Chris B
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burchris.bsky.social
Chris B
@burchris.bsky.social
870 followers 500 following 12K posts
Wrote a few horror movies with names like HALLOW'S END and CANNIBAL TABOO (if you've seen either all the way through, I commend you).

Pro-humanity, Anti-theist, Anti-centrist. I have a cat.

Enough already.
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burchris.bsky.social
There aren't many people who could sit so still and be so silly.
Snowball, a brown-and-white cat with blue eyes, lounges confidently on a dark teal bedsheet. He’s lying on his side with one back leg stretched out and his front paws tucked slightly inward like little mittens. Behind him is a red bookshelf filled with books, a white laundry basket, a box fan, and part of a desk with soft blue accent lighting. Snowball gazes directly at the camera with a calm, regal expression.
December 10, 2025 at 3:08 PM
burchris.bsky.social
No, no, no, 'THESPIAN."
A black-and-white still of the Devil character from Roger Corman’s The Undead. He has a pointed goatee, arched eyebrows, and wild, gleaming eyes as he grins maniacally toward the camera. He wears dark clothing and a cap, framed by tangled branches in the background. He holds in front of him a massive three-pronged pitchfork.
December 9, 2025 at 10:52 PM
burchris.bsky.social
Well, that sounds ominous.

Am I cursed now? Is this like The Ring?
A screenshot from the WIRED website. At the top is the WIRED logo in bold black block letters, next to a minimalist menu icon and user icon. To the right is the word “SUBSCRIBE” in blue capital letters. At the bottom, a dark blue and purple graphic features the WIRED logo and the words “INNER LOOP” in a stylized, blocky font with abstract geometric shapes behind it. Just above that, large centered text reads: “You’ve read your last free article.”
December 9, 2025 at 5:38 PM
burchris.bsky.social
We survived this morning's bout of patio-induced zoomies. I mostly just let him wear himself out. He seemed calm-ish when I was ready to carry him in, but just touchy enough that I still held him at arm's length like he was a beaker of nitro glycerin.
December 9, 2025 at 4:53 PM
burchris.bsky.social
Wow, I misremembered so much about this film.

