Andy Anderson
@andybeau.bsky.social
Librarian | dog-lover | choccy milk connoisseur | staunchly anti-Trump | nerd (and a whole host of other things)
Did you know that Julius Caesar, the Roman General and statesman, never said "thank you" in his entire life? Not once. To be fair, he didn't speak...
...English. 🗣️ #WeHaveNoKing #AndysPuns
...English. 🗣️ #WeHaveNoKing #AndysPuns
December 30, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Did you know that Julius Caesar, the Roman General and statesman, never said "thank you" in his entire life? Not once. To be fair, he didn't speak...
...English. 🗣️ #WeHaveNoKing #AndysPuns
...English. 🗣️ #WeHaveNoKing #AndysPuns
My dad always told me, "Don't be so quick to find faults." He was a good man, but a terrible...
...geologist. ⛰️ #RockSolid #AndysPuns
...geologist. ⛰️ #RockSolid #AndysPuns
December 29, 2025 at 6:24 PM
My dad always told me, "Don't be so quick to find faults." He was a good man, but a terrible...
...geologist. ⛰️ #RockSolid #AndysPuns
...geologist. ⛰️ #RockSolid #AndysPuns
As construction projects go, digging foundations is boring. Fastening two pieces of metal together? Absolutely...
...riveting! 🚧 #StopHumorTime #AndysPuns
...riveting! 🚧 #StopHumorTime #AndysPuns
December 23, 2025 at 6:36 PM
As construction projects go, digging foundations is boring. Fastening two pieces of metal together? Absolutely...
...riveting! 🚧 #StopHumorTime #AndysPuns
...riveting! 🚧 #StopHumorTime #AndysPuns
Thinking about becoming a hero named “Aluminum Man.” Kinda like Iron Man, except I just…
…foil villains’ plans. 🤘 #iamironman #AndysPuns
…foil villains’ plans. 🤘 #iamironman #AndysPuns
December 22, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Thinking about becoming a hero named “Aluminum Man.” Kinda like Iron Man, except I just…
…foil villains’ plans. 🤘 #iamironman #AndysPuns
…foil villains’ plans. 🤘 #iamironman #AndysPuns
Apparently if you buy a cabbage from Kohl’s, you are legally obligated to also buy carrots and mayonnaise. That’s Kohl’s…
…law. 🥬 #MyCabbages #AndysPuns
…law. 🥬 #MyCabbages #AndysPuns
December 19, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Apparently if you buy a cabbage from Kohl’s, you are legally obligated to also buy carrots and mayonnaise. That’s Kohl’s…
…law. 🥬 #MyCabbages #AndysPuns
…law. 🥬 #MyCabbages #AndysPuns
One (of many) problems you have as a dice goblin is that when a friend shows you their new set of dice, you immediately convince yourself you need a new set.
Will I actually get a new set soon? Most likely. Goblins gonna Goblin.
🎲 👺 #DungeonsandDragons #DiceGoblin
Will I actually get a new set soon? Most likely. Goblins gonna Goblin.
🎲 👺 #DungeonsandDragons #DiceGoblin
December 18, 2025 at 3:04 AM
One (of many) problems you have as a dice goblin is that when a friend shows you their new set of dice, you immediately convince yourself you need a new set.
Will I actually get a new set soon? Most likely. Goblins gonna Goblin.
🎲 👺 #DungeonsandDragons #DiceGoblin
Will I actually get a new set soon? Most likely. Goblins gonna Goblin.
🎲 👺 #DungeonsandDragons #DiceGoblin
If you dip your funny bone in boiling water, does it become a…
…laughing stock? 🦴 #Humerus #AndysPuns
…laughing stock? 🦴 #Humerus #AndysPuns
December 17, 2025 at 9:17 PM
If you dip your funny bone in boiling water, does it become a…
…laughing stock? 🦴 #Humerus #AndysPuns
…laughing stock? 🦴 #Humerus #AndysPuns
Saw a police cruiser with a beaver cuffed up in the back seat, and I thought they must have some pretty....
...damming evidence against him. 🚓 #BrushaBrushaBrusha #AndysPuns
...damming evidence against him. 🚓 #BrushaBrushaBrusha #AndysPuns
December 16, 2025 at 3:36 PM
Saw a police cruiser with a beaver cuffed up in the back seat, and I thought they must have some pretty....
...damming evidence against him. 🚓 #BrushaBrushaBrusha #AndysPuns
...damming evidence against him. 🚓 #BrushaBrushaBrusha #AndysPuns
December 15, 2025 at 2:40 PM
December 10, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Saw a magician driving down the street, but then he…
…turned into a driveway. 🪄 #PunavraKedavra #DadJokes
…turned into a driveway. 🪄 #PunavraKedavra #DadJokes
December 9, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Saw a magician driving down the street, but then he…
…turned into a driveway. 🪄 #PunavraKedavra #DadJokes
…turned into a driveway. 🪄 #PunavraKedavra #DadJokes
My favorite sport coat got a tear in it. I guess you could say that it wasn't my...
