Elon Musk
@adriantittmann.bsky.social
Parody. They made me do it.
My $250M late-stage investment into a new presidential venture just made it illegal for you not to pay me your money.
February 3, 2025 at 3:20 AM
My $250M late-stage investment into a new presidential venture just made it illegal for you not to pay me your money.
Advertisers, I don't need your money. Go Fuck yourselves. You hear me? Go Fuck yourselves.
Oh, wait...
Oh, wait...
February 3, 2025 at 3:18 AM
Advertisers, I don't need your money. Go Fuck yourselves. You hear me? Go Fuck yourselves.
Oh, wait...
Oh, wait...
January 23, 2025 at 6:00 PM
There are rumors that some Cybertrucks, equipped with the latest AI model, attempted suicide after witnessing my "heart goes to you" gesture—which, to be clear, is absolutely not a Nazi salute.
Sadly, this appears to be one of those cases.
Sadly, this appears to be one of those cases.
January 22, 2025 at 1:01 AM
There are rumors that some Cybertrucks, equipped with the latest AI model, attempted suicide after witnessing my "heart goes to you" gesture—which, to be clear, is absolutely not a Nazi salute.
Sadly, this appears to be one of those cases.
Sadly, this appears to be one of those cases.
Just because I provide fascists with a safe space on X, repost their messages to amplify their reach, fund neo-Nazi parties globally with my own money, undermine and crush those who oppose Nazis, promote fascist ideology, and even use Nazi salutes doesn’t mean I’m pro-Nazi.
January 20, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Just because I provide fascists with a safe space on X, repost their messages to amplify their reach, fund neo-Nazi parties globally with my own money, undermine and crush those who oppose Nazis, promote fascist ideology, and even use Nazi salutes doesn’t mean I’m pro-Nazi.
Thanks to DOGE and MAGA, all of America’s problems are now relics of the past. We are already living in a Golden Age.
It’s time to turn my attention to the less fortunate corners of the world.
It’s time to turn my attention to the less fortunate corners of the world.
January 19, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Thanks to DOGE and MAGA, all of America’s problems are now relics of the past. We are already living in a Golden Age.
It’s time to turn my attention to the less fortunate corners of the world.
It’s time to turn my attention to the less fortunate corners of the world.
I overwhelm mere mortals with the sheer force of my astonishing intelligence.
January 19, 2025 at 1:54 PM
I overwhelm mere mortals with the sheer force of my astonishing intelligence.
The lack of safety checks and basic precautions at SpaceX shouldn't become a reason for those affected by the explosion to sue us.
January 18, 2025 at 3:20 AM
The lack of safety checks and basic precautions at SpaceX shouldn't become a reason for those affected by the explosion to sue us.
All the miracles you can achieve when the government funds you.
That’s why, as the head of #DOGE, I propose slashing funding for all programs that don’t directly benefit my companies.
That’s why, as the head of #DOGE, I propose slashing funding for all programs that don’t directly benefit my companies.
January 17, 2025 at 3:54 PM
All the miracles you can achieve when the government funds you.
That’s why, as the head of #DOGE, I propose slashing funding for all programs that don’t directly benefit my companies.
That’s why, as the head of #DOGE, I propose slashing funding for all programs that don’t directly benefit my companies.
You see - at least part of the rocket is OK.
January 17, 2025 at 3:51 PM
You see - at least part of the rocket is OK.
After consulting with my advisors, I’ve concluded that the Twitter restructuring model with revenues rising by -85% offers a better approach for DOGE.
January 17, 2025 at 3:49 PM
After consulting with my advisors, I’ve concluded that the Twitter restructuring model with revenues rising by -85% offers a better approach for DOGE.
I’m not concerned about the cost because the government will cover it, and I’ll reap the profits once it succeeds.
January 17, 2025 at 1:13 AM
I’m not concerned about the cost because the government will cover it, and I’ll reap the profits once it succeeds.
Legally required small print:
Must be willing to work 100 hours a week and get paid for 40. Your manager is your master—obedience is mandatory. Leaving your job requires your master’s permission. Speaking to the press about working conditions is strictly prohibited.
Must be willing to work 100 hours a week and get paid for 40. Your manager is your master—obedience is mandatory. Leaving your job requires your master’s permission. Speaking to the press about working conditions is strictly prohibited.
January 16, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Legally required small print:
Must be willing to work 100 hours a week and get paid for 40. Your manager is your master—obedience is mandatory. Leaving your job requires your master’s permission. Speaking to the press about working conditions is strictly prohibited.
Must be willing to work 100 hours a week and get paid for 40. Your manager is your master—obedience is mandatory. Leaving your job requires your master’s permission. Speaking to the press about working conditions is strictly prohibited.
Quiz of the day:
Two of these things make money
Two of them barely break even
Two of them lose money
Three of them are vaporware to inflate stock prices
Can you guess which ones?
Bonus question:
What is the fair price of #Tesla stock - 1/8, 1/10 or 1/12 of the current stock value?
