ari fishbein
@arifish.bsky.social
Hate when the stores got the whole branch of Brussels sprouts no other Brussels options. Take those shits off for me like you do every other month of the year please. Where tf am I supposed to put this
November 25, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Hate when the stores got the whole branch of Brussels sprouts no other Brussels options. Take those shits off for me like you do every other month of the year please. Where tf am I supposed to put this
Genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve seen on tv this year
November 10, 2025 at 2:58 AM
Genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve seen on tv this year
Say what you want about LA but they love the fuckin dodgers here man
November 2, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Say what you want about LA but they love the fuckin dodgers here man
I keep telling him it’s too early to go trick or treating but he won’t listen
October 31, 2025 at 5:51 PM
I keep telling him it’s too early to go trick or treating but he won’t listen
Don’t ever get comfortable ladies!!! You are not enough!!! Your man has to think your lips secrete gloss naturally in your sleep from some kind of gland!!
October 28, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Don’t ever get comfortable ladies!!! You are not enough!!! Your man has to think your lips secrete gloss naturally in your sleep from some kind of gland!!
seeing stuff like this makes me laugh because we literally had a Super Bowl parade earlier *this year*
personally I’m chilling
personally I’m chilling
October 10, 2025 at 9:22 PM
seeing stuff like this makes me laugh because we literally had a Super Bowl parade earlier *this year*
personally I’m chilling
personally I’m chilling
three to five times every Sunday I open a draft and write something that just boils down to this dril tweet and then delete so as not to jinx them
September 28, 2025 at 6:05 PM
three to five times every Sunday I open a draft and write something that just boils down to this dril tweet and then delete so as not to jinx them
produce a movie where a regular guy puts on the Hip Hop suit and gets all of Hip Hop’s jumping and (implied) rapping powers like the Jackie Chan movie The Tuxedo, you cowards @sixersnba.bsky.social
September 24, 2025 at 3:13 PM
produce a movie where a regular guy puts on the Hip Hop suit and gets all of Hip Hop’s jumping and (implied) rapping powers like the Jackie Chan movie The Tuxedo, you cowards @sixersnba.bsky.social
my boss collects art that he displays around our clinic and decided to place two unusable art sculpture chairs as decor on either side of a real bench, executing what I will refer to as an “Accidental Gavin Volure”
September 22, 2025 at 11:16 PM
my boss collects art that he displays around our clinic and decided to place two unusable art sculpture chairs as decor on either side of a real bench, executing what I will refer to as an “Accidental Gavin Volure”
send this guy back to the psych ward
September 19, 2025 at 8:35 PM
send this guy back to the psych ward
Hands looking normal and positioned very naturally tonight sir
September 11, 2025 at 5:26 AM
Hands looking normal and positioned very naturally tonight sir
me coming back to the office today with a box of tastycakes
September 4, 2025 at 1:12 PM
me coming back to the office today with a box of tastycakes
DO NOT HIRE THESE ROOFERS. They have absolutely NO intellectual curiosity. Completely intolerant to my heterodox ideas about roofs. Rude!!
August 11, 2025 at 7:29 PM
DO NOT HIRE THESE ROOFERS. They have absolutely NO intellectual curiosity. Completely intolerant to my heterodox ideas about roofs. Rude!!
I don’t agree with Trump on everything but I support his decision to turn the rose garden into an Au Bon Pain
August 7, 2025 at 2:11 PM
I don’t agree with Trump on everything but I support his decision to turn the rose garden into an Au Bon Pain
For the last month every can of coke I’ve bought has had Yoda on it and there’s absolutely no explanation as to why
August 3, 2025 at 3:20 AM
For the last month every can of coke I’ve bought has had Yoda on it and there’s absolutely no explanation as to why
Ever since my office upgraded the conference room with AirPlay I’m playing an involuntary game of Russian roulette where every time I connect my headphones I have a 30% chance of blasting TrueAnon at max volume in the executive suite
July 25, 2025 at 11:09 PM
Ever since my office upgraded the conference room with AirPlay I’m playing an involuntary game of Russian roulette where every time I connect my headphones I have a 30% chance of blasting TrueAnon at max volume in the executive suite
pov your parents friends are here and they’re drunk
July 15, 2025 at 2:32 AM
pov your parents friends are here and they’re drunk
beautiful Saturday at 5 pm and I’m watching the sixers narrow the Hornets lead to 1 in a July summer league game like this
July 13, 2025 at 12:18 AM
beautiful Saturday at 5 pm and I’m watching the sixers narrow the Hornets lead to 1 in a July summer league game like this
Got to save the image
July 11, 2025 at 1:03 AM
Got to save the image
Filing this under Things That Really Happened. This is what we in the business call a “True Flag” attack.
July 9, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Filing this under Things That Really Happened. This is what we in the business call a “True Flag” attack.
I’m watching Raiders of the Lost Arc and there’s a Nazi in the car chase scene who dies exactly like this
June 28, 2025 at 5:39 PM
I’m watching Raiders of the Lost Arc and there’s a Nazi in the car chase scene who dies exactly like this