J. Puma
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broccoliwizard.bsky.social
J. Puma
@broccoliwizard.bsky.social
He/Him | Cynic | Urban Forager | PNW Plant Nerd | Liminal Cartographer | Actually a Wizard | 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸

broccoliwizard.com | Liminal.earth
The best thing about the monthly Joketellers Union at Clockout Lounge is the elevated, almost epistemological level of the humor. They’re also always willing to address the major anxieties we all share.
January 15, 2026 at 7:15 PM
Timeline cleanse! Someone finally found and removed the squeaker and then just *zonked.* All of this disembowelment can really tire a girl out.
January 15, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Sometimes whatever passes for an algorithm here truly delivers (and yes I know what "foxing" is vis-a-vis books). 🦊
January 14, 2026 at 1:26 AM
New year altar cleaning completed! Now for a fresh round of ironic curses and baneful doom castings.
January 10, 2026 at 10:29 PM
This is his “I solemnly swear I have swallowed my morning pills and am not hiding them in my cheeks to spit out later” face. But the smirk gives it away….
January 9, 2026 at 6:24 PM
That didn't work either.
January 8, 2026 at 9:14 PM
Here's a list of some of the most common "tells" that I had to compile for work. It's weird because once you start recognizing the tells, you start realizing how much of it there is out there now.
January 8, 2026 at 7:51 PM
I keep buying things like this (I like high protein savory snacks) without checking the ingredients. Then when I get home to try it, I realize far too late that they’re SWEET. There’s more sugar in here than my kids breakfast cereal. What the flying hell?!
January 8, 2026 at 7:19 PM
This account is a master class for anyone interested in learning to spot AI videos. A great way to “see” AI is to watch it along with content that’s not AI; the differences start to become obvious even if you can’t explain why.
January 8, 2026 at 7:48 AM
“When I take her for a walk, I like to have a smoke.”
January 4, 2026 at 9:15 PM
Reading some of Mark Twain’s anti-imperialist writings today and damn if they don’t still hit.

en.wikisource.org/wiki/To_the_...
January 4, 2026 at 5:37 PM
I have never voted for a politician who gets this before and it’s very exciting. This is the Seattle I want for me and for my kid and also for everyone who loves this place. You should read @mayorofseattle.bsky.social’s entire speech:

wilson.seattle.gov/2026/01/02/m...
January 2, 2026 at 10:45 PM
The Awakening of ACHO

(mainly an experiment with Procreate’s capabilities but kind of fun and weird)
January 1, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Haven’t decided on a New Year’s resolution yet? Here’s one you can have for free.

If you have any pots or pans like this*, replace them as soon as possible with stainless steel, ceramic, glass, anything not coated in poison. 🧵

(*this is not my pot)
December 31, 2025 at 2:44 AM
You, too, can play-pretend the mass incineration of 200000 human lives, just as Christ commands us.
December 30, 2025 at 7:05 PM
The Broccoli Wizard has a quest for those who are courageous and true. WILL YOU ACCEPT?
December 26, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Rosemary was jealous of Emmett’s stylish glasses but was chuffed when she got a pair of her own. Mlem!
December 26, 2025 at 1:52 AM
We have a pair that regularly visit our feeders! Incredible and beautiful birds— we’re so lucky to have them as neighbors. Here’s one at our suet feeder (apologies for the messy window).
December 25, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Rubio is like the coked-out wheeler dealer character "Ellis," from Die Hard. And likely just as competent at "negotiations."
December 23, 2025 at 10:46 PM
Happy Solstice, and Helmoquinth, Anthuor!
December 21, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Rosemary Jones (wip)
December 21, 2025 at 6:38 PM
If you are in Seattle you owe it to yourself to experience Sugar Plum Gary at the Annex on Cap Hill. If you’re not in Seattle, snag some livestream tickets. www.annextheatre.org/sugar-plum-g...
December 20, 2025 at 6:52 AM
dang, the chickpeas are here (#wip)
December 14, 2025 at 6:02 AM
Caught this shifty character trying to sneak down the chimney….
December 13, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Okay that’s quite enough for now. Wake me when something actually happens other than Blue MAGA grifters posting engagement bait.
December 8, 2025 at 1:27 AM