Distracting myself from the stock futures by watching my parents, who found a vacuum sealer in their basement that has sat untouched for 20 years, spend the past hour trying to vacuum seal a rolled up napkin.

thank you to Kendrick and the Eagles for making terrible people angry tonight

Important thing to remember here is fuck Harrison Butker

Something that hasn’t changed from the first term is like every six to twelve hours there’s another thing they’ve done that fucks up your day.

We aren’t even 12 hours into this garbage fire and I’m holding onto my dry January resolution by half a thread.

Rage cleaning my house to cope today, so I guess there’s that.

The different stages of a 7am Saturday workout class:
Friday- sign up
Saturday at 6am- why did I do this? I should cancel.
Saturday at 6:57am- race thru the gym to be on time
Saturday at 8am- I should do this every week!

Explaining the RFK Jr stories from the past year to my not at all online mother has been the most entertaining thing I’ve done in over a week. “Brain worms? A dear bear and a whale head? This guy’s a Kennedy???”