eli nova rose
@unambivalence.bsky.social
feminist utopian. doing software. writing about life. wistful about reflexivity. ex-academic. she/her/dr 🏳️⚧️
Pinned
eli nova rose
@unambivalence.bsky.social
· Nov 16
i do remember the flowers
writing about femininity, parenting, drifting
i-do-remember-the-flowers.decasia.org
here's a thread about some things i've written.
this year i finished a little book of prose poems about parenting, drifting, having a gender transition, etc:
i-do-remember-the-flowers.decasia.org
this year i finished a little book of prose poems about parenting, drifting, having a gender transition, etc:
i-do-remember-the-flowers.decasia.org
“what end of life guidance would you leave for your partner if you were in a coma and also carrying a nonviable pregnancy?”
…surreal questions they asked me at the lawyer’s office today
…surreal questions they asked me at the lawyer’s office today
December 19, 2025 at 1:15 AM
“what end of life guidance would you leave for your partner if you were in a coma and also carrying a nonviable pregnancy?”
…surreal questions they asked me at the lawyer’s office today
…surreal questions they asked me at the lawyer’s office today
I enjoyed this formulation: "The cutesy language flows in one direction only. Your compliance is demanded in the language of contracts; their failures are communicated in the language of the nursery."
www.joanwestenberg.com/uh-oh-the-in...
www.joanwestenberg.com/uh-oh-the-in...
Uh Oh! The Infantilization of Failure
When apps fail, when software breaks, you'll likely encounter a message constructed from a specific vocabulary: "Oops!" "Uh oh!" "Whoops!"
Sometimes you'll get the full nursery treatment: an "Oopsie-...
www.joanwestenberg.com
December 17, 2025 at 1:30 AM
I enjoyed this formulation: "The cutesy language flows in one direction only. Your compliance is demanded in the language of contracts; their failures are communicated in the language of the nursery."
www.joanwestenberg.com/uh-oh-the-in...
www.joanwestenberg.com/uh-oh-the-in...
“That said, there is A LOT of illness spreading right now - flu, strep and everything in between!”
the first grade teacher wrote cheerfully
the first grade teacher wrote cheerfully
December 15, 2025 at 10:40 PM
“That said, there is A LOT of illness spreading right now - flu, strep and everything in between!”
the first grade teacher wrote cheerfully
the first grade teacher wrote cheerfully
baby pigs have very beautiful eyelashes.
December 13, 2025 at 9:14 PM
baby pigs have very beautiful eyelashes.
welcome to femininity in your 40s, says the mammogram order that my physician gave me today, or seems to say…
it’s funny how something can be so banal and yet also a little bit surreal and disheveling and slightly anxiogenic and like a bundle of vaguely confusing things.
it’s funny how something can be so banal and yet also a little bit surreal and disheveling and slightly anxiogenic and like a bundle of vaguely confusing things.
December 12, 2025 at 12:47 AM
welcome to femininity in your 40s, says the mammogram order that my physician gave me today, or seems to say…
it’s funny how something can be so banal and yet also a little bit surreal and disheveling and slightly anxiogenic and like a bundle of vaguely confusing things.
it’s funny how something can be so banal and yet also a little bit surreal and disheveling and slightly anxiogenic and like a bundle of vaguely confusing things.
ok I'm trying to have a will (blah) and I just want to say I loathe this bit of legal boilerplate:
"Whenever required by the context of this Will, the singular
number shall include the plural, the plural the singular, and the
use of any gender shall include all genders."
"Whenever required by the context of this Will, the singular
number shall include the plural, the plural the singular, and the
use of any gender shall include all genders."
December 5, 2025 at 9:03 PM
ok I'm trying to have a will (blah) and I just want to say I loathe this bit of legal boilerplate:
"Whenever required by the context of this Will, the singular
number shall include the plural, the plural the singular, and the
use of any gender shall include all genders."
"Whenever required by the context of this Will, the singular
number shall include the plural, the plural the singular, and the
use of any gender shall include all genders."
an adorable toddler on an airplane is yelling loudly at the snow falling heavily through the window:
“I LIKE SNOW. MAMA! DADA! LOOK!”
after a brief pause:
“KEEP LOOKING!”
