Author | Lightnews

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 1d

I read one book about the real story of the Great Escape and now Audible thinks I’m a boomer dad with a WWII special interest 😩

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 2d

all along I’ve been like “leave the young people alone! we millennials have suffered too much at the hands of older generations to now judge those younger than us!” but them deciding that 6-7 is peak comedy when the much funnier 69 is only two numbers away may break me.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 2d

Cotton On Body? uh okay, grass on ground. clouds in sky.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 2d

when someone posts in the community FB page like “found these keys at the plaza, DM me if they’re yours” instead of just handing them in to Lost and Found and moving on with their life, and you just know they don’t get to experience any other form of power or control in their everyday life.

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 2d

he’s a 10 but he pronounces Uno “you-no”.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 7d

me:

husband: Carrie from Sex and the City would love that place.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 9d

<< cut to talking head >>

Phil: now Richard, don’t look the wrong way at any Westies *humorous wide-eyed blinking to camera, crew laughing out of frame*

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 9d

Phil Rosenthal voice over: I don’t think anyone could be angry after tasting this porchetta focaccia so I’m taking my leftovers to Cronulla Beach, home of the 2005 Cronulla race riots…

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 11d

I gotta be honest, there’s little I trust less than the applause of Venice and Cannes audiences. you don’t have to tell me how many minutes a film got when you’re pitching it to me, that’s worth less than nothing.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 13d

when my phone autocorrects ‘apple’ to ‘Apple’.

meme screenshot of the Breakfast Club showing the character Brian with text reading “you’re so conceited, Claire. You’re so conceited” but Claire has been scribbled out and replaced with ‘Steve’

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 14d

I keep getting my eczema steroid cream in my eyes coz I have dryness around them and contrary to what you might assume, it’s not giving me jacked eyeballs.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 14d

hairdresser: do you like eating Asian food?

dude: aw I’m not much of an Asian food eater to be honest

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 14d

god save me from this guy next to me at the hairdresser who calls women “females” and says it’s harder for men to find love because fEmALeS are materialistic and don’t know how to handle peace when they find it because of the chaos in their past.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 14d

Update: she got fit during COVID. worth it!

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 14d

me, waiting for my turn at the hairdresser:

woman getting her hair done next to me: …in a weird way, COVID was a good thing…

me: 👀

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 14d

I think women need to get better at recognising which anecdotes about their husbands, while very funny in-jokes within the confines of the marriage where you both know each other very well, trust each other and know the tone they used etc., make them seem psychotic when viewed in a public forum.

IG post from Kristen Bell showing Dax Shepard hugging a child with the caption ‘happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: “I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I’m heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would.”’

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 15d

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 15d

something I think about a lot is David Arquette in Muppets From Space teasing the rats for not having opposable thumbs. I also like to lord my opposable thumbs over animals.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 17d

because I stand with him. #istandwithbarnowl

Screenshot of Amazon listing for Folkmanis Barn Owl finger puppet with disclaimer text reading “does not stand alone”

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 17d

funny story, this morning I was talking to a friendleague and mentioned I was interested in an exercise trampoline and she was like “every time I get on a trampoline now I’m like ‘oh god my pelvic floor!’”

is this the craziest instance of ‘my phone listens to my conversations’ ever or…?

Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 17d

hey Amazon….what?

screenshot of Amazon showing suggestion to buy an exercise trampoline and a packet of toilet paper together.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 19d

the most addictive substance known to man is someone sliding into your DMs like “I don’t want to start shit with your friends on main, but their comments are insane and you are on the objectively correct side of this issue.”

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 21d

what’s great about Is It Cake on Netflix is whenever I’m reminded of its existence I think “man I miss Nailed It”.

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 22d

me:

husband: *to the tune of Pretty Women from Sweeney Todd* Little Britain 🎶

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Don Chicks-Hottie @whyintheheck.bsky.social · 22d

me, alone in the house: up yours, woke moralists! we’ll see who cancels who!!