C3D@R
@cedarleaves.bsky.social
25, autistic, non-binary, too tired to write a better bio right now. I love Mario and all of his lil guys. Luigi, Rosalina and Shy Guy are my faves.
Currently obsessed with: Good Mythical Morning
Posting more to combat my fear of being perceived
Currently obsessed with: Good Mythical Morning
Posting more to combat my fear of being perceived
The blurred part is my last name. If anyone more informed can tell me if my dad’s explanation of Trevor’s job was just code word for ICE, please do. Civilian military sounds like bullshit to me. I’m tired. Hurt and angry but proud of myself for facing the truth about my family.
January 17, 2026 at 5:26 PM
The blurred part is my last name. If anyone more informed can tell me if my dad’s explanation of Trevor’s job was just code word for ICE, please do. Civilian military sounds like bullshit to me. I’m tired. Hurt and angry but proud of myself for facing the truth about my family.
Trevor is my cousin. The titties he grabbed were mine, when I was 15 and he was 14, on a camping trip just after my birthday that summer.
This went about as well as I thought it would. Well, no. Worse. My mom’s response was worse than anything I could have imagined, but she’s a master of that.
This went about as well as I thought it would. Well, no. Worse. My mom’s response was worse than anything I could have imagined, but she’s a master of that.
January 17, 2026 at 5:25 PM
Trevor is my cousin. The titties he grabbed were mine, when I was 15 and he was 14, on a camping trip just after my birthday that summer.
This went about as well as I thought it would. Well, no. Worse. My mom’s response was worse than anything I could have imagined, but she’s a master of that.
This went about as well as I thought it would. Well, no. Worse. My mom’s response was worse than anything I could have imagined, but she’s a master of that.
Oh and yeah, I don’t know how people focus either. I can barely keep track of my job and it used to be so mindless for me. It’s crazy
January 16, 2026 at 11:04 AM
Oh and yeah, I don’t know how people focus either. I can barely keep track of my job and it used to be so mindless for me. It’s crazy
I do what I can, but even educating fuckers is exhausting and maybe pointless now that the damage is done. It’s a wild world we live in
January 16, 2026 at 11:03 AM
I do what I can, but even educating fuckers is exhausting and maybe pointless now that the damage is done. It’s a wild world we live in
So not everything is so bleak for me, I hope the same for you. But it’s tough out here. I’m based in rural Missouri and I feel entirely helpless to do anything around me. But my MAGA coworker took the stickers off her car and started asking me about trans people in a thoughtful way.
January 16, 2026 at 11:03 AM
So not everything is so bleak for me, I hope the same for you. But it’s tough out here. I’m based in rural Missouri and I feel entirely helpless to do anything around me. But my MAGA coworker took the stickers off her car and started asking me about trans people in a thoughtful way.
I’m sorry you went through it too. It’s horrible having to consider cutting them off, but I’ve known for a long time it’s the most likely outcome given our past. I have the strength to consider it now because I’ve found a new family via my partner that sees and supports me also.
January 16, 2026 at 11:03 AM
I’m sorry you went through it too. It’s horrible having to consider cutting them off, but I’ve known for a long time it’s the most likely outcome given our past. I have the strength to consider it now because I’ve found a new family via my partner that sees and supports me also.
Thank you. It is nice to be seen. That response made me cry in a good way, which is a nice change of pace. 🫶 I wish you well and really appreciate you saying something
January 16, 2026 at 11:00 AM
Thank you. It is nice to be seen. That response made me cry in a good way, which is a nice change of pace. 🫶 I wish you well and really appreciate you saying something
Reposted by C3D@R
Im fine. Right? We all are. Right? We’re fine and we’re working and we’re spending money we definitely have and we’re definitely eating three meals a day and we’re definitely still enjoying our hobbies and we’re fine. Right?? No. So please do yourself a favor and if you have friends, check on them.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Im fine. Right? We all are. Right? We’re fine and we’re working and we’re spending money we definitely have and we’re definitely eating three meals a day and we’re definitely still enjoying our hobbies and we’re fine. Right?? No. So please do yourself a favor and if you have friends, check on them.
