Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 4h

Hell yeah I appreciate it!

Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 5h

a man in a tank top says i 'm the in a bar

ALT: a man in a tank top says i 'm the in a bar

media.tenor.com

Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 6h

two men are arm wrestling each other in a gym .

ALT: two men are arm wrestling each other in a gym .

media.tenor.com

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 6h

Screw it, let's get this party started.

Welcome! | Zak's Planet of Garbage

www.patreon.com

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 7d

This looks like someone tried jumping the train tracks with a flux capacitor powered dirt-bike.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 10d

3 was an original script that called for a black lead character. The story makes a lot more sense with that in mind.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 10d

One of my favorite movie series also happens to be a spiral of increasingly insane karate stakes.

1-900-HOTDOG @1900hotdog.bsky.social · 10d

@zakkoonce.bsky.social brings you an epic tale of the increasingly insane Best of the Best movies. We love it so much, we set it FREE! 1900hotdog.com/2025/10/punc...

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 12d

Also, you would absolutely hate being in public around me and my expressive Ozone hat

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 12d

My war crime: just wanting to make silly little videos while still being able to afford to fix my teeth and also wanting the same for others. I must be stopped at all costs.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 16d

Hopefully it’ll be worth the wait!

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 17d

Working on a new project. Stay tuned.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 18d

Damn, 90 minutes? This is going to be a masterclass in White Chicks commentary.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 19d

Bad news. The rapture did actually happen and if you’re reading this, you’re a piece of fucking shit.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 21d

Our family car growing up was the Ford Pinto model that was recalled for being a self destruct button on wheels, and realizing how little my life meant in the name of saving a buck is probably where a lot of my jokes come from.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 24d

Me listening to Borderlands 4 quest givers doing unskippable peepee and poopoo material when all I want is XP and new guns.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 26d

Clown rules I don’t care what RT says

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · 26d

One of the best thing I ever wrote was about Robert Redford’s nipples. Rest in peace, king.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · Sep 12

Also patiently waiting for @jasonkpargin.bsky.social to make a TikTok explaining what a groyper is so my search engine stays pure and my algorithm can keep being nothing but my own pornographic preferences.

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Zak Koonce @zakkoonce.bsky.social · Sep 12

Patiently waiting for all the “YOU’RE PLAYING THIS GAME THAT CAME OUT 12 HOURS AGO WRONG” Borderlands guides so I don’t feel like a dumb fucking idiot for not min-maxing my hobby