Mark
@vbloke.com
I can make birds suddenly appear every time you are near. £10/hour.
He/Him
Never stop punching nazis.
He/Him
Never stop punching nazis.
Pinned
TIL that traditionally, straight croissants are made with pure butter and curved croissants are made with margarine or other, cheaper fats and usually given to children.
November 30, 2025 at 9:48 PM
TIL that traditionally, straight croissants are made with pure butter and curved croissants are made with margarine or other, cheaper fats and usually given to children.
The three best TV personalities of the last decade.
November 30, 2025 at 7:03 PM
The three best TV personalities of the last decade.
As November comes to an end, and December is about to begin, let us not forget:
Fuck Brexit
Fuck Reform
Fuck Trump
Fuck Putin
Fuck TERFs
Fuck Brexit
Fuck Reform
Fuck Trump
Fuck Putin
Fuck TERFs
November 30, 2025 at 4:19 PM
As November comes to an end, and December is about to begin, let us not forget:
Fuck Brexit
Fuck Reform
Fuck Trump
Fuck Putin
Fuck TERFs
Fuck Brexit
Fuck Reform
Fuck Trump
Fuck Putin
Fuck TERFs
Did you know there’s a WWII air raid siren in Lewisham?
Now you do.
Now you do.
November 30, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Did you know there’s a WWII air raid siren in Lewisham?
Now you do.
Now you do.
Oh, no, no, no, you're a smart guy, clearly picked up some flashy tricks, but you made one crucial mistake. You forgot about the essence of the game. It's about the cones.
November 29, 2025 at 5:51 PM
Oh, no, no, no, you're a smart guy, clearly picked up some flashy tricks, but you made one crucial mistake. You forgot about the essence of the game. It's about the cones.
It has been said before, but it bears repeating:
Burgers should be wider, not taller.
I don’t want to have to dislocate my jaw like a snake to eat a burger.
Burgers should be wider, not taller.
I don’t want to have to dislocate my jaw like a snake to eat a burger.
November 29, 2025 at 4:00 PM
It has been said before, but it bears repeating:
Burgers should be wider, not taller.
I don’t want to have to dislocate my jaw like a snake to eat a burger.
Burgers should be wider, not taller.
I don’t want to have to dislocate my jaw like a snake to eat a burger.
Awesome!
Pantomime horse race in Greenwich.
Sunday 14th December at 1pm.
Pantomime horse race in Greenwich.
Sunday 14th December at 1pm.
November 28, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Awesome!
Pantomime horse race in Greenwich.
Sunday 14th December at 1pm.
Pantomime horse race in Greenwich.
Sunday 14th December at 1pm.
Saw this advertised and my first thought was Bra’tak getting a good night’s sleep. Jaffa, kree!
November 28, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Saw this advertised and my first thought was Bra’tak getting a good night’s sleep. Jaffa, kree!
How many Reform UK supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they prefer being gaslit.
None, they prefer being gaslit.
November 28, 2025 at 12:07 PM
How many Reform UK supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they prefer being gaslit.
None, they prefer being gaslit.
Brown envelope from HMRC landed on the doorstep today to tell me I have a £208 rebate on the way. Nice.
November 28, 2025 at 11:48 AM
Brown envelope from HMRC landed on the doorstep today to tell me I have a £208 rebate on the way. Nice.
Thanks to the NFT boom of a few years ago, there is now a massive funge mountain that we can’t do anything with and is poisoning local water tables.
November 28, 2025 at 9:24 AM
Thanks to the NFT boom of a few years ago, there is now a massive funge mountain that we can’t do anything with and is poisoning local water tables.
Funny how all the papers that praise the Truss/Kwarteng budget that opened up the financial black hole are the ones lambasting this Starmer/Reeves one.
November 27, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Funny how all the papers that praise the Truss/Kwarteng budget that opened up the financial black hole are the ones lambasting this Starmer/Reeves one.
