It’s normal to prefer songs you already know, but you can create a habit of discovering and appreciating new music. It will make your life better!

Here’s the list that got me to age 17 this year. I don’t think most actual 17 year olds would be into it. That’s fine.

open.spotify.com/playlist/5qs...

I gotta work on that cord situation I know!

That’s the therapy report, with hopefully enough detail to be helpful and not enough detail to be creepy or weird. Now I have to go get ready for work. Cheers, everybody’s inner children!

There’s also practical work. At my last session we went though a deck of “universal human needs” cards and talked about what needs are met/not met for me and who can or should meet them. Narrowed down to one super simple thing I needed and could ask for from one person. I did it and it went well. +

This may shock you all but that doesn’t lead to really successful relationships! 😂 😭 The relationships that take hold for more than a few dates are with partners who are in some way quite seriously unwell themselves, and/or lazy partners who are content to let you (me) carry the thing along. +

What I have always perceived you can’t do is ask for your partner’s time/ attention, address relationship problems, or worst of all, decide to end a relationship in which your needs aren’t being met. What I do instead is give, wait, and hope it will be enough to merit some reciprocity, eventually. +

Add on to that the patriarchal/ Mormon model of romantic (ew) relationships where women are supposed to handle not only their own shit but literally everyone else’s so that their male partners can build stellar careers and climb the church leadership ladder. That’s still in my psyche. Cool. +

Zero shade on my parents for this. Fifteen kajillion shade on the Mormon institution for what it did to my mom. Birth control was frowned on. She was STRESSED.

Anyway, I still think it’s best if I handle my own shit and ask little to nothing from other people. And that’s not always great for me.

This likely goes back to when my adorable Mormon mom was pressured to have 4 kids between 1974 (me) and 1979. I had to grow up kinda fast. I was fortunate never to have been punished/censured for needing help, but was definitely praised/rewarded for being mature and independent at ages 2-3-4. +

What you & your kids have been through would vanquish most mythic heroes (male ones).
I’m so proud to call you my friend; you’re tough as hell and gorgeous and funny and smart and compassionate, just the best.