...So far? It doesn't seems like I'm off track at all. It's just that I feel like I wasn't actually progressing the way I want.

(What does that even mean?)

...I terms of my current progression so far, there really isn't a lot for me to learn.
I tell myself that if I were to attend classes and courses, I'm gonna learn something professional, in-depth, and complex.
And I should spend my time, just figure out what profession specifcally do I want.

The point is I've been self-learning all this by now, and I seems to be stuck, for drastically slowing down.

Should I do it the traditional way? Where I go "spend" my time in a class, get a degree and go on the "usual way"?

I hate class format with devotion, and moreover...

My biggest debate, is that since I'm a Uni Freshmen, I thought about the idea of me minoring multimedia.

If I we're to attend classes, will it help me become a professional 3D artist?
The answers are unclear, but current situations says no, not for now.

I would say I'm also very obsessed with in-game sprites and interface designs and bla bla bla... So many aspects about games, but they're beyond 3D.

(End of the part that mattered.)

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How do I even get on with all this?

Well, for the sake of Arashi, I should really learn this.

Considering that there is nothing more fitting for him than a cloak.

When I step back and think about it, they really gave me a lot of guidance and support when I was feeling down, which only makes thing more complex for me.

Hmm... How do I say this?

Oftentimes though, it feels as if I'm in a bad spot, where I desperately want to get the attention and support from my friends, but yet too scared to.

I mean, they're my friends no?
Why do I necessarily feel that way?
Do I doubt them?

...Maybe it's because I was on the wrong direction before, or maybe that I failed to convey my message clearly.
...Or maybe they just have a different taste and favor in story than mine.

I don't feel like turning this into cooperation, I think realistically, I just wanted my friends to support me.

單純只是因為我沒有勇氣

When I tell myself to just "not overthink" it and "Just do it", I couldn't really comprehend the idea.

But when the feeling clicks, I work without a doubt.
I mind was fast, clear, efficient.

So the thing is:
"I feel inspired, how am I supposed to turn this into motivation?"

Surely, I want to express these ideas I had in mind?

How am I supposed to...?
I feel happy having all these thoughts, it's wanna be a storyteller.
But how? When I think about execution it feels... confusing.
That I'm eager to take action but also... desperate.

Yes.
I wanted 3D, animation, and creative related skill to be my profession, that I’m certain.

I tell myself I want/need to learn and study it, my mind are eager to.
But what went wrong for me? Because it seems I was unable to fulfill that for a long time.

Also yes.
Arashi. likes hugs.