4 but actually 5 because i put 3 twice) She never saw it and she will never see it because I didn't do it on time, and it doesn't matter.

Because she's gone. And I can't go back.

That's all, I guess.

3) In more recent years less and less often. Not because I want the chance to tell her less often, but because I dispiritedly faced facts - I never sent it to her.

3) Now, there's a long virtual document full of almost nothing but "Love you, Mom" lines on my phone. I've been adding lines to it for almost 8 years, more than once a day at times. I made sure to transfer it to replacement phones when needed.

2)I don't know how I missed it. I always clear all my unread notifications as soon as I can, and if it's a text, I read it and reply as soon as I can. But I missed it.

Substack, maybe?

Ah, but she is a woman preacher, a heretic, granted no authority over a man. True believers must cover their ears and harden their hearts against blasphemy.

Such was the message i was meant to absorb, growing up.
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