Live Destroyed
@carlitohayes.bsky.social
Carlito Hayes:
Comedian, Writer, Musician (Death Metal)
Cheese
Whiskey and Metal
Unhinged
ADHD with a touch of 'tism'.
https://youtube.com/@livedestroyed?si=j-TCKyDGovqGwRzF
Comedian, Writer, Musician (Death Metal)
Cheese
Whiskey and Metal
Unhinged
ADHD with a touch of 'tism'.
https://youtube.com/@livedestroyed?si=j-TCKyDGovqGwRzF
"Kids say the darndest things" or "kids tell it like they see it". Yeah, but they also said "never grow up". So why when I do it I'm just an asshole. #fyp #life #logic #comedy #rickandmorty #question #kids #internalmonologue
May 29, 2025 at 3:50 AM
"Kids say the darndest things" or "kids tell it like they see it". Yeah, but they also said "never grow up". So why when I do it I'm just an asshole. #fyp #life #logic #comedy #rickandmorty #question #kids #internalmonologue
How to avoid headaches? Don't ask questions. #standupcomedy #nyc #human #logic #livedestroyed #comedy #truestory #yes #or #no #answer #question #life #dontaskquestions
May 22, 2025 at 11:40 PM
How to avoid headaches? Don't ask questions. #standupcomedy #nyc #human #logic #livedestroyed #comedy #truestory #yes #or #no #answer #question #life #dontaskquestions
Just doing some #crowdwork #fyp #comedy #nyc #standup #standupcomedy #goodvibes #panteratshirt #divebar #bar #barshow #cheers #crowdcheers #silly #jokes #funny #fun #reupload
May 20, 2025 at 11:47 PM
May 2, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Come out tonight to the 10pm at Greenwich Village Comedy Club 99 MacDougal.
April 28, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Come out tonight to the 10pm at Greenwich Village Comedy Club 99 MacDougal.
"Black Monday" you say? Good thing I bought all these Cobra Coins.
April 6, 2025 at 8:29 PM
"Black Monday" you say? Good thing I bought all these Cobra Coins.
Elmo is communist now? Welp... I'm done with y'all.
April 4, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Elmo is communist now? Welp... I'm done with y'all.
Everyone mad at Bill Burr for taking shots at a billionaire forgot we collectively hated the wealthy from The Great Depression until Reagan.
March 21, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Everyone mad at Bill Burr for taking shots at a billionaire forgot we collectively hated the wealthy from The Great Depression until Reagan.
February 16, 2025 at 11:40 PM
Me: I eat Skittles one at a time.
Her: (pulls panties back up)
Her: (pulls panties back up)
February 16, 2025 at 4:33 AM
Me: I eat Skittles one at a time.
Her: (pulls panties back up)
Her: (pulls panties back up)
If it ain't like this I don't want it. #happyvallentine'sday
February 13, 2025 at 10:08 PM
If it ain't like this I don't want it. #happyvallentine'sday
Me on Twitter: para Espanol marque cinco.
February 4, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Me on Twitter: para Espanol marque cinco.
I love watching people get owned on the internet.
February 4, 2025 at 12:06 AM
I love watching people get owned on the internet.
Ourbus is wild for this. Happy Black History Month I guess...🤷
February 1, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Ourbus is wild for this. Happy Black History Month I guess...🤷
January 28, 2025 at 10:37 PM
If the Doomsday Clock is right we won't need to worry about Medicaid. Just make sure you stock up on condoms. You don't want babies when you're hiding from mutants in an irradiated wasteland during Armageddon.
January 28, 2025 at 9:10 PM
If the Doomsday Clock is right we won't need to worry about Medicaid. Just make sure you stock up on condoms. You don't want babies when you're hiding from mutants in an irradiated wasteland during Armageddon.
Dear internet. Some of you need to log out and go make friends outside. This used to be a fun place and now it's just the news part two. Stop it.
January 27, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Dear internet. Some of you need to log out and go make friends outside. This used to be a fun place and now it's just the news part two. Stop it.
Her: Death by 'snu-snu'?
Me: N...yes.
Me: N...yes.
January 25, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Her: Death by 'snu-snu'?
Me: N...yes.
Me: N...yes.
On today's episode of: I Saw It and Now You Have To See It.
Bad tattoos no. 522:
Bad tattoos no. 522:
January 25, 2025 at 8:36 PM
On today's episode of: I Saw It and Now You Have To See It.
Bad tattoos no. 522:
Bad tattoos no. 522:
January 21, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Looks like SpaceX's Starship didn't 'star'. 'Unscheduled rapid disassembly'? Just say it blew up, because it fuckin' blew up. We have eyes. Fire and pieces? We all know what an explosion is. This is worse than "catastrophic failure", yeah you mean 'it's not supposed to do that'? No shit.
January 17, 2025 at 8:56 AM
Looks like SpaceX's Starship didn't 'star'. 'Unscheduled rapid disassembly'? Just say it blew up, because it fuckin' blew up. We have eyes. Fire and pieces? We all know what an explosion is. This is worse than "catastrophic failure", yeah you mean 'it's not supposed to do that'? No shit.
I won't be buying the Nintendo Switch 2 since Motorola announced a wearable phone. I can just shove it up my ass and literally be "play with power"
the nintendo logo is displayed on a dark blue background
ALT: the nintendo logo is displayed on a dark blue background
media.tenor.com
January 17, 2025 at 5:40 AM
I won't be buying the Nintendo Switch 2 since Motorola announced a wearable phone. I can just shove it up my ass and literally be "play with power"
I submit "This Is Why People Don't Talk To Me: A Documentary"
January 11, 2025 at 5:18 PM
I submit "This Is Why People Don't Talk To Me: A Documentary"