If my taters are raw AND wriggling, I might need to call a HAZMAT team 😂

a fantastic pick

I want this one 🙂

I’m gonna be that guy… “the time that is given us”

Tolkien used some tricksy old timey British phrasing 😅

Wait but that’s the best argument besides “I’m a tax payer!” It’s ironclad.

I tried to come up with a snappy joke type response… but I got nothing. That’s next level victim behavior combined with a hefty dose of bigotry.

For Frodo… but wait, have we considered reasoning with the army of Mordor? Sure, I may have lost my temper with the Mouth of Sauron, but what if we go back and try again? Maybe we can appeal to their shared humanity—or, uh, Orc-manity? Talking it through could save lives! No? Too late? Okay…

💀

I’m embarrassed for homeboy…that’s.. oof