‘Blue, the colour of a sunny day, tropical waters, and the very hottest stars, is the cold colour. Red, the lowest-energy visible wavelength, is the hot colour. Look, that's simply how everyone does it and you'd stand out if you tried to be sensible about it now.’

‘You're going to be surrounded by people pretending they enjoy moving the weights around. I don't know why they lie about something so demonstrably wrong. All I can tell you is it gets results after fucking forever.’

‘Octave means eight, which is irrelevant I'M SORRY. There are 12 semitones I'M SORRY named after 7 letters I'M SORRY but C is the first one I'M SO SORRY. You have to know which direction you're going in between the letters LOOK I KNOW, ALRIGHT? YOU'RE DOING REALLY WELL.’

Just pop on a lovely, cooling fur suit to balance the temperature.

stealing paintings from museums will soon be considered just another tool in the artist's toolbelt

How do you topple a road?

I remember watching this! Sort of. I was 6, so when I learnt about and saw the single-frame flashes of faces, I thought it was terrifying and refused to watch the rest.

Oh my god