My parents are watching through CSI Miami and I completely forgot how unhinged that show was. Somewhere in the past 20 years we lost this level of murder porn.

I'm gonna sin my ass off with this one.

Everyone who follows me and lives in Chicago, stay safe.

I love listening to my father preach because it inevitably leads to him bringing up the socialist and anarchist parts of the Bible that we've been conditioned to ignore.

I'm in LA for a brief moment and I'm already tempted to complain about every single stereotypical LA trope. Mainly just upset at the sheer volume of cars here and everything being incredibly dense but spread out because cars NEED to be there.

Every time I go to the New Orleans area for the holidays I'm reminded how an unmitigated disaster entirely car based infrastructure is, especially when there's an active effort to make it a terrible experience. Stroads, bizarre lane layout, highways to connect towns right next to each other.

You better fucking subscribe to The Onion. This is the kind of thing we will do with your money.

It allowed us to buy InfoWars. Now help us staff it.

membership.theonion.com

The Onion winning the auction for Info Wars is good news that I will milk for months. What I need to know now is: did they also win custody of Chase in the divorce?