber.
This is all so unnecessary.
January 10, 2026 at 3:20 PM
This is all so unnecessary.
"We will find you and will kill you" is not the new years resolution I was hoping for, but it does seem to be the official new year's resolution of the government we're paying for, so that's certainly horrifying.
January 10, 2026 at 12:29 PM
"We will find you and will kill you" is not the new years resolution I was hoping for, but it does seem to be the official new year's resolution of the government we're paying for, so that's certainly horrifying.
Janeane Garofalo, 1996: There are a lot of us dumb bitches.
Me, 2026: There are a lot of us fucking bitches.
Me, 2026: There are a lot of us fucking bitches.
January 10, 2026 at 1:06 AM
Janeane Garofalo, 1996: There are a lot of us dumb bitches.
Me, 2026: There are a lot of us fucking bitches.
Me, 2026: There are a lot of us fucking bitches.
Feeling quite happy that my house was built without a doorbell.
January 9, 2026 at 4:25 PM
Feeling quite happy that my house was built without a doorbell.
Those border walls they put up are to keep us in.
January 9, 2026 at 2:20 AM
Those border walls they put up are to keep us in.
It's difficult to be an attorney with all of the fascism.
More so when you understand how feckless those who are supposed to be protecting us are.
Doubly so when you offered to be one of the protecting people and instead a feckless weasel was selected, doing the most milquetoast job imaginable.
More so when you understand how feckless those who are supposed to be protecting us are.
Doubly so when you offered to be one of the protecting people and instead a feckless weasel was selected, doing the most milquetoast job imaginable.
January 7, 2026 at 8:47 PM
It's difficult to be an attorney with all of the fascism.
More so when you understand how feckless those who are supposed to be protecting us are.
Doubly so when you offered to be one of the protecting people and instead a feckless weasel was selected, doing the most milquetoast job imaginable.
More so when you understand how feckless those who are supposed to be protecting us are.
Doubly so when you offered to be one of the protecting people and instead a feckless weasel was selected, doing the most milquetoast job imaginable.
This is the bad place.
January 7, 2026 at 8:27 PM
This is the bad place.
Look, I don't know that we're going to make it to midterms, but the Congress we have now isn't going to save us.
And the options I have for US House Rep right now sure aren't going to either.
And I don't have enough support to be an alternative.
We have to do something.
And the options I have for US House Rep right now sure aren't going to either.
And I don't have enough support to be an alternative.
We have to do something.
January 7, 2026 at 7:22 PM
Look, I don't know that we're going to make it to midterms, but the Congress we have now isn't going to save us.
And the options I have for US House Rep right now sure aren't going to either.
And I don't have enough support to be an alternative.
We have to do something.
And the options I have for US House Rep right now sure aren't going to either.
And I don't have enough support to be an alternative.
We have to do something.
Uh...so this is pretty damn bad.
Where the hell is our Congress while this gestapo terrorizes the US?
Where the hell is our Congress while this gestapo terrorizes the US?
NEW: Second video shows ICE shooting in Minneapolis. A woman, a U.S. citizen, was killed
January 7, 2026 at 6:51 PM
Uh...so this is pretty damn bad.
Where the hell is our Congress while this gestapo terrorizes the US?
Where the hell is our Congress while this gestapo terrorizes the US?
The porch raccoon heard me pull in the garage. I've been gone for a couple of days and apparently I was missed.
January 7, 2026 at 12:15 AM
The porch raccoon heard me pull in the garage. I've been gone for a couple of days and apparently I was missed.
How long do we think it'll take my steam heat system to go from 47° to something reasonable?
January 6, 2026 at 1:14 AM
How long do we think it'll take my steam heat system to go from 47° to something reasonable?
You all.
I've been in Court alllll day (and again allllll day tomorrow, plus most of Weds).
My voicemail is FULL.
Apparently, lots of folks are going to be much more lonely this year.
So anywho, email me because I'm not wading through that after a 16 hour day.
I've been in Court alllll day (and again allllll day tomorrow, plus most of Weds).
My voicemail is FULL.
Apparently, lots of folks are going to be much more lonely this year.
So anywho, email me because I'm not wading through that after a 16 hour day.
January 6, 2026 at 1:09 AM
You all.
I've been in Court alllll day (and again allllll day tomorrow, plus most of Weds).
My voicemail is FULL.
Apparently, lots of folks are going to be much more lonely this year.
So anywho, email me because I'm not wading through that after a 16 hour day.
I've been in Court alllll day (and again allllll day tomorrow, plus most of Weds).
My voicemail is FULL.
Apparently, lots of folks are going to be much more lonely this year.
So anywho, email me because I'm not wading through that after a 16 hour day.
Like the weather today, I'm down more than 1F for each day of 2026.
January 5, 2026 at 2:42 PM
Like the weather today, I'm down more than 1F for each day of 2026.
Just placed my seed/plant order for the year.
Say a prayer for my budget.
Say a prayer for my budget.
January 5, 2026 at 12:14 AM
Just placed my seed/plant order for the year.
Say a prayer for my budget.
Say a prayer for my budget.
Who broke the pact?
