Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 1d

Other countries that aren’t bribing me? “Shitholes”

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 1d

Portland: “Hellhole”
Chicago: “Hellhole”
Los Angeles: “Hellhole”
New York: “Hellhole”
Mar-A-segregated golf club trafficking minors-Lago: “Beautiful”

1 2 2

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 3d

NIMBYs: 1) Why don’t you go build the homeless shelter near the homeless people’s houses instead of near my house? 2) Please hurry up and do something about all the homeless people in and around my neighborhood.

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 10d

The royal patrons behind 9/11 and the butchers of Jamal Khashoggi were right there! Talk about squandering a comeback.

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 10d

If the Riyadh Comedy Festival has taught us anything, it’s that Louis C.K. still hasn’t learned the difference between the right and wrong time and place to pull out a shriveled dick and start masturbating in front of people trapped in the room with him.

1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 12d

The @nytimes.com Pips game today is a butt plug.

1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 18d

Guess they were saving it for a special occasion

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 21d

Presumably—after the unforgettable conclusion to the study of Tylenol’s sans-causal link to autism—the HHS can finally focus its vast tax-funded resources on if mayonnaise is an instrument.

1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · 27d

If a political assassination happens in the woods but no one filmed it, does it matter?

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Sep 9

People are harshly criticizing the president’s birthday card drawing to his pedophile best friend, but people do need to give him credit for capturing Ivanka’s likeness so well from memory

1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Sep 9

The rest of the world watching US news has to be like me watching a Netflix documentary about a secluded religious/personality cults. Take any of them. Not a single episode in before you’re screaming—“Why can’t you all tell you’re in a cult and that your leader just wants to fuck your kids?!”

1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Sep 9

Outcomes that shouldn’t come from the SCOTUS shadow docket:

“Zeigen Sie mir Ihre Papiere!”

(Your papers, please)

1 1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Sep 8

Like the Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad, but it’s the Pope in Chicago sprinkling Malort over ICE like it’s holy water. Saves America.

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Sep 7

Hopefully it’s of no consequence. No one wants a coddled championship.

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Sep 5

Please let it be y’all getting to take ownership of Infowars.

2

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Sep 2

How soon is too soon to be pumped for Taylor’s divorce album?

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Aug 29

Nico does the role of smug commentator better

1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Aug 29

It’s called stacking! Other teams will have proven talents now—but we will maybe have more talents in the near future. But we don’t stop there. We trade next year’s maybe talents for even more next decade maybe talents! That’s a whole future team of maybe the greatest that will ever play the game.

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Aug 29

Upset Cowboys fans are confused:
The entire point of having a young bona fide all-pro talent on your team is so you can trade them away for a chance to possibly draft such a talent in the future, whom one day may possibly prove themselves as worthy of being traded for even more draft picks.

1 1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Aug 15

If you haven’t read a history book and are are thinking about trying it out now—maybe reconsider if it covers the last hundred years—not going to have a good time starting one

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Aug 15

Fuck, it sucks having read a history book about now

1

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Aug 5

Which microplastic is best to ingest for joint health?

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Aug 5

How did DPAs & NPAs get an episode feature on @lastweektonight.com with no mention of the out-of-place (typically used for business) and lopsided NPA that Alan Derschowitz got Epstein?

Vapid Chuckles @vapidchuckles.bsky.social · Jul 21

Now is the time to reach out to your estranged QAnon family members and ask them to pray for the release of the Epstein files.

Reposted by Vapid Chuckles

5-4 Podcast @fivefourpod.bsky.social · Jul 14

they're calling it history's most vindicated podcast

19 210 2K