Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇

@velodus.bsky.social

16K followers 900 following 20K posts

Ahoy, congrats on living in just the precise way to land on my profile in this moment! I write stuff and have a mondo cool YT channel. ~ ▶️ 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲: youtube.com/velodus ⋆ 💸 𝗩𝗲𝗻𝗺𝗼: venmo.com/u/velodus ⋆ 🔗 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗲: https://linktr.ee/velodus ⋆

linktr.ee

Posts Media Videos Starter Packs

Pinned

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 5d

Oh hi! Did you know that I have a YouTube channel that I occasionally neglect for long stretches? Well I'm planning to start uploading stuff again, so if you dig me/are madly in love with me, you're welcome to subscribe to me there if you're chill and cool.

youtube.com/@velodus

2 14

Reposted by Joel Zombied 🎃🦇

I'm the Dude, man @cogecaetc.bsky.social · 19m

Dudes will keep signing Joe Flacco instead of going to therapy, my God

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 22m

The masculine urge to keep trying out Joe Flacco

1 9

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 22m

The masculine urge to keep trying out Joe Flacco

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 1h

Three quarters into their season, I was convinced the Ravens were the best team in the NFL. Oof.

1 8

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 2h

Congratulations to the next head coach of the Penn State football program: Ghislaine Maxwell

3 3 41

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 3h

Not to brag, but I threw for more passing yards than the Jets today

NFL Daily News @fantasynflnews.bsky.social · 4h

The Jets just gave up 9 sacks and drop to 0-6.

They had -10 net passing yards THE WHOLE GAME.

7 5 59

Reposted by Joel Zombied 🎃🦇

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 21d

The Jets are innovating how many different ways you can lose painfully in a single season

2 1 29

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 4h

In hell, all football games are like Jets-Broncos

3 20

Reposted by Joel Zombied 🎃🦇

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · Sep 17

Justin Fields' greatest attribute is that "Justin Fields" *sounds* like the name of someone who should be awesome at football.

2 4 26

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 15h

Grocery shopping Bart Simpson
financial advice in 1992
🤝
don't have a cow, man

Mark Chadbourn @chadbourn.bsky.social · 1d

US beef prices have now reached a record high.

2 25

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 17h

Ah, that's the best. It's like giving people a gift and finding out it's still getting used, it's awesome.

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 17h

Yeah sex is great but has anyone ever watched something because you recommended it and then told you that they really enjoyed it?

3 1 53

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 17h

Ahhhhh, you're a man of taste because that's exactly where I know this from too

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 17h

Cubs-Brewers Game 5

1 4 23

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 18h

There's now a 25% chance we could get a World Series between the Seattle Mariners and the Brewers, who were originally the Seattle Pilots

2 7 54

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 18h

*grumbles approvingly*

1 16

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 18h

Cooper Flagg highlights are upsetting if only because they make you realize Nico Harrison is gonna get away with it

2 10 44

Reposted by Joel Zombied 🎃🦇

lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 18h

Abner Uribe is the most pynchon character name baseball has seen in recent memory

9 13 280

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 20h

That is true, he's like a gateway to being British

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 21h

The lamestream media doesn't want you to know that Kelsey Grammar was the original voice of the Geico gecko. That's right sheeple, he wasn't even British at first.

2 11

Reposted by Joel Zombied 🎃🦇

Sasha's Retrobytes 🏳️‍⚧️ @sharkabytes.bsky.social · 22h

Taking a break between '97 Berserk anime episodes to check what related goodness there might be on one of the Minami anime/manga magazine CDROMs I regularly dig into, this time from the mid 2000s. As I hoped, Forces is in one of the musica sections. 🎶

11 20 130

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 1d

In the spirit of putting things out there, I would really love to land a full-time writing or social media job - one that ideally involves me doing as little as possible, of course - so on the off chance YOU or someone you know could really use a writer, feel free to DM me 🙂

7 27

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 1d

It's funny how MrBeast has a mammoth amount of subscribers and yet any time they add him to something irl - a movie, NFL game coverage, the NBA All-Star Game - it's had no quantifiable influence whatsoever.

Cosmic Marvel @dailycosmicmarvel.bsky.social · 1d

‘TRON: ARES’ has earned $14.3M in its opening day at the domestic box office.

For comparison, ‘MORBIUS’ opened to $17.3M.

6 2 52

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 1d

I had a joke lined up about libertarians being excited to see something reach 18 for the first time in their life if that game had gone to the 18th

2 24

Reposted by Joel Zombied 🎃🦇

Brian Schmid @schmanthonyp.bsky.social · 1d

The last time the Mariners played in an ALCS, they were still making Sega Dreamcast games.

3 14 62

Joel Zombied 🎃🦇 @velodus.bsky.social · 1d

I'm glad I didn't have to root for either team because that was fun as hell to watch

4 1 60