It was actually The Friendship Light. I got to the end but got confused once the narrator started talking directly to the reader, so I decided to reread it. Then I realized everything he mentions at the end ties into the beginning.

I also need to find people to talk to at some point, because my current state of isolation isn't great for my mental health, but the last time I compromised my intellectual needs to socialize I ended up with an entire friend group that gaslit me into a nervous breakdown.

Because on the one hand I need to work on my quantitative skills to develop my research, but I also need to develop story telling skills to get information in the hands of regular people.

The other issue is a lot of what I’m interested in doesn’t have a lot of existing research. I’m either breaking new ground or wasting time on a fools errand.

I know, but it’s still embarrassing. I’d like to either leave the state to earn second masters to flesh out my ideas or stay here and do a PhD.

I understand I have a good grasp of the fundamentals and my equations have been triple checked, but I want to hear specifically what I am doing well so I know going forward.