Aztek
@aztekphetamine.bsky.social
Professional crow. Audio connoisseur and avid record collector.
Comedian of the unpalatable kind
Comedian of the unpalatable kind
Reposted by Aztek
‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool https://theonion.com/were-off-to-see-the-world-shout-saluting-trump-boys-setting-sail-on-d-c-reflecting-pool/
November 18, 2025 at 7:57 PM
‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool https://theonion.com/were-off-to-see-the-world-shout-saluting-trump-boys-setting-sail-on-d-c-reflecting-pool/
Reposted by Aztek
when will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare
November 18, 2025 at 2:01 PM
when will the lesson finally get learned? #cloudflare
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Happiness Downplayed For Single Friend https://theonion.com/happiness-downplayed-for-single-friend/
November 18, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Happiness Downplayed For Single Friend https://theonion.com/happiness-downplayed-for-single-friend/
Reposted by Aztek
Onion Talks Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog
November 18, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Onion Talks Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog
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Steam Machine will be powered by electricity, not steam power.
November 14, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Steam Machine will be powered by electricity, not steam power.
Reposted by Aztek
Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’ https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/
November 14, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles’ https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/
Reposted by Aztek
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Sydney Sweeney https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-sydney-sweeney/
November 14, 2025 at 8:45 PM
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Sydney Sweeney https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-sydney-sweeney/
Reposted by Aztek
DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern
DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern
BATH, ENGLAND—Saying the discovery shed new light on the infamous German dictator’s life, University of Bath researchers revealed DNA sequencing Friday showing that Adolf Hitler was a type of fern. “A...
theonion.com
November 14, 2025 at 11:00 PM
DNA Sequencing Reveals Hitler Was Type Of Fern
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Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation https://theonion.com/cool-dad-raising-daughter-on-media-that-will-put-her-en-1819572981/
October 17, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Cool Dad Raising Daughter On Media That Will Put Her Entirely Out Of Touch With Her Generation https://theonion.com/cool-dad-raising-daughter-on-media-that-will-put-her-en-1819572981/
y'know for being so anti-piracy, it sure is ironic that the NES used a pirated CPU
October 10, 2025 at 8:26 AM
y'know for being so anti-piracy, it sure is ironic that the NES used a pirated CPU
Reposted by Aztek
Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together https://theonion.com/everything-falling-apart-reports-institute-for-somehow-1819569822/
October 3, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together https://theonion.com/everything-falling-apart-reports-institute-for-somehow-1819569822/
Reposted by Aztek
Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity https://theonion.com/physical-media-collector-pumped-for-downfall-of-humanity/
October 1, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity https://theonion.com/physical-media-collector-pumped-for-downfall-of-humanity/
Reposted by Aztek
Reposted by Aztek
Grizzled Band-Aid Weathers Third Shower
September 27, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Grizzled Band-Aid Weathers Third Shower
Reposted by Aztek
Grand Theft Auto VI will not be rated E for Everyone by the ESRB.
September 27, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Grand Theft Auto VI will not be rated E for Everyone by the ESRB.
Reposted by Aztek
Drug Use Down Among Uncool Kids https://theonion.com/drug-use-down-among-uncool-kids-1819564478/
September 27, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Drug Use Down Among Uncool Kids https://theonion.com/drug-use-down-among-uncool-kids-1819564478/
Reposted by Aztek
Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’ https://theonion.com/limbless-slippery-rfk-jr-becoming-an-eel-is-a-sign-of-good-health/
September 26, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Limbless, Slippery RFK Jr.: ‘Becoming An Eel Is A Sign Of Good Health’ https://theonion.com/limbless-slippery-rfk-jr-becoming-an-eel-is-a-sign-of-good-health/
Reposted by Aztek
Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance
September 26, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance
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Visit From JD Vance Last Thing Utah Needs Right Now
Visit From JD Vance Last Thing Utah Needs Right Now
SALT LAKE CITY—Alarmed by numerous reports that the vice president was currently en route to the state, sources confirmed Thursday that a visit from JD Vance was the last thing Utah needed right now. ...
theonion.com
September 11, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Visit From JD Vance Last Thing Utah Needs Right Now
Reposted by Aztek
Artist Profile: Sombr https://theonion.com/artist-profile-sombr/
September 12, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Artist Profile: Sombr https://theonion.com/artist-profile-sombr/
Reposted by Aztek
New E-Toilet To Revolutionize Online Shitting https://theonion.com/new-e-toilet-to-revolutionize-online-shitting-1819565332/
September 12, 2025 at 9:00 PM
New E-Toilet To Revolutionize Online Shitting https://theonion.com/new-e-toilet-to-revolutionize-online-shitting-1819565332/
Reposted by Aztek
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Andrew Cuomo https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-andrew-cuomo/
August 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Andrew Cuomo https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-andrew-cuomo/
Reposted by Aztek
Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside https://theonion.com/dennys-announces-free-pancakes-for-customers-who-take-fight-outside/
August 28, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Denny’s Announces Free Pancakes For Customers Who Take Fight Outside https://theonion.com/dennys-announces-free-pancakes-for-customers-who-take-fight-outside/
Reposted by Aztek
CDC Director Arrives At Office To Find Dead Deer With ‘Fired’ Carved Into It
August 28, 2025 at 9:00 PM
CDC Director Arrives At Office To Find Dead Deer With ‘Fired’ Carved Into It
Reposted by Aztek
Search For Public Restroom An Epic Ordeal Of Alienation, Humiliation, Human Cruelty https://theonion.com/search-for-public-restroom-an-epic-ordeal-of-alienation-1819566549/
August 28, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Search For Public Restroom An Epic Ordeal Of Alienation, Humiliation, Human Cruelty https://theonion.com/search-for-public-restroom-an-epic-ordeal-of-alienation-1819566549/