Two of these things make money
Two of them barely break even
Two of them lose money
Three of them are vaporware to inflate stock prices
Can you guess which ones?
Bonus question:
What is the fair price of #Tesla stock - 1/8, 1/10 or 1/12 of the current stock value?
January 14, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Quiz of the day:
Two of these things make money
Two of them barely break even
Two of them lose money
Three of them are vaporware to inflate stock prices
Can you guess which ones?
Bonus question:
What is the fair price of #Tesla stock - 1/8, 1/10 or 1/12 of the current stock value?
Two of these things make money
Two of them barely break even
Two of them lose money
Three of them are vaporware to inflate stock prices
Can you guess which ones?
Bonus question:
What is the fair price of #Tesla stock - 1/8, 1/10 or 1/12 of the current stock value?
I have no doubt that the American public will be happy to accept cuts to their services and social benefits to fund a tax break for me.
January 14, 2025 at 5:10 PM
I have no doubt that the American public will be happy to accept cuts to their services and social benefits to fund a tax break for me.
My sincerest apologies.
Both trucks, scheduled for delivery in California in the entire 2025, are currently being used as makeshift replacements for damaged garbage bins at Mar-a-Lago. Rest assured, we’ll clean them up and have them delivered to the lucky owners by 2027.
Both trucks, scheduled for delivery in California in the entire 2025, are currently being used as makeshift replacements for damaged garbage bins at Mar-a-Lago. Rest assured, we’ll clean them up and have them delivered to the lucky owners by 2027.
January 13, 2025 at 2:57 AM
My sincerest apologies.
Both trucks, scheduled for delivery in California in the entire 2025, are currently being used as makeshift replacements for damaged garbage bins at Mar-a-Lago. Rest assured, we’ll clean them up and have them delivered to the lucky owners by 2027.
Both trucks, scheduled for delivery in California in the entire 2025, are currently being used as makeshift replacements for damaged garbage bins at Mar-a-Lago. Rest assured, we’ll clean them up and have them delivered to the lucky owners by 2027.
In the Middle Ages, anyone could buy a sword on eBay and commit a mass stabbing, potentially killing dozens before being stopped.
Incidents like this occurred almost weekly—just ask Grok.
Incidents like this occurred almost weekly—just ask Grok.
January 12, 2025 at 7:23 PM
In the Middle Ages, anyone could buy a sword on eBay and commit a mass stabbing, potentially killing dozens before being stopped.
Incidents like this occurred almost weekly—just ask Grok.
Incidents like this occurred almost weekly—just ask Grok.
I’ve spread Russian propaganda, helped Russia preserve the Black Sea Fleet so it could commit crimes against humanity, lobbied tirelessly on Putin’s behalf, and now I support Russian operatives in the EU to destabilize the bloc.
But, of course, you shouldn’t think I’m on Putin’s side.
But, of course, you shouldn’t think I’m on Putin’s side.
January 11, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I’ve spread Russian propaganda, helped Russia preserve the Black Sea Fleet so it could commit crimes against humanity, lobbied tirelessly on Putin’s behalf, and now I support Russian operatives in the EU to destabilize the bloc.
But, of course, you shouldn’t think I’m on Putin’s side.
But, of course, you shouldn’t think I’m on Putin’s side.
I have fantastic entertainment here. Why not swing by for a cup of coffee and a dash of Ketamine?
January 11, 2025 at 6:00 PM
I have fantastic entertainment here. Why not swing by for a cup of coffee and a dash of Ketamine?
Warming up those busy thumbs 👍👍after the noon dose of Ketamine.
January 9, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Warming up those busy thumbs 👍👍after the noon dose of Ketamine.
As a world-renowned expert in packing wet sand/dirt (aka mud) and applying it to vulnerable surfaces, I urge you to take action immediately. Start covering those vulnerable areas before it’s too late.
We’ve got just 25 million acres of land to address. Get to work, plebs.
We’ve got just 25 million acres of land to address. Get to work, plebs.
January 9, 2025 at 4:20 PM
As a world-renowned expert in packing wet sand/dirt (aka mud) and applying it to vulnerable surfaces, I urge you to take action immediately. Start covering those vulnerable areas before it’s too late.
We’ve got just 25 million acres of land to address. Get to work, plebs.
We’ve got just 25 million acres of land to address. Get to work, plebs.
Just because I constantly make statements I know to be false doesn’t mean I’m lying.
January 9, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Just because I constantly make statements I know to be false doesn’t mean I’m lying.
You see, others, too, reshaping their platforms in ways that directly enable support for Nazis.
January 8, 2025 at 2:06 AM
You see, others, too, reshaping their platforms in ways that directly enable support for Nazis.
To all the retards lacking basic language skills, let me repeat:
Post more positive, beautiful, or informative content about me—or else.
Post more positive, beautiful, or informative content about me—or else.
January 6, 2025 at 2:31 PM
To all the retards lacking basic language skills, let me repeat:
Post more positive, beautiful, or informative content about me—or else.
Post more positive, beautiful, or informative content about me—or else.