Campus police. What's that? (Asking for all European universities).

Later, when Joseph mistakenly cuts a plank too short, Jesus helpfully grows it by an extra foot, so that Joseph doesn't have to cut another one.

Scholars record this as the moment when the young Jesus learns it's better not to be an arsehole.

3/3

For instance, he brings a dried fish to life and he turns mud pigeons into real birds. He kills his playmates when they laugh at him and blinds their parents for complaining but then he reverses it all when Mary and Joseph tell him to behave himself.

2/3

I was with you right up to the silly jibe about aluminium.

Read up on the history of that word. You'll discover that its spelling was a matter of much debate, with the Brits opting to go one way and the Americans another.

There are plenty of reasons to criticise them. This isn't one.

Fine-looking man, though.

A councillor? Jesus, they went right to the top there, didn't they?

What Americans think of as extreme radical Left, we in Europe think of as governing with decency.

Seen from the rest of the world, there is no Left in the US.

Just Right and further Right.

He was afraid someone else would do it and snag his wig.

Imagine the international fallout as redneck cops taser all those Eurolib soccer fans for talkin' funny an' shit.

Have you spoken to these boomers personally?

Most Americans wouldn't be able to find America on a map of America.

Imagine waking up next to either of them.

America, you are lost.

Who remembers that question in the Brexit referendum?

"Do you want to leave the customs union?"

No.

Neither do I.

No Protestants back then.

But we're all Protestants now, Father!