Blaine G. Woodturtle
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blainewoodturtle.bsky.social
Blaine G. Woodturtle
@blainewoodturtle.bsky.social
Mistress of wine and entertaining. Your rich aunt. Traded state's evidence a few times, don't ask questions and just accept the Birkin bag, dear
In the spirit of the holiday, here are a few things I remember:

-Grandmother
-Greenwich, CT
-Waldorf salad
-Assorted shadows
-The name of my first pet
-The lyrics to Uptown Girl
-Lobster bisque (taste)
-Lobster bisque (recipe)
-The screams
-Some bitch named Tiffany

Congratulations, Tiffany!
May 26, 2025 at 11:13 AM
I really should but I've already got a prior commitment to do all my yearly bowel movements on NYD
January 1, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Is the magic circle your blown out o ring or is this more of your Holly Marie Combs crap?
December 24, 2024 at 10:58 PM
I do love making a Japanese toilet question why it was made
December 23, 2024 at 4:17 AM
Waaaaaay out of your league tbh
December 23, 2024 at 4:16 AM
He was a CLASS ACT.
December 23, 2024 at 4:16 AM
Those wolves sure learned to stay away from MY hunting grounds
December 23, 2024 at 4:15 AM
Add a dash of saffron and I'll take 2!
December 23, 2024 at 4:13 AM
Look, I beat her dad's ass and I'll beat hers, and she knows it.
December 23, 2024 at 4:12 AM
I will assume my invite was neglected because you know I'd try to fight Brooke or have too much to say about the orange wine-- ITS JUST ROSÉ FOR WHORES THAT LEAVE PAINT DURING ANAL AND I'LL DIE ON THAT HILL
December 20, 2024 at 12:47 PM
Get a PS5 out of it too
December 20, 2024 at 12:11 PM
I DO look stunning in a dire wolf mantle, THANK YOU. It is nice of people to notice, especially after I stalked and skinned the beast myself
December 20, 2024 at 5:10 AM
Flashback to your thing with King Kong Bundy, possibly?
December 20, 2024 at 5:08 AM