Todd Alcott
@toddalcott.bsky.social
Graphic artist, erstwhile screenwriter, dude with cats
Fun fact: the bologna company Oscar Mayer was named after this child's imaginary friend, who believed his bologna had a first and second name. Why the boy suffered from this delusion remains unknown.
February 13, 2026 at 7:56 PM
Fun fact: the bologna company Oscar Mayer was named after this child's imaginary friend, who believed his bologna had a first and second name. Why the boy suffered from this delusion remains unknown.
I would say that this is an illustration of the face I present to the world and who I am inside, but I never leave the house.
February 13, 2026 at 5:44 PM
I would say that this is an illustration of the face I present to the world and who I am inside, but I never leave the house.
Watching Crime 101, my primary thought was that I really need to see Mark Ruffalo play Columbo. If there's any way I can facilitate that happening, please let me know.
February 13, 2026 at 10:06 AM
Watching Crime 101, my primary thought was that I really need to see Mark Ruffalo play Columbo. If there's any way I can facilitate that happening, please let me know.
IDEA FOR AN INSTRUMENT: a butt-plug that is also a slide-whistle
February 12, 2026 at 7:47 PM
IDEA FOR AN INSTRUMENT: a butt-plug that is also a slide-whistle
Reposted by Todd Alcott
No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor
February 11, 2026 at 1:46 AM
No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor
"These Gestapo officers need to be properly trained!" Chuck Schumer, 1936
February 11, 2026 at 4:53 PM
"These Gestapo officers need to be properly trained!" Chuck Schumer, 1936
I was watching a piece on the Bad Bunny halftime show, and they mentioned that, alongside of its cultural significance, it proved one single hard, dry fact: Bad Bunny is more popular than Donald Trump.
February 10, 2026 at 10:45 PM
I was watching a piece on the Bad Bunny halftime show, and they mentioned that, alongside of its cultural significance, it proved one single hard, dry fact: Bad Bunny is more popular than Donald Trump.
I like to stay at the shallow end of the conspiracy pool, for the simple reason that the amoral thugs running the government are too stupid, venal and short-sighted to have had some kind of all-encompassing sure-fire day-one plan...
February 10, 2026 at 5:00 PM
I like to stay at the shallow end of the conspiracy pool, for the simple reason that the amoral thugs running the government are too stupid, venal and short-sighted to have had some kind of all-encompassing sure-fire day-one plan...
CARTOON: There's a hill, but the hill is made out of thousands of multi-colored giraffe plushies, mixed together with acres of writhing squid tentacles. There's a dead guy at the top of the hill. Two guys in the foreground. One guy says "Weird hill to die on, but whatever."
February 10, 2026 at 12:41 PM
CARTOON: There's a hill, but the hill is made out of thousands of multi-colored giraffe plushies, mixed together with acres of writhing squid tentacles. There's a dead guy at the top of the hill. Two guys in the foreground. One guy says "Weird hill to die on, but whatever."
The only satisfying ending to all this is if Trump tears his face off and it turns out he was Sacha Baron Cohen the whole time.
February 9, 2026 at 1:52 PM
The only satisfying ending to all this is if Trump tears his face off and it turns out he was Sacha Baron Cohen the whole time.
The only Wuthering Heights adaptation I recognize: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIME...
Semaphore Version of Wuthering Heights
YouTube video by Kvetch Hell
www.youtube.com
February 9, 2026 at 9:49 AM
The only Wuthering Heights adaptation I recognize: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIME...
I don't want to nitpick, but shouldn't Wil Wheaton have turned into Richard Dreyfuss by now?
February 9, 2026 at 8:04 AM
I don't want to nitpick, but shouldn't Wil Wheaton have turned into Richard Dreyfuss by now?
You know, it’s easy to say that Donald Trump is the reason everything is terrible. Super easy. Pretty obvious, really.
February 8, 2026 at 1:06 PM
You know, it’s easy to say that Donald Trump is the reason everything is terrible. Super easy. Pretty obvious, really.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
ICE.
FUCK YOU, GET OFF MY PORCH! [blows whistle furiously]
Who's there?
ICE.
FUCK YOU, GET OFF MY PORCH! [blows whistle furiously]
February 8, 2026 at 7:08 AM
Knock knock.
Who's there?
ICE.
FUCK YOU, GET OFF MY PORCH! [blows whistle furiously]
Who's there?
ICE.
FUCK YOU, GET OFF MY PORCH! [blows whistle furiously]
I notice that @washingtonpost.com have subtly changed their slogan to "Democracy Dies in Darkness, See?"
February 8, 2026 at 5:46 AM
I notice that @washingtonpost.com have subtly changed their slogan to "Democracy Dies in Darkness, See?"
But if we prosecute everyone in the Epstein files, who will go on the Sunday shows?
February 7, 2026 at 4:00 AM
But if we prosecute everyone in the Epstein files, who will go on the Sunday shows?
Wow, ANOTHER pedophile I once wrote a script for. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the key to this whole thing after all.
variety.com/2026/film/ne...
variety.com/2026/film/ne...
Jeffrey Epstein’s Ties to ‘Bones’ Producer Barry Josephson Revealed: Set Visits, Auditions and ‘Overwhelming’ Friendship
Jeffrey Epstein's long friendship with 'Bones' producer Barry Josephson is revealed a massive trove of emails released by the Justice Department.
variety.com
February 6, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Wow, ANOTHER pedophile I once wrote a script for. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the key to this whole thing after all.
variety.com/2026/film/ne...
variety.com/2026/film/ne...
At this point, the most unbelievable thing about Civil War (2024) is the idea that media companies would fund the efforts of combat journalists instead of just lapping up whatever the illegal president says.
February 6, 2026 at 9:43 AM
At this point, the most unbelievable thing about Civil War (2024) is the idea that media companies would fund the efforts of combat journalists instead of just lapping up whatever the illegal president says.
I wonder, is it good or bad for the economy if everyone is angry and terrified all the time?
February 6, 2026 at 8:16 AM
I wonder, is it good or bad for the economy if everyone is angry and terrified all the time?
Kind of weird that the Michael Jordan of acting is also named Michael Jordan
February 6, 2026 at 5:55 AM
Kind of weird that the Michael Jordan of acting is also named Michael Jordan
HEMINGWAY: [sidles up to me at the bar] Ask not for whom the bell tolls.
ME: 'kay.
(long pause)
HEMINGWAY: It tolls for thee.
ME: Didn't ask.
ME: 'kay.
(long pause)
HEMINGWAY: It tolls for thee.
ME: Didn't ask.
February 5, 2026 at 2:44 AM
HEMINGWAY: [sidles up to me at the bar] Ask not for whom the bell tolls.
ME: 'kay.
(long pause)
HEMINGWAY: It tolls for thee.
ME: Didn't ask.
ME: 'kay.
(long pause)
HEMINGWAY: It tolls for thee.
ME: Didn't ask.