“I LIKE SNOW. MAMA! DADA! LOOK!”
after a brief pause:
“KEEP LOOKING!”
December 4, 2025 at 5:48 PM
an adorable toddler on an airplane is yelling loudly at the snow falling heavily through the window:
“I LIKE SNOW. MAMA! DADA! LOOK!”
after a brief pause:
“KEEP LOOKING!”
“I LIKE SNOW. MAMA! DADA! LOOK!”
after a brief pause:
“KEEP LOOKING!”
“I never cry when I’m sad; at those times I just pinch down into a miniature version of myself like an ailing turtle trundling off into the forest to die alone.”
(confessions of the fox)
(confessions of the fox)
December 2, 2025 at 1:15 PM
“I never cry when I’m sad; at those times I just pinch down into a miniature version of myself like an ailing turtle trundling off into the forest to die alone.”
(confessions of the fox)
(confessions of the fox)
“and the soft eyes softened”
(it’s just a tiny James Baldwin phrase that i liked)
(it’s just a tiny James Baldwin phrase that i liked)
November 27, 2025 at 12:20 AM
“and the soft eyes softened”
(it’s just a tiny James Baldwin phrase that i liked)
(it’s just a tiny James Baldwin phrase that i liked)
in the department of obscure indie films, we just watched Chestnut (2023), a film about a bi woman in her early 20s drifting through a summer, getting awkwardly attached to the wrong people, being very open to life but also almost diffident about it, having a lot of both composure and confusion.
November 23, 2025 at 1:05 PM
in the department of obscure indie films, we just watched Chestnut (2023), a film about a bi woman in her early 20s drifting through a summer, getting awkwardly attached to the wrong people, being very open to life but also almost diffident about it, having a lot of both composure and confusion.
sometimes i look at our yard in November and it feels like those fairy tales where you are condemned to spend the night doing some impossible sorting or cleaning task, or else suffer some awful consequence
November 22, 2025 at 4:44 PM
sometimes i look at our yard in November and it feels like those fairy tales where you are condemned to spend the night doing some impossible sorting or cleaning task, or else suffer some awful consequence
i wrote a little bit about therapy and emotional capitalism for this forum my partner organized:
www.madinamerica.com/2025/10/ther...
www.madinamerica.com/2025/10/ther...
There’s No Escape From the World
There’s always an economic transaction underneath. When the business stops working out, the therapy is apt to end.
www.madinamerica.com
November 8, 2025 at 1:11 PM
i wrote a little bit about therapy and emotional capitalism for this forum my partner organized:
www.madinamerica.com/2025/10/ther...
www.madinamerica.com/2025/10/ther...
it’s funny how certain femme bodies are sometimes called “willowy” and now i’m wondering if masc bodies are ever likened to tree forms (oaken? piney? walnut?)
November 6, 2025 at 10:13 PM
it’s funny how certain femme bodies are sometimes called “willowy” and now i’m wondering if masc bodies are ever likened to tree forms (oaken? piney? walnut?)
does anyone else find that typing on a phone is ok for basic everyday statements like “fml I’m so tired” or simple questions “when will you be home?” but that somehow it’s v. hard to write anything long and thoughtful in this input format?
when i pick up a pen and a paper notebook it’s different.
when i pick up a pen and a paper notebook it’s different.
November 2, 2025 at 8:56 PM
does anyone else find that typing on a phone is ok for basic everyday statements like “fml I’m so tired” or simple questions “when will you be home?” but that somehow it’s v. hard to write anything long and thoughtful in this input format?
when i pick up a pen and a paper notebook it’s different.
when i pick up a pen and a paper notebook it’s different.
my neighbors put this in their front lawn
October 30, 2025 at 1:49 AM
my neighbors put this in their front lawn
a thing about caretaking without reciprocity…
“I don’t read them [=stepkids] my own poems or share my own stories. I am realizing that I can go with them into their world without needing them to come into mine.”