To those who may be concerned: I am okay. Verbal processing helps me feel sane and that’s what this is. I’m going through hell but I’m resilient, I shouldn’t have to be but I am, I always have been. I’m excited for this weekend where I’ll let myself have another much needed crash from exhaustion.
January 16, 2026 at 10:42 AM
To those who may be concerned: I am okay. Verbal processing helps me feel sane and that’s what this is. I’m going through hell but I’m resilient, I shouldn’t have to be but I am, I always have been. I’m excited for this weekend where I’ll let myself have another much needed crash from exhaustion.
But even if humanity can’t heal, don’t we want to go out arm in arm? Wouldn’t you rather die leaning on your good friend’s shoulder? I don’t think we’re gonna die in an instant, but wouldn’t we rather go through hell together rather than alone?
I’m fucking tired, but I’m alright. Thanks for reading
I’m fucking tired, but I’m alright. Thanks for reading
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
But even if humanity can’t heal, don’t we want to go out arm in arm? Wouldn’t you rather die leaning on your good friend’s shoulder? I don’t think we’re gonna die in an instant, but wouldn’t we rather go through hell together rather than alone?
I’m fucking tired, but I’m alright. Thanks for reading
I’m fucking tired, but I’m alright. Thanks for reading
Just because you don’t want to be a burden doesn’t mean you shouldn’t open up about how sad the news makes you currently. Just because “everyone is sad” doesn’t mean your friends won’t hold space for you to be sad around friendly faces. I think humanity could heal if we lean on each other.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Just because you don’t want to be a burden doesn’t mean you shouldn’t open up about how sad the news makes you currently. Just because “everyone is sad” doesn’t mean your friends won’t hold space for you to be sad around friendly faces. I think humanity could heal if we lean on each other.
You will be surprised how energizing it is to help someone else, and how we NEED to lean on each other in order to survive whatever hell we’re currently going through as a country, but also at an individual level. Imagine if your friends have family shit ON TOP of all of the other shit.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
You will be surprised how energizing it is to help someone else, and how we NEED to lean on each other in order to survive whatever hell we’re currently going through as a country, but also at an individual level. Imagine if your friends have family shit ON TOP of all of the other shit.
I fear a lot of people have become complacent in being loners because the demands of the world exhaust us. I beg you to video call with a friend for 20 minutes if that’s all the free time you guys can line up. I beg you to send “I love you” texts, but also “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
I fear a lot of people have become complacent in being loners because the demands of the world exhaust us. I beg you to video call with a friend for 20 minutes if that’s all the free time you guys can line up. I beg you to send “I love you” texts, but also “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
I lost a lot of people and I don’t want them back. No lie. Fuck you if you didn’t recognize how good of a friend I was until I was gone. But even if you’re one of those people, do me a favor and check on the ones you still have. I have someone to lean on, and if I didn’t I don’t know where I’d be.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
I lost a lot of people and I don’t want them back. No lie. Fuck you if you didn’t recognize how good of a friend I was until I was gone. But even if you’re one of those people, do me a favor and check on the ones you still have. I have someone to lean on, and if I didn’t I don’t know where I’d be.
Im fine. Right? We all are. Right? We’re fine and we’re working and we’re spending money we definitely have and we’re definitely eating three meals a day and we’re definitely still enjoying our hobbies and we’re fine. Right?? No. So please do yourself a favor and if you have friends, check on them.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Im fine. Right? We all are. Right? We’re fine and we’re working and we’re spending money we definitely have and we’re definitely eating three meals a day and we’re definitely still enjoying our hobbies and we’re fine. Right?? No. So please do yourself a favor and if you have friends, check on them.
