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Brainmist

@brainmist.bsky.social

1K followers 520 following 12K posts

FIX YOUR HEART OR DIE Or don't be surprised when better people commemorate your empty, torn down boots. This is a federal health/ safety/ regulatory agency appreciation account. (Formerly @axlizzie on Twitter)

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Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · Nov 12

*queues up Billy Joel*
No more invites, Alf hog
Pictures of your cat or dog
Welcome newskies with hot tips
Block all Musk and Trumpster drips!

Toggle so you write alt text,
Toggle off to see less sex.
Share a pic of your new look,
Brag a bit and skeet your book!

bsky.app/profile/brai...

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · Nov 10

You can make sure you don't forget by requiring alt text!

Go to Settings, Accessibility, and just toggle that reminder, and you're set!

Screenshot of Accessibility menu, showing the "Require alt text before posting" turned on.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 20m

You apparently aren't familiar with JK Rowling's town, Terfchestershire*.

It's pronounced "Frank".

*(In Cissex County)

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 1h

Clearly half her DNA is Groucho Marx.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 2h

😮 Trying not to take that personally!

And no.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 2h

It's been waaaay too little hee hee the past decade.

Kenzie ✨ @notknz.is.tall.fyi · 10h

Little cartoon of a pumpkin guy. On the left is a happy pumpkin guy, on the right a sad pumpkin guy. Text reads “I have two moods: Hee hee. Not hee hee.”
By @qian.dreaming on IG

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 2h

Nah, see, it's Haby Askorpis. And he's wracking his brain trying to remember if he knows a Russian gangster by that name.

Reposted by Brainmist

TrustedReveler @trustedreveler.bsky.social · 1d

LA: we will fight you.

Chicago: we will fight you.

PDX: we will make you endure week after week of of improv theater.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 3h

Fair point.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 4h

Except the girl isn't a trafficked, underage teenager.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 5h

Someone should probably alert the VP of Anteefa that they're coming.

www.tiktok.com/@dannykberns...

It's time I came clean. #HaventSeen #PlantTikTok #antifa #leftist #gay #gaytiktok #bi #comedy #music #trans #politics #trump #biden2020 #fyp #foryou

TikTok video by Danny K Bernstein

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 5h

Hello, I am antifa's official Court Astrologer, and, looking towards the heavens to see what they can tell us, I can say with certainty that there are just waaaay too many fucking Starlink satellites up there, and we should stop funding billionaires to fuck up the planet and buy politicians.

Reposted by Brainmist

derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 6h

“A second inflatable frog has now been spotted wiggling through Portland.”

Marco Rubio whispers into Donald Trump's ear.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 6h

😄 The dog who got the "Truth Hurts" parody was also unimpressed, and would grunt his disapproval.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 6h

It's the same delusion some people had that Trump would, if elected, magically transform to meet the stature of the office.

And no.

People who go after power and immunity because they want the power to abuse people and immunity from consequences? have no incentive to change.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 6h

She went back up the pipe, and only the end of her leash was visible.

I don't think people could have found her, she was so hidden.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 6h

She'd gone up a very small drain pipe right near where her owners' car had crashed. We were stopping every few minutes to howl; I suspect that's what drew her out.

My dog saw her first, and was so excited he pulled me to my knees, shredded my leash hand, and tried to drag me through a fence.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 6h

I have composed multiple parody songs for my dogs, including "Part of Your Work", "Wet Mouth Puppy", "Truth Hurts" that starts with "Why dogs great 'til they stand on my face".....

I don't even understand how someone can avoid composing random songs about your pets.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 6h

I was able to stay up to date on a lost, very young puppy about half an hour away and, when people searching hadn't turned her up after a day (in fairly cold weather), I drove my puppy-loving dog out to search.

He found her in 15 minutes, alive and kicking.

Conrad Hackett @conradhackett.bsky.social · 1d

Has anything great happened in your life because of social media?

Reposted by Brainmist

Chris Kluwe @chriswarcraft.bsky.social · 8h

Pretty sure Eleanor Roosevelt is dead

Bobby Silverman @robertsilverman.bsky.social · 9h

Bondi claiming they arrested [checks notes] "the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa" has me in stitches

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 9h

Bondi: "Bondi: "Just like we did with cartels, we are going to take the same approach, President Trump, with antifa -- destroy the entire organization from top to bottom. We are going to take them apart."

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 7h

Illinois has a lot of towns named after famous cities.... which are then mispronounced.

And then there's Des Plaines.

In Illinois.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 7h

People who think like Dolly tend not to become/ stay billionaires.

Which is one more point in Dolly's favor, and one more against billionaires.

Reposted by Brainmist

𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @sundaedivine.bsky.social · 8h

Every Trump Q&A sounds like Clippy trying to overthrow democracy.

Clippy

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 7h

What if all the solar gets used up and the sun goes out?? WHAT THEN, GREENIES??

(I briefly joked that the 2020 midwestern derecho was a wind spill, and then I realized some Trumpsters would believe it.)

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 7h

I told my parents at least a decade ago they needed to stop watching Fox news. They would have it on constantly in the background.

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 9h

Are you suggesting Trump has insurrectile dysfunction?

Brainmist @brainmist.bsky.social · 10h

Me (watching Halo): Hmm, not really familiar but this seems neat.

Halo: *introduces an AI that wasn't requested or want, and forces its way into everything to "help"*

Me: *click*

(This is a sound old TVs used to make when turned off.)