(Ariel Leve, An Abbreviated Life)
“I don’t read them [=stepkids] my own poems or share my own stories. I am realizing that I can go with them into their world without needing them to come into mine.”
(Ariel Leve, An Abbreviated Life)
October 29, 2025 at 12:50 AM
a thing about caretaking without reciprocity…
“I don’t read them [=stepkids] my own poems or share my own stories. I am realizing that I can go with them into their world without needing them to come into mine.”
(Ariel Leve, An Abbreviated Life)
“I don’t read them [=stepkids] my own poems or share my own stories. I am realizing that I can go with them into their world without needing them to come into mine.”
(Ariel Leve, An Abbreviated Life)
last year i brought my electric organ outside and played spooky music to the passing trick-or-treaters, and this year it occurred to me that i could repeat the experiment with a more specific theme: lullabies for the dead.
October 27, 2025 at 2:45 AM
last year i brought my electric organ outside and played spooky music to the passing trick-or-treaters, and this year it occurred to me that i could repeat the experiment with a more specific theme: lullabies for the dead.
I’m reading this stretch of bookshelf as meaning that The 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work are Cruel Optimism, Black Trans Feminism, Transgender Marxism, Females, Desire/Love, the Female Complaint and A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
October 25, 2025 at 2:20 PM
I’m reading this stretch of bookshelf as meaning that The 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work are Cruel Optimism, Black Trans Feminism, Transgender Marxism, Females, Desire/Love, the Female Complaint and A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
6yo spent most of the last 12 hours loudly groaning, lamenting, honestly whining, decrying, deploring, and generally being completely against absolutely everything about the world around him. everything bugs him. even things that are arguably going fine.
i am starting to lose my mind.
i am starting to lose my mind.
October 12, 2025 at 11:44 PM
6yo spent most of the last 12 hours loudly groaning, lamenting, honestly whining, decrying, deploring, and generally being completely against absolutely everything about the world around him. everything bugs him. even things that are arguably going fine.
i am starting to lose my mind.
i am starting to lose my mind.
i woke up today feeling certain that it was a weekend and then realized it was friday, but our kids have a random day off school so idk how i'm going to do 3 hours of meetings…
October 10, 2025 at 11:38 AM
i woke up today feeling certain that it was a weekend and then realized it was friday, but our kids have a random day off school so idk how i'm going to do 3 hours of meetings…
alexa: "if you want, you can say: i have feedback."
6yo: "alexa, i have feedback."
alexa: "ok, what is your feedback?"
6yo: "alexa, you're stupid."
alexa: (various words)
6yo: "alexa, what's feedback?"
6yo: "alexa, i have feedback."
alexa: "ok, what is your feedback?"
6yo: "alexa, you're stupid."
alexa: (various words)
6yo: "alexa, what's feedback?"
October 5, 2025 at 12:56 PM
alexa: "if you want, you can say: i have feedback."
6yo: "alexa, i have feedback."
alexa: "ok, what is your feedback?"
6yo: "alexa, you're stupid."
alexa: (various words)
6yo: "alexa, what's feedback?"
6yo: "alexa, i have feedback."
alexa: "ok, what is your feedback?"
6yo: "alexa, you're stupid."
alexa: (various words)
6yo: "alexa, what's feedback?"
there is a tuba player randomly wandering around the graveyard at sunset playing aimless little tuba riffs.
October 2, 2025 at 10:34 PM
there is a tuba player randomly wandering around the graveyard at sunset playing aimless little tuba riffs.
the biggest euphoria lately is going for long bike rides and probably by 30 minutes into it my body is happy and it feels like flying and then afterwards i feel glowing for a little while
September 19, 2025 at 3:56 PM
the biggest euphoria lately is going for long bike rides and probably by 30 minutes into it my body is happy and it feels like flying and then afterwards i feel glowing for a little while
amazing trans question of the week: do i count as female for life insurance purposes?
context: life insurance is less expensive for women.
context: life insurance is less expensive for women.
September 18, 2025 at 8:32 PM
amazing trans question of the week: do i count as female for life insurance purposes?
context: life insurance is less expensive for women.
context: life insurance is less expensive for women.