😐
😐
What we are all going to do is collectively, quietly tiptoe into 2026 and not double dog dare it to eclipse the horrors of 2025.
Can we make that pact?
Please and thank you.
Can we make that pact?
Please and thank you.
January 4, 2026 at 4:55 PM
Who broke the pact?
😐
😐
It's #SundayCheckIn for 1/4.
How was your week?
How are you holding up?
What do you need?
What are you struggling with?
What has helped?
What kindness would help you?
Remember to wash your sheets.
How was your week?
How are you holding up?
What do you need?
What are you struggling with?
What has helped?
What kindness would help you?
Remember to wash your sheets.
January 4, 2026 at 1:17 PM
It's #SundayCheckIn for 1/4.
How was your week?
How are you holding up?
What do you need?
What are you struggling with?
What has helped?
What kindness would help you?
Remember to wash your sheets.
How was your week?
How are you holding up?
What do you need?
What are you struggling with?
What has helped?
What kindness would help you?
Remember to wash your sheets.
If you are thinking you want to get divorced/break up, it's probably to do that sooner rather than later this year
It's INCREDIBLY difficult to find housing and establish yourself when governments go unstable - better not to be trapped with someone you are incompatible with when a melt down occurs
It's INCREDIBLY difficult to find housing and establish yourself when governments go unstable - better not to be trapped with someone you are incompatible with when a melt down occurs
January 3, 2026 at 9:56 PM
If you are thinking you want to get divorced/break up, it's probably to do that sooner rather than later this year
It's INCREDIBLY difficult to find housing and establish yourself when governments go unstable - better not to be trapped with someone you are incompatible with when a melt down occurs
It's INCREDIBLY difficult to find housing and establish yourself when governments go unstable - better not to be trapped with someone you are incompatible with when a melt down occurs
All I'm saying is that if I had been elected to Congress, I'd be on an absolute tear down there right now.
Somehow we have representatives that are the equivalent of butter-flavored jello.
Somehow we have representatives that are the equivalent of butter-flavored jello.
January 3, 2026 at 9:24 PM
All I'm saying is that if I had been elected to Congress, I'd be on an absolute tear down there right now.
Somehow we have representatives that are the equivalent of butter-flavored jello.
Somehow we have representatives that are the equivalent of butter-flavored jello.
They've wandered out onto the pond with an ice auger. What do we think they are up to?
January 3, 2026 at 7:02 PM
They've wandered out onto the pond with an ice auger. What do we think they are up to?
Wait...so now we're going to run Venezuela?
On top of our own governance issues like a hobby farm or something?
How? What? We can't even manage our own country out of a paper bag?
On top of our own governance issues like a hobby farm or something?
How? What? We can't even manage our own country out of a paper bag?
January 3, 2026 at 6:59 PM
Wait...so now we're going to run Venezuela?
On top of our own governance issues like a hobby farm or something?
How? What? We can't even manage our own country out of a paper bag?
On top of our own governance issues like a hobby farm or something?
How? What? We can't even manage our own country out of a paper bag?
I fall asleep for a few hours and we started a war.
WTF?
WTF?
January 3, 2026 at 9:35 AM
I fall asleep for a few hours and we started a war.
WTF?
WTF?
At dr's office for my annual visit, which my day is scheduled around since there are approx 3 drs in Maine so booking is a year out.
My appt was canceled (!), my dr retired (!), I have been assigned a new dr (!), 30+ mins away (!), no rescheduled appointment (!), and none avail for 6 mos (!)
My appt was canceled (!), my dr retired (!), I have been assigned a new dr (!), 30+ mins away (!), no rescheduled appointment (!), and none avail for 6 mos (!)
January 2, 2026 at 9:03 PM
At dr's office for my annual visit, which my day is scheduled around since there are approx 3 drs in Maine so booking is a year out.
My appt was canceled (!), my dr retired (!), I have been assigned a new dr (!), 30+ mins away (!), no rescheduled appointment (!), and none avail for 6 mos (!)
My appt was canceled (!), my dr retired (!), I have been assigned a new dr (!), 30+ mins away (!), no rescheduled appointment (!), and none avail for 6 mos (!)
The ice in Portland is brutal tonight.
With the assistance of a very excited dog, an encumbrance of two very full large sea bags and one hand holding a full beverage, I went down hard.
RIP my manicure and my beverage.
Off to get an ice pack for my knee.
With the assistance of a very excited dog, an encumbrance of two very full large sea bags and one hand holding a full beverage, I went down hard.
RIP my manicure and my beverage.
Off to get an ice pack for my knee.
January 2, 2026 at 2:10 AM
The ice in Portland is brutal tonight.
With the assistance of a very excited dog, an encumbrance of two very full large sea bags and one hand holding a full beverage, I went down hard.
RIP my manicure and my beverage.
Off to get an ice pack for my knee.
With the assistance of a very excited dog, an encumbrance of two very full large sea bags and one hand holding a full beverage, I went down hard.
RIP my manicure and my beverage.
Off to get an ice pack for my knee.
It's a snowglobe up in Rangeley today ❤️
January 1, 2026 at 3:22 PM
It's a snowglobe up in Rangeley today ❤️