Alabaster Chortle
@beastbannon.bsky.social
I do podcasts and stuff. Co-host of The Jaymeson Tapes and UCA.
OPERATION THROBBING WAND
OPERATION BACKDOOR DELIGHT
OPERATION BIG TWITCHING GLISTENING COCK
OPERATION BACKDOOR DELIGHT
OPERATION BIG TWITCHING GLISTENING COCK
November 18, 2025 at 12:05 AM
OPERATION THROBBING WAND
OPERATION BACKDOOR DELIGHT
OPERATION BIG TWITCHING GLISTENING COCK
OPERATION BACKDOOR DELIGHT
OPERATION BIG TWITCHING GLISTENING COCK
Good news about Ghost of Yotei.
I was worried what with wolves being your characters thing in this game that we’d miss out on the side missions where you give foxes headpats.
The fox headpats are STILL IN TEN OUT OF TEN BEST SEQUEL.
I was worried what with wolves being your characters thing in this game that we’d miss out on the side missions where you give foxes headpats.
The fox headpats are STILL IN TEN OUT OF TEN BEST SEQUEL.
October 2, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Good news about Ghost of Yotei.
I was worried what with wolves being your characters thing in this game that we’d miss out on the side missions where you give foxes headpats.
The fox headpats are STILL IN TEN OUT OF TEN BEST SEQUEL.
I was worried what with wolves being your characters thing in this game that we’d miss out on the side missions where you give foxes headpats.
The fox headpats are STILL IN TEN OUT OF TEN BEST SEQUEL.
At the very least I appreciate when this year takes a quick break from being terrible to do something very very silly.
September 26, 2025 at 1:55 AM
At the very least I appreciate when this year takes a quick break from being terrible to do something very very silly.
There have been no game-breaking glitches.
Only hilarious ones.
GOD SENT ME MY CAR
Only hilarious ones.
GOD SENT ME MY CAR
September 15, 2025 at 8:31 PM
There have been no game-breaking glitches.
Only hilarious ones.
GOD SENT ME MY CAR
Only hilarious ones.
GOD SENT ME MY CAR
Okay I got it to happen again.
September 14, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Okay I got it to happen again.
Anyway, now for my Ted Talk about how Goro Takemura should be my boyfriend.
September 13, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Anyway, now for my Ted Talk about how Goro Takemura should be my boyfriend.
Also I did a finisher with the gorilla arms where I uppercut a guys head off and I don’t know if the guy being frozen like this is a glitch because I can’t make it happen again but if it’s on purpose it’s actually kind of awesome.
September 13, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Also I did a finisher with the gorilla arms where I uppercut a guys head off and I don’t know if the guy being frozen like this is a glitch because I can’t make it happen again but if it’s on purpose it’s actually kind of awesome.
“I’ve 100% never read the book or even a brief summary of the book or even spoken to someone who has read the book.”
-Someone presumably paid actual money to review movies
-Someone presumably paid actual money to review movies
September 3, 2025 at 2:03 PM
“I’ve 100% never read the book or even a brief summary of the book or even spoken to someone who has read the book.”
-Someone presumably paid actual money to review movies
-Someone presumably paid actual money to review movies
I’m the kinda person that doesn’t believe in ghosts but would also absolutely never in a million years go on a traveling tour with the notoriously haunted doll that kills people.
July 18, 2025 at 12:41 AM
I’m the kinda person that doesn’t believe in ghosts but would also absolutely never in a million years go on a traveling tour with the notoriously haunted doll that kills people.
I have no acceptable excuse for why my #2 most listened to song on Apple Music is a Turquoise Jeep song.
It is a banger though.
It is a banger though.
July 5, 2025 at 3:38 AM
I have no acceptable excuse for why my #2 most listened to song on Apple Music is a Turquoise Jeep song.
It is a banger though.
It is a banger though.
I wish I had the confidence of 2000 Fred Durst who got in the booth with DMX, Method Man, and Redman on the Rollin remix and was like ‘Yeah, I can definitely hang with all these guys’
March 21, 2025 at 11:40 AM
I wish I had the confidence of 2000 Fred Durst who got in the booth with DMX, Method Man, and Redman on the Rollin remix and was like ‘Yeah, I can definitely hang with all these guys’
I seem to remember these things being billed as ‘indestructible’.
March 19, 2025 at 2:23 AM
I seem to remember these things being billed as ‘indestructible’.
Inside you there are two wolves.
March 6, 2025 at 10:24 PM
Inside you there are two wolves.
Just a random picture for no reason.
January 31, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Just a random picture for no reason.
‘The new Doom is woke because it has difficulty settings’ is the latest take over on that other app I only still use to get wrestling news and like… just…
January 28, 2025 at 1:22 AM
‘The new Doom is woke because it has difficulty settings’ is the latest take over on that other app I only still use to get wrestling news and like… just…
Most things are bad. Almost all of the things are bad, it feels like. I feel bad. I made poutine.
January 20, 2025 at 1:52 AM
Most things are bad. Almost all of the things are bad, it feels like. I feel bad. I made poutine.
Best games I played in 2024 (not all RELEASED in 2024) were Selaco, Marvel Rivals, Alan Wake, Helldivers 2, Selaco again, Far Cry Blood Dragon, Doom Inifinite (A great Roguelike Mod for Doom) Blood, Blood: Death Wish, Supermarket Simulator, Selaco one more time, and Disco Elysium.
Also, Selaco.
Also, Selaco.
December 27, 2024 at 3:53 AM
Best games I played in 2024 (not all RELEASED in 2024) were Selaco, Marvel Rivals, Alan Wake, Helldivers 2, Selaco again, Far Cry Blood Dragon, Doom Inifinite (A great Roguelike Mod for Doom) Blood, Blood: Death Wish, Supermarket Simulator, Selaco one more time, and Disco Elysium.
Also, Selaco.
Also, Selaco.
He looks worse than Ivan Ooze and that movie is like 30 years old.
December 13, 2024 at 4:32 AM
He looks worse than Ivan Ooze and that movie is like 30 years old.
It’s never been more over for Overwatch.
December 10, 2024 at 11:55 PM
It’s never been more over for Overwatch.
“With our weekly Cryptid Specials we have prices you need to see (in grainy photographs) to believe. Come on down to MothManMart! I will yell at you for buying too much Flour!”
I’m gonna keep streaming this I think.
I’m gonna keep streaming this I think.
December 8, 2024 at 9:02 AM
“With our weekly Cryptid Specials we have prices you need to see (in grainy photographs) to believe. Come on down to MothManMart! I will yell at you for buying too much Flour!”
I’m gonna keep streaming this I think.
I’m gonna keep streaming this I think.
“These are our boys, Jules and Verne. That’s right Marty. I fucked. Doc Brown fucks and now you have to think about it, Marty. Marty and Allen Chaney. You have to think about what I fuck like now.” -Defintely a real line from the film.
December 2, 2024 at 6:01 AM
“These are our boys, Jules and Verne. That’s right Marty. I fucked. Doc Brown fucks and now you have to think about it, Marty. Marty and Allen Chaney. You have to think about what I fuck like now.” -Defintely a real line from the film.
Cruise over. One brief night in Disney Springs drinking probably way too much. The Indiana Jones themed bar gave me an Old Fashioned to go and it was a double I didn’t pay for.
Everything is going according to plan.
Everything is going according to plan.
December 2, 2024 at 2:39 AM
Cruise over. One brief night in Disney Springs drinking probably way too much. The Indiana Jones themed bar gave me an Old Fashioned to go and it was a double I didn’t pay for.
Everything is going according to plan.
Everything is going according to plan.