I'm spending the rest of the day writing a fanfic about Vine and TikTok boinking each other in every single way.

Watching cheese videos on Xiaohongshu makes me feel like I missed my calling as a cheesemonger.

This guy on Wheel of Fortune said his priorities in order were the NY Giants, his family, then breathing. I’m sure his family is so appreciative 🙄

Target get better at sticker placement 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Word of the day is ‘librocubicularist’: one who loves nothing better than reading in bed.

(Not easy to say, but I’m glad to know it exists).

Watching Harry Potter: Wizards of Baking. Warwick Davis is a guest host. Not gonna lie he has aged well. He’s quite handsome.

Co-parenting means having to wait for your always late ex to show up for appoints for the kids and having to explain why you’re here on time but he isn’t. 🤦🏼‍♀️ bonus points if your ex neighbor works in the office and doesn’t know you’re separated.

I just broke a mirror. I’m also a new witch. Am I superstitious?

Sometimes I wonder what motivates non-coffee drinkers to get out of bed.

Probably some sort of pulley system.

Why is this happening at hotel breakfast?

P!NK!!!!!!!! I’m so happy I could pee 😝

I’m only going two hours away for less than 24 hours. Why do I pack like I’m going on a month long expedition?

That’s my puppy dog