My agents have informed me that it is in fact *three* degrees; she's a friend's ex's ex-girlfriend.

"We're gonna need a bigger hoover."

Hiiiiiiiiiii~ 😋

These are all fantastic. I love the first one especially.

You do look so fucking cute there.

Hey favour us with your thoughts about the romantasy slop trend? It always vaguely repulses me but I've never quite been able to pin down why.

You and me both bud.

You do have an incredibly hot "dissociating victim" face going on in #2 tbqh.

Ah thanks! Yeah, I just didn't even have a clue what to search for. 😅

Mind if I ask where you got those elbow/knee protectors? I did a petplay scene with my gf a while back, and it would have been so handy to have something like those.

I look at it. It's an A4-sized envelope, and totally flat.
I open it. It's completely empty.

Amazon sent me an empty fucking envelope instead of my book.

The postman brings our post and says "and the one on the bottom is the one I couldn't deliver on Saturday; I didn't want to fold it to fit it through the letterbox."

Delivery arrives when I'm out on Saturday, and instead of leaving it in the conservatory or putting it through the letterbox they leave a "Sorry we missed you!" note, which puzzles me a bit, because it wasn't recorded delivery or anything. So fine, it'll come on Monday.

No other words, eh?
Almost as if they were stolen by some kind of... *word bender*? 🤔

(please imagine the following in "Californian Surfer Dude" voice)
Bro! Totally mascmaxxing as fuck today!

You saw the post about "Guy Who Pretended To Be The Driver" / "Girl Who Realised Her College Boyfriend Was Doing This" right?

www.tumblr.com/himbocorgi/7...

I was not excluded but probably should have been. I did opt for rounders instead of football when we had the choice though, which made me the only 'boy' playing it along all the girls.

(Shockingly my "innate biological advantage" did not manifest; I was a lousy player.)

*high fives you*