Artimus T. Branesample
@abranesample.bsky.social
Medically-retired former champion chicken plucker.
I started a company that sells edible candied versions of the stuff that makes bugs luminesce. #LightningBuggary.uk.wii
I try to keep things light because the heavy shit is very dark & schmooky.
I started a company that sells edible candied versions of the stuff that makes bugs luminesce. #LightningBuggary.uk.wii
I try to keep things light because the heavy shit is very dark & schmooky.
Honestly.
I apologize for the 1970's playground shit I want to say about him but, I feel like I can do it better and without insulting 1/10 as many people.
I apologize for the 1970's playground shit I want to say about him but, I feel like I can do it better and without insulting 1/10 as many people.
December 23, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Honestly.
I apologize for the 1970's playground shit I want to say about him but, I feel like I can do it better and without insulting 1/10 as many people.
I apologize for the 1970's playground shit I want to say about him but, I feel like I can do it better and without insulting 1/10 as many people.
The contemporaneously inappropriate comments I want to make about him is embarrassing.
December 23, 2025 at 12:44 AM
The contemporaneously inappropriate comments I want to make about him is embarrassing.
I feel like the ballroom is more his style.
December 23, 2025 at 12:43 AM
I feel like the ballroom is more his style.
Admittedly, these sweatpants with the ankle cuffs feel a little "swish".
December 23, 2025 at 12:35 AM
Admittedly, these sweatpants with the ankle cuffs feel a little "swish".
God did it.
(Why am I the first to admit it?!)
(Why am I the first to admit it?!)
December 23, 2025 at 12:33 AM
God did it.
(Why am I the first to admit it?!)
(Why am I the first to admit it?!)
Wait until they realize that America can't afford to drill for its own oil.
December 23, 2025 at 12:27 AM
Wait until they realize that America can't afford to drill for its own oil.
I'm cooking and her children and granddaughters will all be together on Xmas Eve for the 1st time BECAUSE SHE FELL DOWN AND HURT HERSELF.
She's so perfect that she found a way, at 83, to get all of us together on Christmas Eve for the very first time.
It's a goddamn festivus miracle.
(She's good!)
She's so perfect that she found a way, at 83, to get all of us together on Christmas Eve for the very first time.
It's a goddamn festivus miracle.
(She's good!)
December 23, 2025 at 12:20 AM
I'm cooking and her children and granddaughters will all be together on Xmas Eve for the 1st time BECAUSE SHE FELL DOWN AND HURT HERSELF.
She's so perfect that she found a way, at 83, to get all of us together on Christmas Eve for the very first time.
It's a goddamn festivus miracle.
(She's good!)
She's so perfect that she found a way, at 83, to get all of us together on Christmas Eve for the very first time.
It's a goddamn festivus miracle.
(She's good!)
Nothing I want to say is "OK".
December 22, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Nothing I want to say is "OK".
Never, David?
Your Mom PATIED!
Your Mom PATIED!
November 12, 2025 at 6:02 PM
Never, David?
Your Mom PATIED!
Your Mom PATIED!
What I definitely should do is add a third element to the already-stupid shit.
I might have been born last night but, don't fool me twice!
I might have been born last night but, don't fool me twice!
November 10, 2025 at 9:00 PM
What I definitely should do is add a third element to the already-stupid shit.
I might have been born last night but, don't fool me twice!
I might have been born last night but, don't fool me twice!
You know me too well.
I'm all about the childrens.
I'm all about the childrens.
November 10, 2025 at 8:57 PM
You know me too well.
I'm all about the childrens.
I'm all about the childrens.
Weirdo.
Aaaahahahahahaha.
Aaaahahahahahaha.
November 10, 2025 at 8:56 PM
Weirdo.
Aaaahahahahahaha.
Aaaahahahahahaha.
I could actually feel the difference in TEMPERATURE between the tears/blood and the goo.
I'm fine. It was only 2 beers.
I'm fine. It was only 2 beers.
November 10, 2025 at 8:52 PM
I could actually feel the difference in TEMPERATURE between the tears/blood and the goo.
I'm fine. It was only 2 beers.
I'm fine. It was only 2 beers.