For a self-proclaimed rags to riches success story, Vance seems really out of touch with how average Americans live.

Yeah, in reality, this would go out of service in like a year or two at best.

Losing St. Louis was a hard bargain, but Missouri got to gobble up five other states, so I think we came out ahead in the end.

Folks on the internet seem to have a hard time understanding hyperbole.

I really want to know how this conversation went, because it can't have been a realization he came to on his own. Someone had to have told him about his sins, and all he could think of was, "Okay, so how many good deeds do I need here? Two? Three?"

Interesting idea, handing over the Danegeld. Surely the invader won't come right back immediately and ask for more. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danegeld

"Why are people charging Crime Man with so many crimes? It seems suspicious."

It does seem weird that there isn't even a Styrofoam panel between the box and the device. But also, why are they stapling receipts directly to the products?

This reads like, "You're not doing it right unless you're absolutely miserable like me."

The movie starred well-known actors, it was based on an IP that's massively popular with both kids and adults, and it was heavily advertised across multiple platforms. The more shocking thing would have been if it'd failed, despite all that.

This cretin has clearly never had a day in his life where he had to do his own shopping.

Where I feel like this whole thing broke down was when the supposed "checks and balances" realized they could accomplish their goals by collusion. When the legislature and the courts are bought by the party in charge, there is no limit on the president's power.