For one thing, I could have sworn it was older.
Screenshot of a Wikipedia search drop-down for FIGHT CLUB, but this FIGHT CLUB is a 2023 Indian film by Abbas A. Rahmath.
December 9, 2025 at 7:48 AM
burchris.bsky.social
Look who finally put in an appearance after ghosting me half the night.
A dimly lit photo of Snowball, a brown-and-white Siamese cat. He sits alert on a bed. His face is mostly in shadow except for a small highlight on his nose and whiskers. His chest and front legs are bright white, contrasting sharply with the darker room behind him. In the background, a fan and bookcase are faintly visible.
December 9, 2025 at 5:03 AM
burchris.bsky.social
I don't know how he manages it but every damn time that cat jumps on my keyboard, he opens Apple Music.
A Mac desktop screen showing the Apple Music app launch window centered in front of a blurred blue and white ocean-themed wallpaper. The pop-up reads “What’s New in Apple Music” with icons and bullet points about new features, and a red “Start Listening” button at the bottom.
December 9, 2025 at 4:56 AM
burchris.bsky.social
One of these days, these boots are gonna walk all over you...
A screenshot of a Twitter exchange. A tweet from Nancy Sinatra (@NancySinatra), featuring her profile photo and a verified blue checkmark, quote-tweets Darin Cotton (@nibiruman), also verified, who says: “Your Dad would have loved Trump.” Sinatra’s reply to him is: “Do some homework before you make a fool of yourself. My dad LOATHED trump.” The timestamp at the bottom notes the tweet was last edited at 5:26 PM on December 5, 2025, and has 11.4 million views.
December 9, 2025 at 4:54 AM
burchris.bsky.social
All these gaudy gold tchotchkes he collects look like terrible cheese sculptures.
Two large gold-colored trophies sit prominently on the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office. The trophy on the left, labeled “FIFA Peace Prize 2023,” features a shiny, globe-shaped top supported by multiple sculpted hands reaching upward — an elaborate, overly ornate design that appears visually heavy and cluttered. To its right is a replica of the FIFA World Cup trophy, with a similarly glossy, exaggerated golden finish.
December 9, 2025 at 3:27 AM
burchris.bsky.social
Hey Netflix, come get your truck.
View from inside a bus, looking out a slightly dirty window toward traffic on a sunny day. A large white box truck with a Warner Bros. (WB) shield logo printed on the driver’s door is stopped in the lane outside.
December 9, 2025 at 12:28 AM
burchris.bsky.social
It'll be Silvester before you know it!
A classic cartoon image of Sylvester the Cat from Looney Tunes. He stands upright against a simple tan background, arms stretched out to the sides with his fingers splayed. His wide eyes and open mouth give him a startled or anxious expression. He’s depicted in his familiar black-and-white fur with a big red nose and long tail tipped in white.
December 8, 2025 at 10:32 PM
burchris.bsky.social
If the Mandela Effect is imagining something that never happened, then something happening that you never imagined must be the reverse of that. I had no idea that Lara Flynn Boyle a) dated David Spade and b) cheated on him with Jack Nicholson. That's at least three different universes colliding.
A cropped screenshot of the “Personal life” section from a Wikipedia article. The text describes actress Lara Flynn Boyle’s past relationships, including dating Twin Peaks co-star Kyle MacLachlan, marrying John Patrick Dee III, dating actors David Spade and Jack Nicholson, and details about a paparazzi-covered car crash and their public appearance at the 1999 Emmys. It concludes by noting her second husband, Donald Ray Thomas II, whom she married in San Antonio, Texas.
December 8, 2025 at 3:52 AM
burchris.bsky.social
He's become increasingly prone to bouts of violence and uncontrollable behavior during our outside time. It got pretty bad after this, and he was hissing and swatting at me even after I carried him indoors (which is unusual for him). I may suspend his walk privileges for a few days.
December 7, 2025 at 5:05 PM
burchris.bsky.social
Here it is during a home invasion.
A view looking out of a window that is framed by a white sill and yellow walls. the windowsill is lined with a collection of various-sized blue glass bottles. outside a lush, green landscape of trees and hills stretches out under a clear blue sky. a small, colorful mobile hangs in the upper center of the window frame. above the window is a shelf with a collection of vintage sifters. Photoshopped into the scene, at the bottom of the image, is the top of the head Massachusetts Tv meteorologist Brian Lapis, a goofy-looking, bespectacled man in his 30s or 40s, with kind of a wide head, short dark brown hair, and a dorky smile.
December 7, 2025 at 1:09 AM
burchris.bsky.social
I thought he was more of a smudgy green.
A scene from the 1964 sci-fi holiday film Santa Claus Conquers the Martians shows Droppo, a green-skinned Martian, dressed as Santa Claus, with a fluffy fake beard. Under his Santa outfit, he's wearing a shiny green Martian helmet with a glittery forehead plate, a curved hose, and two antennae. He stands indoors against a metallic, futuristic set wall.
December 7, 2025 at 1:05 AM
burchris.bsky.social
The preferred term is “fontanelle.”
Street-level exterior of a newly opened restaurant called “Chubby Dumplings.” A large banner above the entrance reads “SOFT OPENING.”
December 6, 2025 at 8:42 PM
burchris.bsky.social
This heifer got separated from the herd and found his own pasture to graze.
December 6, 2025 at 6:39 PM
burchris.bsky.social
The first time anybody in a movie audience ever yelled back at the screen was to say, "What the FUCK is a 'radio picture'?"
A vintage black-and-white studio logo shows a tall radio tower standing on top of a globe, with lightning-bolt style radio waves radiating from its tip into the sky. Stylized text reads “An RKO Radio Picture.” Puffy clouds surround the Earth, giving the image a dramatic, classic Hollywood feel.
December 6, 2025 at 5:56 PM
burchris.bsky.social
Wait till they release all the files about what happened on Riker's island.
A publicity photo of Jonathan Frakes as Commander William Riker, in a red and black Starfleet uniform, from “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” He has short dark hair, a neatly trimmed beard, and a confident smile. He is kneeling with one arm resting casually on his raised knee, and the Starfleet insignia pin is visible on his chest. The background is a softly lit, blue-grayish sci-fi backdrop.
December 6, 2025 at 2:42 AM
burchris.bsky.social
Trump doesn't deserve a prize but that photographer does.
A cringe-inducing news image shows Donald Trump onstage receiving what is labeled the “Inaugural FIFA Peace Prize.” He is wearing a navy suit with a red tie, holding a boxed medal being handed to him by someone off-camera. Trump appears to be looking at the medal with a slight smirk while holding a microphone in his other hand. He looks like the twisted freak he is, so old, feeble, and out-of-it that he has no idea where he is and is ready to fall over. Large white text across the top reads, “President Trump Awarded Inaugural FIFA Peace Prize.” At the bottom, the image credits “THE ATHLETIC” and photographer Brendan Smialowski/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images, with a small New York Times logo in the corner.
December 6, 2025 at 2:07 AM
burchris.bsky.social
Ooh... I know what I need to watch tonight.
A dark, snowy movie poster for the horror film “Sint” features a menacing figure dressed like a sinister version of Saint Nicholas. He sits on a white horse, holding a jagged, spiked staff, with his face obscured in shadow beneath a tall red bishop’s hat. A giant full moon glows behind him, illuminating the rooftops of a European city below. Snow swirls through the night sky. The title “SINT” appears in large gold letters near the bottom, with cast and crew credits beneath. Text indicates that the film is directed by Dick Maas.
December 5, 2025 at 11:11 PM
burchris.bsky.social
This is all very true.

