*snip snip* get off my sand 🦀
@cauthons.bsky.social
shorty got so low. their life is spiraling down. shorty has hit rock bottom. || they/them || 🐦: MacTireDona
Pinned
every polar voyage has A Good Holiday, before they quite realize they're fucked, that is then followed by The Worst Holiday, where everyone knows it
yuna hollander, disbelieving: since your rookie season
yuna hollander, miserablely with a side of growing joy: since your rookie season
yuna hollander, miserablely with a side of growing joy: since your rookie season
December 30, 2025 at 3:46 AM
yuna hollander, disbelieving: since your rookie season
yuna hollander, miserablely with a side of growing joy: since your rookie season
yuna hollander, miserablely with a side of growing joy: since your rookie season
me: I crave validation
also me: /writes a fic for a fandom that is in the extremely low double digits
also me: /writes a fic for a fandom that is in the extremely low double digits
December 29, 2025 at 3:49 AM
me: I crave validation
also me: /writes a fic for a fandom that is in the extremely low double digits
also me: /writes a fic for a fandom that is in the extremely low double digits
had a dream that jesus was, like, passing out envelopes with eternal damnation/salvation details, but he was doing it by household? so when one guy who was visiting was like "where's mine?" he just...handed him the opinion section of a newspaper & ghosted
December 28, 2025 at 5:05 PM
had a dream that jesus was, like, passing out envelopes with eternal damnation/salvation details, but he was doing it by household? so when one guy who was visiting was like "where's mine?" he just...handed him the opinion section of a newspaper & ghosted
inside every movie is a ninety minute movie that is, arguably, better
December 27, 2025 at 3:43 AM
inside every movie is a ninety minute movie that is, arguably, better
TBT to when the BBC killed arthur & that guy from downton abbey on the same christmas
December 25, 2025 at 8:25 PM
TBT to when the BBC killed arthur & that guy from downton abbey on the same christmas
"stiff peaks" lmao like meringue
December 24, 2025 at 5:43 PM
"stiff peaks" lmao like meringue
looking at someone's 8-bit website listing star wars character ages with citation tags on each one so i can check their research: this is what the internet was made for
December 24, 2025 at 2:56 AM
looking at someone's 8-bit website listing star wars character ages with citation tags on each one so i can check their research: this is what the internet was made for
ofc they had to change the names, you birds—bruins are literally bears, the centaurs are only that so they shorten to the cens, voyageurs is just another way of saying "those french canadian fucks", it's all just bad puns & broad winks
December 23, 2025 at 4:23 PM
ofc they had to change the names, you birds—bruins are literally bears, the centaurs are only that so they shorten to the cens, voyageurs is just another way of saying "those french canadian fucks", it's all just bad puns & broad winks
i dont know a lot (any) french, but aren't the montreal canadiens just...the montreal guys who live there? the (in)hab(itant)s of quebec?
December 23, 2025 at 3:25 AM
i dont know a lot (any) french, but aren't the montreal canadiens just...the montreal guys who live there? the (in)hab(itant)s of quebec?
me, several months later, still awestruck at "women don't like the vehicle"
December 23, 2025 at 3:11 AM
me, several months later, still awestruck at "women don't like the vehicle"
book: here is the most broken-down, abused man possible
book: every joint is a minefield
book: he is thirty-two
book: & in great shape for a sportsball player
book: every joint is a minefield
book: he is thirty-two
book: & in great shape for a sportsball player
December 22, 2025 at 5:18 PM
book: here is the most broken-down, abused man possible
book: every joint is a minefield
book: he is thirty-two
book: & in great shape for a sportsball player
book: every joint is a minefield
book: he is thirty-two
book: & in great shape for a sportsball player
why are books so weird about penetrative sex: a six-part documentary where it's clear i don't want to know the answer
December 22, 2025 at 4:02 PM
why are books so weird about penetrative sex: a six-part documentary where it's clear i don't want to know the answer
something something the rise of sports romance as replacing(-ish) the absolute GLUT of police/military/spec-ops romance that drenched the market from the mid-aughts until about 2012
December 22, 2025 at 3:48 AM
something something the rise of sports romance as replacing(-ish) the absolute GLUT of police/military/spec-ops romance that drenched the market from the mid-aughts until about 2012
having now seen WAKE UP DEAD MAN i am once again seized with the desire for more COLUMBO-type media
December 21, 2025 at 3:43 AM
having now seen WAKE UP DEAD MAN i am once again seized with the desire for more COLUMBO-type media
my sister & i calling out to each other the summary of the next episode of MURDER, SHE WROTE with the deadly seriousness of people who are locked in to their local pbs affiliate's programming
December 20, 2025 at 3:26 PM
my sister & i calling out to each other the summary of the next episode of MURDER, SHE WROTE with the deadly seriousness of people who are locked in to their local pbs affiliate's programming
character: i don't like hospitals
me, at home: hey, buddy? you're gonna like dying even less
me, at home: hey, buddy? you're gonna like dying even less
December 20, 2025 at 5:27 AM
character: i don't like hospitals
me, at home: hey, buddy? you're gonna like dying even less
me, at home: hey, buddy? you're gonna like dying even less
my heated rivalry hot take is that these motherfuckers owe me for making me have to wear glasses so i can read their fucking text messages
December 20, 2025 at 5:16 AM
my heated rivalry hot take is that these motherfuckers owe me for making me have to wear glasses so i can read their fucking text messages
another teacher said that a student, "glazed them so bad they almost threw up", which is deeply funny and also a regular occurrence
December 19, 2025 at 4:55 AM
another teacher said that a student, "glazed them so bad they almost threw up", which is deeply funny and also a regular occurrence
make a "most-anticipated reads" list and it's just me listing the tbr pile currently staring me in the face
December 17, 2025 at 11:20 PM
make a "most-anticipated reads" list and it's just me listing the tbr pile currently staring me in the face
out here reading about standardized stair heights to calculate make-out angles, if anyone's asking
December 14, 2025 at 8:27 PM
out here reading about standardized stair heights to calculate make-out angles, if anyone's asking
i drink canned soda like it's going to run away, which also means that i burp it all up in less than a minute
December 14, 2025 at 1:56 AM
i drink canned soda like it's going to run away, which also means that i burp it all up in less than a minute
borrowing an ebook from the library that i've read before and that is sitting literally three feet away from me in paperback because Lamp Hard
December 13, 2025 at 6:07 AM
borrowing an ebook from the library that i've read before and that is sitting literally three feet away from me in paperback because Lamp Hard
me: one of these hockey boys goes for a figure skater now who tf was it
December 12, 2025 at 2:53 AM
me: one of these hockey boys goes for a figure skater now who tf was it
i feel like everyone with access to a publish button saw BRIDGERTON, thought "ah yes, this is what Romance Novels™️ are" & are now scandalized that the hockey show has shown them that the genre is not a monolith
December 11, 2025 at 2:57 AM
i feel like everyone with access to a publish button saw BRIDGERTON, thought "ah yes, this is what Romance Novels™️ are" & are now scandalized that the hockey show has shown them that the genre is not a monolith
there is a professional football team whose social media manager has produced SEVERAL psa style videos featuring the players reciting fun facts at seeming gun-point while their co-workers do matching half-baked lil skit type things & it is...everything
December 11, 2025 at 12:44 AM
there is a professional football team whose social media manager has produced SEVERAL psa style videos featuring the players reciting fun facts at seeming gun-point while their co-workers do matching half-baked lil skit type things & it is...everything