Tim Melody Pratt
@timpratt.org
Writer and editor. Loser of Nebula, World Fantasy, Dick, and Stoker Awards (won a Hugo tho). Been published in Best American Short Stories AND Best American Erotica. Genderfluid. Any pronouns
I publish a new story monthly at www.patreon.com/timpratt (ooh)
I publish a new story monthly at www.patreon.com/timpratt (ooh)
if your turkey comes out dry just cook it upside down for the first two hours and then flip it for the last bit. (Easier if your bird is under 20 pounds, admittedly)
Downside is you won't have a perfect centerpiece-looking bird as the skin tends to tear but who cares, I serve the meat on a platter
Downside is you won't have a perfect centerpiece-looking bird as the skin tends to tear but who cares, I serve the meat on a platter
November 23, 2025 at 9:34 PM
if your turkey comes out dry just cook it upside down for the first two hours and then flip it for the last bit. (Easier if your bird is under 20 pounds, admittedly)
Downside is you won't have a perfect centerpiece-looking bird as the skin tends to tear but who cares, I serve the meat on a platter
Downside is you won't have a perfect centerpiece-looking bird as the skin tends to tear but who cares, I serve the meat on a platter
lol there are no movies set where I'm from, "roughly the middle of a soybean field" is not a compelling setting
November 23, 2025 at 9:31 PM
lol there are no movies set where I'm from, "roughly the middle of a soybean field" is not a compelling setting
those following along at home may recall that yesterday I opened the document with the developmental edits
today, I have looked to see how many comments there are from my editor!
we are charging forward into a glorious future
today, I have looked to see how many comments there are from my editor!
we are charging forward into a glorious future
November 23, 2025 at 8:45 PM
those following along at home may recall that yesterday I opened the document with the developmental edits
today, I have looked to see how many comments there are from my editor!
we are charging forward into a glorious future
today, I have looked to see how many comments there are from my editor!
we are charging forward into a glorious future
She would've been a good woman, said The Misfit, if it had been somebody there to hit her with a briefcase full of bees every minute of her life
All great stories share one special ingredient. Epic Fantasy? Steamy Romance? Hard SciFi? Look carefully and you'll find it: someone getting hit with a briefcase full of bees.
November 23, 2025 at 6:14 PM
She would've been a good woman, said The Misfit, if it had been somebody there to hit her with a briefcase full of bees every minute of her life
I have no idea what this sign means but I improved it
November 23, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I have no idea what this sign means but I improved it
Learned to read at age five. Read a bunch of books. Around age 7 I realized they were written by people, and weren’t just naturally occurring objects like rocks or trees. From there the goal was obvious
November 22, 2025 at 11:11 PM
Learned to read at age five. Read a bunch of books. Around age 7 I realized they were written by people, and weren’t just naturally occurring objects like rocks or trees. From there the goal was obvious
Reposted by Tim Melody Pratt
holy fuck the trans colors milk shake shirt is the most bimbocore shit thrift find ever
November 22, 2025 at 10:27 PM
holy fuck the trans colors milk shake shirt is the most bimbocore shit thrift find ever
Reposted by Tim Melody Pratt
If you have been sharing that Malwarebytes article on the Gmail thing, you should note the giant correction up top.
www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/20...
www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/20...
November 22, 2025 at 9:44 PM
If you have been sharing that Malwarebytes article on the Gmail thing, you should note the giant correction up top.
www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/20...
www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/20...
Reposted by Tim Melody Pratt
Tired: One night stand
Wired: FOMOsexuality
Wired: FOMOsexuality
November 22, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Tired: One night stand
Wired: FOMOsexuality
Wired: FOMOsexuality
my most basic bitch coded quality is being an unabashed christmas girlie (culturally, atheist style, I like music food togetherness lights fire sparkly things TV specials booze and gifts)
I am currently listening to Snoop Dogg and Anna Kendrick's duet of "Winter Wonderland" and could not be happier
I am currently listening to Snoop Dogg and Anna Kendrick's duet of "Winter Wonderland" and could not be happier
November 22, 2025 at 8:31 PM
my most basic bitch coded quality is being an unabashed christmas girlie (culturally, atheist style, I like music food togetherness lights fire sparkly things TV specials booze and gifts)
I am currently listening to Snoop Dogg and Anna Kendrick's duet of "Winter Wonderland" and could not be happier
I am currently listening to Snoop Dogg and Anna Kendrick's duet of "Winter Wonderland" and could not be happier
Went to the fancy neighborhood bar (which stands on the site of the late lamented divey neighborhood karaoke bar) and enjoyed the hell out of a bougie cocktail
November 22, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Went to the fancy neighborhood bar (which stands on the site of the late lamented divey neighborhood karaoke bar) and enjoyed the hell out of a bougie cocktail
I can draft fiction at the keyboard but have to write poetry by hand first, let a million flowers bloom etc
Having gotten my start writing fiction on a manual typewriter as a kid (and having an electric into college), I LOVE writing fiction on computers though
Having gotten my start writing fiction on a manual typewriter as a kid (and having an electric into college), I LOVE writing fiction on computers though
I know a number of writers who draft in pen and I consider them like I would someone who insists on making bread by first planting the wheat
And if you're already quite mad, like Neal Stephenson, you might write upwards of 3500 pages with a fountain pen.
