Ben Kenobi's Beard
@benkenobisbeard.bsky.social
Inventor of Snarcasm™
Quoter of films
Driver of Hatchbacks
Quoter of films
Driver of Hatchbacks
I named my fists Spanish and Inquisition because nobody expects them.
They are my main weapon...my *two* main weapons...
They are my main weapon...my *two* main weapons...
December 1, 2025 at 3:51 PM
I named my fists Spanish and Inquisition because nobody expects them.
They are my main weapon...my *two* main weapons...
They are my main weapon...my *two* main weapons...
Soccer/football is just so cruel that way.
November 30, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Soccer/football is just so cruel that way.
If I had a dollar for every time I incorrectly equated possession with winning, I would have...all the dollars. All of them.
November 30, 2025 at 6:51 PM
If I had a dollar for every time I incorrectly equated possession with winning, I would have...all the dollars. All of them.
How many *combat* drops?
November 30, 2025 at 6:45 AM
How many *combat* drops?
If I were his lawyer, I'd be screaming at him to shut up.
Since I'm not, tell me more, Whiskey Pete.
Since I'm not, tell me more, Whiskey Pete.
a woman is standing in front of a brick wall with the words " say something " above her
ALT: a woman is standing in front of a brick wall with the words " say something " above her
media.tenor.com
November 29, 2025 at 1:51 AM
If I were his lawyer, I'd be screaming at him to shut up.
Since I'm not, tell me more, Whiskey Pete.
Since I'm not, tell me more, Whiskey Pete.
At some point a reporter is just gonna say screw it and drop a well-placed F-bomb on Trump.
Right to his bloated face-vagina.
Hey media, he's just gonna insult you anyway, why not have a little fun? Maybe trigger a little rage-induced TIA and watch him reboot like McConnell.
Right to his bloated face-vagina.
Hey media, he's just gonna insult you anyway, why not have a little fun? Maybe trigger a little rage-induced TIA and watch him reboot like McConnell.
November 28, 2025 at 9:33 PM
At some point a reporter is just gonna say screw it and drop a well-placed F-bomb on Trump.
Right to his bloated face-vagina.
Hey media, he's just gonna insult you anyway, why not have a little fun? Maybe trigger a little rage-induced TIA and watch him reboot like McConnell.
Right to his bloated face-vagina.
Hey media, he's just gonna insult you anyway, why not have a little fun? Maybe trigger a little rage-induced TIA and watch him reboot like McConnell.
With a face like Kim Gargoyle, every day IS Halloween.
November 27, 2025 at 7:44 PM
With a face like Kim Gargoyle, every day IS Halloween.
MAGA never took geography.
November 26, 2025 at 4:06 AM
MAGA never took geography.
China: "Hold my Tsingtao"
November 25, 2025 at 8:40 PM
China: "Hold my Tsingtao"
Regardless of his reaction, at least we can count on Kash *looking* surprised.
a man in a suit and tie with an arrow pointing up
ALT: a man in a suit and tie with an arrow pointing up
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Regardless of his reaction, at least we can count on Kash *looking* surprised.
I want warning signs removed from ramps. Let em roll, I say.
a man in a military uniform talks to a man in a suit in front of a banner that says " the guardian "
ALT: a man in a military uniform talks to a man in a suit in front of a banner that says " the guardian "
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 7:23 PM
I want warning signs removed from ramps. Let em roll, I say.
Kash Patel: When you've chosen to have only one facial expression for the rest of your life, and it's only appropriate at surprise parties and when receiving bad news from your doctor.
November 25, 2025 at 6:41 PM
Kash Patel: When you've chosen to have only one facial expression for the rest of your life, and it's only appropriate at surprise parties and when receiving bad news from your doctor.
I don't get it, tell me
Moor.
Also, Shakespeare's writing in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" was underrated.
Moor.
Also, Shakespeare's writing in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" was underrated.
November 24, 2025 at 5:08 PM
I don't get it, tell me
Moor.
Also, Shakespeare's writing in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" was underrated.
Moor.
Also, Shakespeare's writing in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" was underrated.
"We have always been at war with Eastasia"
November 24, 2025 at 12:26 AM
"We have always been at war with Eastasia"
I see a man who wants to serve his constituents.
And also some guy in a chair.
And also some guy in a chair.
November 21, 2025 at 11:35 PM
I see a man who wants to serve his constituents.
And also some guy in a chair.
And also some guy in a chair.
Divisive?
"We wouldn't want to divide ourselves from the Nazis"
-USCG
"We wouldn't want to divide ourselves from the Nazis"
-USCG
November 20, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Divisive?
"We wouldn't want to divide ourselves from the Nazis"
-USCG
"We wouldn't want to divide ourselves from the Nazis"
-USCG
The "quiet, piggy" and "fire his ass" guy can't appreciate someone running their mouth?
What a soft little bitch.
What a soft little bitch.
November 20, 2025 at 7:02 PM
The "quiet, piggy" and "fire his ass" guy can't appreciate someone running their mouth?
What a soft little bitch.
What a soft little bitch.
"30 days" is the new "two weeks"
November 19, 2025 at 8:00 PM
"30 days" is the new "two weeks"
We need to Ctrl-Z all of that once Trump is impeached/sent to the Hague/dies on the toilet.
November 19, 2025 at 7:57 PM
We need to Ctrl-Z all of that once Trump is impeached/sent to the Hague/dies on the toilet.
Thats Impossible Star Wars GIF
ALT: Thats Impossible Star Wars GIF
media.tenor.com
November 18, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Razor denier, hat enthusiast, and world's most easily-defeated Bond villain Clay Higgins?
November 18, 2025 at 7:52 PM
Razor denier, hat enthusiast, and world's most easily-defeated Bond villain Clay Higgins?