What's also true is that we might have avoided this nightmare if this demented old prick's lust for genocide hadn't cost us our democracy.

I never want to hear from this racist fucking ghoul again.
A screenshot of a social media post featuring a still image of President Joe Biden speaking at a podium with the LGBTQ+ Victory Institute logo on the front. He is wearing a dark blue suit and a light blue tie, with a microphone in each hand. The Associated Press logo appears in the upper left of the image. Above the image, the caption reads: “Biden says Trump is ‘trying to distort and derail our fight for equality.’” The post is from the account @realtuckfrumper.bsky.social and includes a link to a YouTube video.
December 5, 2025 at 11:02 PM
burchris.bsky.social
Given how savagely Snowball was just biting my foot, him now using it as a pillow is the equivalent of Luke using the tauntaun's guts as a sleeping bag.
My POV of Snowball, my fluffy brown-and-white cat, stretched out asleep on a carpeted floor, his body pressed warmly against my bare feet. His white belly fur contrasts with his dark back, and his paws are relaxed as he naps comfortably in the sunlight.
December 5, 2025 at 5:57 PM
burchris.bsky.social
I was taking my laundry out of the basket and just as I was thinking that I really didn’t feel like showering, changing, and going out into the world, I turned around and saw Snowball curled up in my warm-from-the-dryer pants. He took the decision out of my hands, and now I can’t go out.

oh no
Snowball, a brown-and-white cat, is curled up sleeping on a rumpled-up pair of black jeans on a carpeted floor. Snowball's head is tucked down with his paws folded under his body. To the left is a light-colored knitted blanket, and a power cord runs along the wall in the background. A white bookcase is partially visible on the right side of the image.
December 4, 2025 at 8:51 PM
burchris.bsky.social
He's sleeping with his back to my belly, so typing's a challenge. He put his little paw over his eyes to shield them from the light of the iPad, but then uncovered them because he decided he wanted to watch the YouTube video I was looking at.
A close-up of Snowball, a fluffy brown-and-white cat curled up in sleep, paws pressed to his face as if snuggling them. His long whiskers and soft fur catch the low, warm lighting. Only one half-opened eye is barely visible, while the rest of his body fades into the dark background.
December 4, 2025 at 5:41 AM