@warframe.com How do you madmen keep making Ballas even more detestable whenever he shows his ugly mug? You've perfected the art of making a very punchable bastard. SSS+ Villain, sad I can't make him burn up in the fires of the sun again.

I'm unable to write. On the one hand, that likely means progress, on the other, I can't get my head out of the why I'm unable to write. I'm worrying over every single little detail and I need to stop doing that. But like. How. I leak purple prose everywhere, details are my thing. So how stop?

I just realized why I see myself with no self-worth. I can't see the impact I've made on others, so I think I've had no effect on reality. And in my poorly wired brain, no impact=no worth.
So because I can't see how I effect others, I can't see myself having any kind of worth. WTF brain.

eeeeeheheheheh my new collars have arrived. IDK why my brain settled on them being grounding items, but didn't realize how soothing it was for me to wear one until I tried my old ones on and they were too darn small to wear comfortably.

The new ones are not.
I feel my brain calming down.

Finally admitting that my collars are too small and mad about it. I am able to get replacements, but ingrained 'purity' bullshit is kinda getting in my way.

Thankfully I've got friends who've taken a home-run bat to that stupidity. Now I'm just debating getting a matching leash for symbolism.

I'm suffering, today and the next two days are gonna suck, mere existence will be pulling goddamned TEETH.

So this is my quiet way of asking to nag your local depressed fuck to take care of themselves for mostly tomorrow as I do have some plans for the 11th.

Imma go get myself some soda to sob in.

Mmmmm love when the whole day's fucked all 'cause you remember your anxiety nightmares so you wake up already overstimulated.

I am so fucking tired but my brain is so paranoia wired idk if I'll be able to sleep at all.

Smacking my head repeatedly into the nearest pillar as I want to write. I know what I want to write. But the one time Motivation returns, Inspiration has decided to fuck off entirely! To a completely different genre! Get back here, damn you! I have character interactions and philosophizing to write!

My sides are in orbit, the Silksong hype is so strong that Steam Itself is Suffering right now from all the folks trying to buy it. (Me included.)
The servers beg for mercy, but the fans will not relent....

back on my f2p FFXIV bullshit, and I spent most of yesterday leveling Miner specifically to get my own shards for cooking as no marketplace board/limited funds.

I already slept 12 hours what do you mean I'm tired again. Why. (12-12 essentially.)

It should not take six whole gigabytes of ram to simply have youtube open, with no videos running. But it does. I can entirely blame that on the new AI shit. It did not lag my gaming this severely until that shit went live.

Noooooooooo my fucking laptop killed itself mere HOURS before #TennoCon !

Arrrgh now I gotta cope with a tablet screen and ADS.

And seeing as I know it’s the motherboard that died, I still have a lot of parts that are reusable. Anyone got a place one can buy partial laptops?

no i will not "ask chat gpt" i will be scrolling Wikipedia with whimsical abandon like god intended

Let's run together :3

#warframe