Honey Boo Boo Radley
@abbypurdy.bsky.social
Vultures circling are a kettle, resting are a committee, and tearing into carrion are a wake.
I truly don't understand this thirst for signed merch. You hang out with the guy. My friends were at my place for NYE; I didn't have them autograph shit.
January 5, 2026 at 6:42 PM
I truly don't understand this thirst for signed merch. You hang out with the guy. My friends were at my place for NYE; I didn't have them autograph shit.
Started a bet with friends about which country we'll invade next. Friend One said Nigeria. Friend Two said Greenland. I said Cuba.
Asked my husband, "What's your bet?"
"I'll tell you by bedtime."
"Smart play; he'll have already sent troops in by then."
Asked my husband, "What's your bet?"
"I'll tell you by bedtime."
"Smart play; he'll have already sent troops in by then."
January 5, 2026 at 5:21 AM
Started a bet with friends about which country we'll invade next. Friend One said Nigeria. Friend Two said Greenland. I said Cuba.
Asked my husband, "What's your bet?"
"I'll tell you by bedtime."
"Smart play; he'll have already sent troops in by then."
Asked my husband, "What's your bet?"
"I'll tell you by bedtime."
"Smart play; he'll have already sent troops in by then."
I know I'm some random person making a recommendation, but my friend, Rita Maria Martinez, wrote an excellent book of poetry that reimagines "Jane Eyre," called "The Jane and Bertha in Me."
December 31, 2025 at 3:19 AM
I know I'm some random person making a recommendation, but my friend, Rita Maria Martinez, wrote an excellent book of poetry that reimagines "Jane Eyre," called "The Jane and Bertha in Me."
I AM BEGGING YOU! I have been helping my father dog-shop, and Peevey isn't a fit for him, but I need to see photos of this little dude on the regular.
www.ccawl.com/available-pe...
www.ccawl.com/available-pe...
December 29, 2025 at 4:48 AM
I AM BEGGING YOU! I have been helping my father dog-shop, and Peevey isn't a fit for him, but I need to see photos of this little dude on the regular.
www.ccawl.com/available-pe...
www.ccawl.com/available-pe...
My wish is that no one attends a show there as long as his name is on it, but if they must, I hope they stick heavy flow maxipads on the armrests.
December 28, 2025 at 3:31 AM
My wish is that no one attends a show there as long as his name is on it, but if they must, I hope they stick heavy flow maxipads on the armrests.
*INCOME OPPORTUNITY* Armrest cushion rental stand!
December 27, 2025 at 2:24 AM
*INCOME OPPORTUNITY* Armrest cushion rental stand!
I love this for him. That fetid husk of a human being is wandering around the empty corridors of the White House yelling into his phone because no one wants to spend Christmas with him.
December 26, 2025 at 12:48 AM
I love this for him. That fetid husk of a human being is wandering around the empty corridors of the White House yelling into his phone because no one wants to spend Christmas with him.
My dream is that he has to live out his days in poorly-maintained public housing, relying on SNAP benefits, having to decide whether to pay for his life-sustaining medication or heating his tiny, drafty apartment.
December 25, 2025 at 11:13 PM
My dream is that he has to live out his days in poorly-maintained public housing, relying on SNAP benefits, having to decide whether to pay for his life-sustaining medication or heating his tiny, drafty apartment.
That I live in a world where I am aware that Rob Schneider exists is really an indictment of our society.
December 23, 2025 at 8:28 PM
That I live in a world where I am aware that Rob Schneider exists is really an indictment of our society.
IT'S OPPOSITE DAY!
December 20, 2025 at 6:44 PM
IT'S OPPOSITE DAY!
As someone who taught college poetry and moved to the legal profession, the ability to conjure metaphors absolutely helps people relying on a system *designed* to confuse the average person to the degree they *need* advocates and representation.
December 9, 2025 at 8:34 PM
As someone who taught college poetry and moved to the legal profession, the ability to conjure metaphors absolutely helps people relying on a system *designed* to confuse the average person to the degree they *need* advocates and representation.
If we end birthright citizenship, does that mean Stephen Miller, who emerged fully formed from the maws of hell, will be stateless?
December 6, 2025 at 10:53 PM
If we end birthright citizenship, does that mean Stephen Miller, who emerged fully formed from the maws of hell, will be stateless?
But were you wearing a suit like Secretary Duffy told you to?
December 1, 2025 at 8:44 PM
But were you wearing a suit like Secretary Duffy told you to?
"Wives, honor your husband by making flaccid, misshapen crescent rolls that look just like his penis."
November 29, 2025 at 9:58 PM
"Wives, honor your husband by making flaccid, misshapen crescent rolls that look just like his penis."
Everything in that kitchen is the color of mayonnaise.
November 28, 2025 at 3:21 PM
Everything in that kitchen is the color of mayonnaise.
Everyone who has listened to "The World Record Book of Racist Stories," read by the authors, the hilarious Amber Ruffin and her sister Lacey Lamar, on my recommendation, has thanked me, if you need a laugh.
November 19, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Everyone who has listened to "The World Record Book of Racist Stories," read by the authors, the hilarious Amber Ruffin and her sister Lacey Lamar, on my recommendation, has thanked me, if you need a laugh.
We talk about the next President tearing down the Epstein Ballroom, but the IT restoration is going to take years.
November 6, 2025 at 10:12 PM
We talk about the next President tearing down the Epstein Ballroom, but the IT restoration is going to take years.
"Okay, meemaw, let's get you back to the Oval Office."
November 6, 2025 at 2:28 AM
"Okay, meemaw, let's get you back to the Oval Office."
Can we vapidly talk about THE FASHION?
November 5, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Can we vapidly talk about THE FASHION?
Sir, this is a pelican, a majestic bird.
November 3, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Sir, this is a pelican, a majestic bird.
I replied because my heart sank thinking it was Virginia. Even the article doesn't say which state, but mentions a detention center in Missouri. I had to Google the restaurant. I figured I wasn't the only confused reader.
November 3, 2025 at 10:32 PM
I replied because my heart sank thinking it was Virginia. Even the article doesn't say which state, but mentions a detention center in Missouri. I had to Google the restaurant. I figured I wasn't the only confused reader.