Here you go. Feel free to put it in your bio.

I was curious about my local theater. The first time I checked I thought "who buys second row seats"? Then I looked at the other times, and something seems fishy.

I don't wish for anyone's death, and cancer is just a horrible ordeal for all involved.

Also...

You will be visited by three spirits.

Very red small town, Brenham, TX. This is from a FB account, but I forget whose.