November 22, 2025 at 8:00 PM
I can draft fiction at the keyboard but have to write poetry by hand first, let a million flowers bloom etc
Having gotten my start writing fiction on a manual typewriter as a kid (and having an electric into college), I LOVE writing fiction on computers though
Having gotten my start writing fiction on a manual typewriter as a kid (and having an electric into college), I LOVE writing fiction on computers though
I opened the word file with the developmental edits
please clap
I haven't actually looked at any of the edits but still
please clap
I haven't actually looked at any of the edits but still
November 22, 2025 at 7:48 PM
I opened the word file with the developmental edits
please clap
I haven't actually looked at any of the edits but still
please clap
I haven't actually looked at any of the edits but still
cultural literacy is dead
November 22, 2025 at 7:26 PM
cultural literacy is dead
Reposted by Tim Melody Pratt
the baby (17 months) raised both her hands and said “WEADY?” so I said “ready!” and then she slapped me in the face
November 22, 2025 at 2:53 PM
the baby (17 months) raised both her hands and said “WEADY?” so I said “ready!” and then she slapped me in the face
My secrets to making Thanksgiving great:
1) I only invite people I actually want to see and talk to
2) I learned how to properly prepare a turkey
That’s it. I encourage others to try these life hacks
1) I only invite people I actually want to see and talk to
2) I learned how to properly prepare a turkey
That’s it. I encourage others to try these life hacks
November 22, 2025 at 5:29 PM
My secrets to making Thanksgiving great:
1) I only invite people I actually want to see and talk to
2) I learned how to properly prepare a turkey
That’s it. I encourage others to try these life hacks
1) I only invite people I actually want to see and talk to
2) I learned how to properly prepare a turkey
That’s it. I encourage others to try these life hacks
He’s a 2 but he owns 700 old comic books
November 22, 2025 at 5:23 PM
He’s a 2 but he owns 700 old comic books
I already had that so what do *I* get
just pushed the button that gives everyone everything they ever wanted
November 22, 2025 at 12:32 AM
I already had that so what do *I* get
Reposted by Tim Melody Pratt
When pregnant woman boarded a subway car, 38% of the time someone offered her a seat. If someone dressed as Batman was also in the car it rose to 68%.
phys.org/news/2025-11...
phys.org/news/2025-11...
The Batman effect: The mere sight of the 'superhero' can make us more altruistic
If "Batman" appears on the scene, we immediately become more altruistic: in fact, research conducted by psychologists from the Università Cattolica del Sacro Cuore, Milan, shows that the sudden appear...
phys.org
November 21, 2025 at 4:34 PM
When pregnant woman boarded a subway car, 38% of the time someone offered her a seat. If someone dressed as Batman was also in the car it rose to 68%.
phys.org/news/2025-11...
phys.org/news/2025-11...
god let’s hope not
November 21, 2025 at 6:09 PM
god let’s hope not
I watched most of the new Frankenstein the other night and it's pretty but good lord who has the time, I'll get to that last 45 minutes eventually
November 21, 2025 at 4:46 PM
I watched most of the new Frankenstein the other night and it's pretty but good lord who has the time, I'll get to that last 45 minutes eventually
bed, pillow, pillowcase, sheets, little blanket, big blanket, room to put bed in, laudanum
reaching stick, pants zipper-upper robot, butler whose only job is to get you a cotton pad when you're doing skincare, bamboo that grows exactly fast enough to turn on the light switch every morning, guy to cut back the bamboo at night, overnight oats from the store
November 21, 2025 at 4:24 PM
bed, pillow, pillowcase, sheets, little blanket, big blanket, room to put bed in, laudanum
Yesterday I drafted a whole short story, walked a few miles, saw a matinee of a very mid film (The Running Man), won a couple games of Balatro, and got the Wordle in two. Heights of achievement undreamt of by the conquerors of old frankly
November 21, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Yesterday I drafted a whole short story, walked a few miles, saw a matinee of a very mid film (The Running Man), won a couple games of Balatro, and got the Wordle in two. Heights of achievement undreamt of by the conquerors of old frankly
I don’t believe in ghosts but I’ve only seen two of them (plus one alien or possibly supernatural visitation but that was like 27 years ago)
do you believe in ghosts or are you like me, a person who finds themself saying all the time “I absolutely don’t believe in ghosts, but this place has ghosts.”
November 21, 2025 at 1:53 AM
I don’t believe in ghosts but I’ve only seen two of them (plus one alien or possibly supernatural visitation but that was like 27 years ago)