The Absudist’s Cookbook
@billyclayten.bsky.social
Adequately talented and imperturbably unmotivated. Bluesky’s most prominent mal vivant.
People talk about how problematic Baby It’s Cold Outside is, but no one talks about Holly Jolly Christmas. Burl Ives asks a dude to kiss his girl for him. That’s super creepy too.
December 15, 2025 at 5:15 AM
People talk about how problematic Baby It’s Cold Outside is, but no one talks about Holly Jolly Christmas. Burl Ives asks a dude to kiss his girl for him. That’s super creepy too.
Panda Express really hits the spot when you’re craving room temperature Chinese food with a hair in it.
December 10, 2025 at 2:17 AM
Panda Express really hits the spot when you’re craving room temperature Chinese food with a hair in it.
In no disrespect for the Oval Office; but in total respect for the loving relationship that Barrack and Michelle have, I hope that they had amazing sex in there at least once.
November 14, 2025 at 3:27 AM
In no disrespect for the Oval Office; but in total respect for the loving relationship that Barrack and Michelle have, I hope that they had amazing sex in there at least once.
Now I believe, and I am confident that I’m not alone on this, that the most jolting and horrifying sensation in life is the splash back on a public toilet.
September 7, 2025 at 9:12 AM
Now I believe, and I am confident that I’m not alone on this, that the most jolting and horrifying sensation in life is the splash back on a public toilet.
45 : border wall :: 47 : golden dome
May 22, 2025 at 3:46 AM
45 : border wall :: 47 : golden dome
“Maybe the children will have two dolls instead of thirty dolls” is the late-stage capitalism version of “let them eat cake.”
May 1, 2025 at 1:40 AM
“Maybe the children will have two dolls instead of thirty dolls” is the late-stage capitalism version of “let them eat cake.”
People are saying that JD Vance killed the Pope. It’s not fair to say that JD Vance killed the Pope. They are only saying that JD Vance killed the Pope because JD Vance visited the Pope and the Pope died the next day. That’s not proof that JD Vance killed the Pope.
April 22, 2025 at 5:11 AM
People are saying that JD Vance killed the Pope. It’s not fair to say that JD Vance killed the Pope. They are only saying that JD Vance killed the Pope because JD Vance visited the Pope and the Pope died the next day. That’s not proof that JD Vance killed the Pope.
Watching Top Secret! in honor of Val and I just have to ask, where would the Zucker Boobers be without their broth jokes?
April 20, 2025 at 9:23 AM
Watching Top Secret! in honor of Val and I just have to ask, where would the Zucker Boobers be without their broth jokes?
I’m pretty sure that if you say all of Elon’s kids’ names in a row, you can activate the Winter Soldier.
March 31, 2025 at 3:55 AM
I’m pretty sure that if you say all of Elon’s kids’ names in a row, you can activate the Winter Soldier.
I’ve lost so much weight that I can see my junk again! I had forgotten what it looked like from a top-down angle.
Honestly? I’m not impressed.
Honestly? I’m not impressed.
March 25, 2025 at 4:40 AM
I’ve lost so much weight that I can see my junk again! I had forgotten what it looked like from a top-down angle.
Honestly? I’m not impressed.
Honestly? I’m not impressed.
I am grateful for the wonderfully close relationship that I have with my adult son. I’m also grateful that we aren’t as close as Mike Johnson and his son.
March 8, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I am grateful for the wonderfully close relationship that I have with my adult son. I’m also grateful that we aren’t as close as Mike Johnson and his son.
Being a ‘Bill’, a lot of people shout the theme song to Bill Nye The Science Guy at me whenever I walk into a room. In a way, they’re calling me ‘Bill Nye’. Just once though, I’d like to be referred to as ‘Mr Wizard’.
March 2, 2025 at 6:19 PM
Being a ‘Bill’, a lot of people shout the theme song to Bill Nye The Science Guy at me whenever I walk into a room. In a way, they’re calling me ‘Bill Nye’. Just once though, I’d like to be referred to as ‘Mr Wizard’.
$11,000 later and I realize that teeth are luxury bones here in the US. My amazing dental plan paid $250 of it.
February 25, 2025 at 8:08 PM
$11,000 later and I realize that teeth are luxury bones here in the US. My amazing dental plan paid $250 of it.
Forget Allan Lane, Bamboo Harvester was the real star.
February 20, 2025 at 5:22 PM
Forget Allan Lane, Bamboo Harvester was the real star.
When exactly did goth become a sexy look? In the early to mid-90’s, when I was in high school, it was mostly about depressing music, Vampire The Masquerade, clove cigarettes and pissing off your parents.
February 20, 2025 at 6:05 AM
When exactly did goth become a sexy look? In the early to mid-90’s, when I was in high school, it was mostly about depressing music, Vampire The Masquerade, clove cigarettes and pissing off your parents.