I’m tired. 90 minutes of sleep sometime around 8pm and I meant to sleep again, but between my childhood memories flashing in my mind, my job falling apart at the seams, the constant construction on the highway, the state of our country, god I can’t even keep going. This thread would double in length
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
I’m tired. 90 minutes of sleep sometime around 8pm and I meant to sleep again, but between my childhood memories flashing in my mind, my job falling apart at the seams, the constant construction on the highway, the state of our country, god I can’t even keep going. This thread would double in length
Why is the world dead set on manipulating well intended people to be compliant in horrible things? Why am I as an autistic woman expected to push myself beyond my limits to go to work on top of my PTSD, while a n autistic woman in Minnesota gets detained and abused for going to the doctor?!!?!?!?!!?
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Why is the world dead set on manipulating well intended people to be compliant in horrible things? Why am I as an autistic woman expected to push myself beyond my limits to go to work on top of my PTSD, while a n autistic woman in Minnesota gets detained and abused for going to the doctor?!!?!?!?!!?
At least let it be because we have a knack for imploding ourselves with family drama and dumbass decisions. But why does it have to be my parents falling victim to political propaganda? Why did I have to lose my child best friend to evangelism?
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
At least let it be because we have a knack for imploding ourselves with family drama and dumbass decisions. But why does it have to be my parents falling victim to political propaganda? Why did I have to lose my child best friend to evangelism?
Yet, we’ve already had to cut off my own half-brother for non-political reasons, and I’ve fought so hard to get my parents on a better path. But there’s a fat chance they’re too far gone to reason with. Yet I hate that the administration is tearing my family apart more than it already was.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
Yet, we’ve already had to cut off my own half-brother for non-political reasons, and I’ve fought so hard to get my parents on a better path. But there’s a fat chance they’re too far gone to reason with. Yet I hate that the administration is tearing my family apart more than it already was.
I will have to ask my parents how they feel about what’s happening in Minneapolis. Tomorrow, I will send a text message, because sadly this has gone beyond the point of reconciliation. As much as I had a blast this most recent time I visited, I can’t just forgive the abuse AND complicate in this.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
I will have to ask my parents how they feel about what’s happening in Minneapolis. Tomorrow, I will send a text message, because sadly this has gone beyond the point of reconciliation. As much as I had a blast this most recent time I visited, I can’t just forgive the abuse AND complicate in this.
I can hear myself saying it, feel the words forming deep in my throat, feel the twist in my stomach, the hollow, endless pit forming in my chest, the burn of tears in my eyes and the way my cheeks get red and irritated when I’m scared, angry, stressed, exhausted, helpless, no longer in control.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
I can hear myself saying it, feel the words forming deep in my throat, feel the twist in my stomach, the hollow, endless pit forming in my chest, the burn of tears in my eyes and the way my cheeks get red and irritated when I’m scared, angry, stressed, exhausted, helpless, no longer in control.
For now it will not be me, but the thought of that situation alone horrifies me to my core, and the reality of it already occurring makes me want to vomit at 4am. I saw footage of a woman being dragged away, “I’m autistic! It takes me a minute to understand. I was just trying to go to the doctor.”
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
For now it will not be me, but the thought of that situation alone horrifies me to my core, and the reality of it already occurring makes me want to vomit at 4am. I saw footage of a woman being dragged away, “I’m autistic! It takes me a minute to understand. I was just trying to go to the doctor.”
If a man approached my vehicle and demanded answers to multiple questions at once, I would have to pause to comprehend what was happening to me. That pause would be perceived as non-compliance, and at best I’m on the ground in cuffs and beaten, or else I’ve got some holes in my head, apparently.
January 16, 2026 at 10:38 AM
If a man approached my vehicle and demanded answers to multiple questions at once, I would have to pause to comprehend what was happening to me. That pause would be perceived as non-compliance, and at best I’m on the ground in cuffs and beaten, or else I’ve got some holes in my head, apparently.