If you see a tiny and marginalised segment of society who’s lives are already difficult, and your first thought is “how can I make their lives harder, borderline impossible to live”, then you deserve what you wish upon them.
November 27, 2025 at 10:31 AM
If you see a tiny and marginalised segment of society who’s lives are already difficult, and your first thought is “how can I make their lives harder, borderline impossible to live”, then you deserve what you wish upon them.
Ricky Gervais is what happens when you never grow out of the “you think you’re right about everything” stage of early childhood.
November 25, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Ricky Gervais is what happens when you never grow out of the “you think you’re right about everything” stage of early childhood.
The office thermostat is set to 22.5, can’t be adjusted, and I am melting.
November 25, 2025 at 3:45 PM
The office thermostat is set to 22.5, can’t be adjusted, and I am melting.
Tip waste: jail.
Assault, harass and stalk a child for years: slap on the wrist.
Assault, harass and stalk a child for years: slap on the wrist.
November 25, 2025 at 2:49 PM
Tip waste: jail.
Assault, harass and stalk a child for years: slap on the wrist.
Assault, harass and stalk a child for years: slap on the wrist.
Freshly squeezed fruit juices have more sugar than coke.
Drinkable yoghurts have more sugar than coke.
Where is the tax on these?
Leave my milkshakes alone.
Artificial sweeteners taste fucking vile.
Drinkable yoghurts have more sugar than coke.
Where is the tax on these?
Leave my milkshakes alone.
Artificial sweeteners taste fucking vile.
November 25, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Freshly squeezed fruit juices have more sugar than coke.
Drinkable yoghurts have more sugar than coke.
Where is the tax on these?
Leave my milkshakes alone.
Artificial sweeteners taste fucking vile.
Drinkable yoghurts have more sugar than coke.
Where is the tax on these?
Leave my milkshakes alone.
Artificial sweeteners taste fucking vile.
I am also inordinately pleased that there is a good chance Cameron has had to have his bungherl zapped with radiation.
November 24, 2025 at 12:45 PM
I am also inordinately pleased that there is a good chance Cameron has had to have his bungherl zapped with radiation.
Who’d have thunk that most of these far-right “US patriot” and “UK patriot” Twitter accounts were actually based in Russia, India and Nigeria.
November 24, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Who’d have thunk that most of these far-right “US patriot” and “UK patriot” Twitter accounts were actually based in Russia, India and Nigeria.
Have just added a layer of sugar and brûlée’d it on top of a Bakewell Pudding.
November 23, 2025 at 3:35 PM
Have just added a layer of sugar and brûlée’d it on top of a Bakewell Pudding.
Enjoying the apricity in Greenwich Park on a chilly morning.
November 21, 2025 at 9:44 AM
Enjoying the apricity in Greenwich Park on a chilly morning.
In 1977, the City of London held a “Festival of Mild Panic,” during which citizens ran in circles for no particular reason.
It proved so popular, the tradition continued for 12 years until it stopped due to an outbreak of ennui in Farringdon.
It proved so popular, the tradition continued for 12 years until it stopped due to an outbreak of ennui in Farringdon.
November 20, 2025 at 5:37 PM
In 1977, the City of London held a “Festival of Mild Panic,” during which citizens ran in circles for no particular reason.
It proved so popular, the tradition continued for 12 years until it stopped due to an outbreak of ennui in Farringdon.
It proved so popular, the tradition continued for 12 years until it stopped due to an outbreak of ennui in Farringdon.
In 1689, Doctor Lionel Puddington accurately measured the speed of light using only a squirrel and a large spoon.
November 20, 2025 at 4:03 PM
In 1689, Doctor Lionel Puddington accurately measured the speed of light using only a squirrel and a large spoon.
Lord Percival Muffington III (1781–1844) patented the idea of disappointment, though historians argue it was actually discovered by Aristotle after a particularly bad olive.
November 20, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Lord Percival Muffington III (1781–1844) patented the idea of disappointment, though historians argue it was actually discovered by Aristotle after a particularly bad olive.