should clarify - this applies to both friend groups im in. its not just you three

p.s im only sharing the stuff that is relevant to you. there is a LOT more going on in life thats also stressing me out, this is just a major factor and is compounding on top of everythign else.

please dont cut me out or off. i need this break and it will be for the better

my dms are open, ill read them when i get back. it shouldnt be too long.

i love you all to death. will see you soon :)

please dont take anything i say here as an attack on any of you. im just letting off steam and i will be in a better headspace when i return, and i trust that you will all not hold anything against me. i highly doubt ill be gone longer than a week since ill be extremely lonely.

yall are still my best friends and i love you to death, its just everything feels way too one way for me to cope with. i just cant right now.

ill be back soon, and hopefully much better, i just need some time away to work on myself.

i have 0 intention on making this break permanent nor will i hold anything against anyone but right now i have never needed one so badly. i just HAVE to distance myself from my online life for a bit for the sake of my own mental health.

i still love yall a lot, it just doesnt feel like its the same back to me. no matter how much positivity and affection i give, i get none in return and instead negative jokes and sometimes serious snaps and attacks.

what more can i do.

im really doing my best to salvage what i can regarding online life but im constantly left feeling really upset and drained due to so many reasons that are out of my control. if i try to fix them, nothing changes. if there is change, it will be for 3 days maximum before returning again.

im having boundaries stepped on, im being used as a punching bag, im watching my best friend drift away further and further no matter how hard i try, im feeling used, undervalued, unloved, disposable in the group, and ive tried really hard to get things to change but to no avail.

im basically stuck feeling really fucking bad the entire time i hang out with friends, close or not, from both the fortress and the libby groups. and its stuff i genuinely cannot do much more about. ive REALLY tried

from the close friend group alone in the past TWO DAYS, ive been used as a punching bag for jokes a few times, which i established prior i didnt like at all, and also have had my best friend borderline ghost me and havent seen any real steps/attempts in improving from how things were before.

ive been for the past couple months or so stuck in this cycle of feeling drained and low priority and unloved by people im close to.

its stuff that i cant mentally deal with on my own.

"i know you dont like it BUT..." just respect the boundary i swear to god

if i was playing fine why am i being singled out

ive said so many times how much i dont like it and it just keeps happening for no reason. like come on

just feels like my feelings arent cared for at all anymore.

just. idk what to do anymore

what really doesnt help is that i feel like A is dry texting me the entire time. im getting basically one word replies to things i start, among the previous things i had brought up in the past.

it just feels like im losing too much and its genuinely fully out of my control at this point.