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Allen Rein

@allenarrr.bsky.social

1.1K followers 150 following 360 posts

Singer/songwriter, corporate ops, contributor to McSweeneys. Also @trumpsties. (he/him)

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · Jun 10

It was the what-the-fuck of times, it was the what-in-the-actual-fuck of times.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · 1d

The most dangerous part of Chicago is the Executive Branch of the US Government.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · 11d

Just played “twat” in a Scrabble game against my mother, so now I’m going to have to fake my own death.

Reposted by Allen Rein

RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · 15d

Getting through these troubled times by referring to any and all animals as "colleagues".

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · 15d

Tylenol: "Keep our medicine's name out of your damned mouth!"

Trump: "Ack-ed-o-moph-ac-eeed-what?"

Tylenol: "LOL never mind."

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Reposted by Allen Rein

Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 19d

*my funeral

son: I guess we're going to need our own phone plan

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · 16d

My father was an infectious disease physician, an educator, and a lover of science and medicine. I miss him every day, but I’m glad he doesn’t have to watch what this administration is doing. It would absolutely devastate him.

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Reposted by Allen Rein

Benjamin Dreyer @bcdreyer.social · 16d

Perhaps in the spirit of renewal that comes with the new year tonight I'm allowing myself a sliver of belief that the current regime is badly overplaying its hand.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · 21d

Caving truth to power.

Reposted by Allen Rein

maura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 28d

I want everyone, even those who I despise, to have healthcare. I want everyone, even republicans, to be able to afford food and housing. I want everyone, even those on the right who actively work to build the opposite, to live in a place that is safe from violence.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · 28d

You can totally hear him saying it, right? “HereweGO!”

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · 28d

The only time I want to hear a President say, "Here we go!" is when Barack Obama and I are riding Space Mountain together and approaching the first hill.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · 29d

The journey from "Covid vaccination required" to "Ha, good luck getting one" is heartbreaking.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · Sep 7

Me (squinting into the distance): “Oh, fuck. Monday.”

Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · Sep 4

Like I needed another reason to never go to Florida.

Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · Sep 4

I want to be just famous enough so that the camera focuses on me in the stands at the US Open, but the commentators say, “Who the fuck is that?”

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · Sep 2

Hard to believe the Republican party used to fight for smaller government.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · Aug 28

Hey, there. Quick reminder that our country's leadership DOES NOT WANT US TO BE HEALTHY. As you were.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · Aug 27

Finally, this country gets a Royal Wedding.

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Allen Rein @allenarrr.bsky.social · Aug 25

Trump signed an executive order today aimed at prosecuting people who "desecrate" the American flag, but if you look closely under his signature, it says, "p.s. Unless you are beating a police officer with it at the Capitol. That's obvs ok and the kind of free speech we need more of. Covfefe!"

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Reposted by Allen Rein

RM @dorsalstream.bsky.social · Aug 23

WIFE: The new neighbors were kind enough to invite us to dinner. Please try to be normal.

ME: of course.

[later]

ME (using a fork to put a layer of butter between two potato chips): You know, buildings are really insects — their skeletons are on the outside to protect the teeming life within