...strong suit. 👔 #TearablePuns #AndysPuns
...strong suit. 👔 #TearablePuns #AndysPuns
December 4, 2025 at 6:47 PM
My favorite sport coat got a tear in it. I guess you could say that it wasn't my...
...strong suit. 👔 #TearablePuns #AndysPuns
...strong suit. 👔 #TearablePuns #AndysPuns
Erin told me she ordered coffee from Amazon. I said, "Great, but aren't you worried that it'll be...
...cold by the time it gets here?" ☕ #LongDistance #AndysPuns
...cold by the time it gets here?" ☕ #LongDistance #AndysPuns
December 3, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Erin told me she ordered coffee from Amazon. I said, "Great, but aren't you worried that it'll be...
...cold by the time it gets here?" ☕ #LongDistance #AndysPuns
...cold by the time it gets here?" ☕ #LongDistance #AndysPuns
If I sip on a tea and I'm not sure if it's actually tea, can I call that...
...uncertaintea? ☕ #PunsFromTheVine #AndysPuns
...uncertaintea? ☕ #PunsFromTheVine #AndysPuns
December 2, 2025 at 5:13 PM
If I sip on a tea and I'm not sure if it's actually tea, can I call that...
...uncertaintea? ☕ #PunsFromTheVine #AndysPuns
...uncertaintea? ☕ #PunsFromTheVine #AndysPuns
Our fireplace felt a little warm this weekend. I think it might have the...
...flue. 🔥 #OnFire #AndysPuns
...flue. 🔥 #OnFire #AndysPuns
December 1, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Our fireplace felt a little warm this weekend. I think it might have the...
...flue. 🔥 #OnFire #AndysPuns
...flue. 🔥 #OnFire #AndysPuns
If you're ever weirdly curious which side of the turkey has the most feathers, I'm here to tell you...
...the outside. 🦃 #DeepFriedThoughts #AndysPuns
...the outside. 🦃 #DeepFriedThoughts #AndysPuns
November 26, 2025 at 3:35 PM
If you're ever weirdly curious which side of the turkey has the most feathers, I'm here to tell you...
...the outside. 🦃 #DeepFriedThoughts #AndysPuns
...the outside. 🦃 #DeepFriedThoughts #AndysPuns
November 25, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Wore my noise-cancelling headphones to dinner this weekend. I thought Erin would be mad, but I didn't...
...hear any complaints. 🎧 #DoYouHearMeow #AndysPuns
...hear any complaints. 🎧 #DoYouHearMeow #AndysPuns
November 25, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Wore my noise-cancelling headphones to dinner this weekend. I thought Erin would be mad, but I didn't...
...hear any complaints. 🎧 #DoYouHearMeow #AndysPuns
...hear any complaints. 🎧 #DoYouHearMeow #AndysPuns
Just learned that your pupils are the last part of our bodies that stop working after death. It's because they...
...dilate. 👀 #DeadPunny #AndysPuns
...dilate. 👀 #DeadPunny #AndysPuns
November 19, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Just learned that your pupils are the last part of our bodies that stop working after death. It's because they...
...dilate. 👀 #DeadPunny #AndysPuns
...dilate. 👀 #DeadPunny #AndysPuns
I never tell jokes while ice-skating just in case even the ice...
...cracks up. ⛸️ #IceCold #AndysPuns #DadJokes
...cracks up. ⛸️ #IceCold #AndysPuns #DadJokes
November 17, 2025 at 2:50 PM
I never tell jokes while ice-skating just in case even the ice...
...cracks up. ⛸️ #IceCold #AndysPuns #DadJokes
...cracks up. ⛸️ #IceCold #AndysPuns #DadJokes
@dadsaysjokes.com My phone has this cool app that shows me what I look like as an old fogey. It's called...
...camera. 📸 #WheresThePun #AndysPuns
...camera. 📸 #WheresThePun #AndysPuns
November 14, 2025 at 2:41 PM
@dadsaysjokes.com My phone has this cool app that shows me what I look like as an old fogey. It's called...
...camera. 📸 #WheresThePun #AndysPuns
...camera. 📸 #WheresThePun #AndysPuns
Went to this doctor over the weekend with a suspicious-looking mole, but the doctor just said that I should have...
...left him in the garden where I found him. 😁 #MoleyMoleyMoley #AndysPuns
...left him in the garden where I found him. 😁 #MoleyMoleyMoley #AndysPuns
November 10, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Went to this doctor over the weekend with a suspicious-looking mole, but the doctor just said that I should have...
...left him in the garden where I found him. 😁 #MoleyMoleyMoley #AndysPuns
...left him in the garden where I found him. 😁 #MoleyMoleyMoley #AndysPuns
When my dad went into the hospital for the last time, they covered his back in lard. After that, he went...
...downhill fast. 🧈 #DeadAssPunny #AndysPuns
...downhill fast. 🧈 #DeadAssPunny #AndysPuns
November 3, 2025 at 3:59 PM
When my dad went into the hospital for the last time, they covered his back in lard. After that, he went...
...downhill fast. 🧈 #DeadAssPunny #AndysPuns
...downhill fast. 🧈 #DeadAssPunny #AndysPuns