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Lou Inglese

@chaos440.bsky.social

780 followers 980 following 1.6K posts

LOSTie forever, Fire Starter, Westworld host, SciFi geek jonesing for his cortexiphan fix. Don't Panic! I WILL fix your computer, but I won't like it.

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Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · Oct 13

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Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 1d

The deepest circle of hell is reserved for people who put you on speakerphone in a crowded room and don't tell you.

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 1d

"I don't need to see your ID"
Listen, you're going to look at this ID, squint hard, then look at me and back at the ID or we're going to have a problem, OK?

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 1d

Sure God has the perfect plan but if you slip him a few prayers maybe he'll find an even more perfect plan, if you catch my drift.

Reposted by Lou Inglese

Jameel Jaffer @jameeljaffer.bsky.social · 1d

It's a pretty big deal that the NYC Bar Association--one of the most prominent and respected bar associations in the country--is accusing the President of ordering the "unlawful summary execution," i.e. murder--of civilians in violation of US and international law. www.nycbar.org/press-releas...

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 2d

After they've cut it...

The Trump cake is cut to reveal worms, insects and assorted vermin inside.

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 2d

I got a Restraining Order and now I have to stay at least 50ft away from myself at all times.

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

"You make me feel stupid"
Thanks, but I can't take credit for something you've obviously worked so hard at.

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Sun-kissed ass plug
Self-tanning enthusiast
An enraged, bewigged fetus blown up to nightmarish size
Parental pile of burnt organic material
Human-shaped wad of Gak
Walking irradiated tumor

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Cryogenically frozen bog man
A glistening, shouting gristle mass with a history of saying terrible and stupid things
Screaming giant cheese wedge
Republican frontrunner and 250-pound accumulation of rancid beef
Day-Glo roadside billboard about jock itch
Temperamental gelatinous sponge

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

First hobgoblin to enter the White House
A pair of chapped lips superglued to a hairball
Horsehair mattress stuffed with molding copies of Hustler
Malignant corn chip
Human Kinder Egg whose inner surprise is a tiny pebble of rat shit
A man with the hair of a radioactive skunk
Roiling Cheez Whiz mass

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Heaving carcass
Stately hot dog casing
Flatulent leather couch
Swollen earthworm gizzard
Narcissistic bowl of rotten gazpacho
Yellowing hunk of masticated gristle
A human/Komodo dragon hybrid
Blackening scab artfully hiding in your Raisin Bran

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Oversized wasp exoskeleton stuffed with old mustard
Neo-fascist real estate golem
Abandoned roadside ham hock
Bewildered, golden-helmeted astronaut who's just landed on this planet from a distant galaxy
Monument to human hubris crafted out of rotting Spam
A walking pile of reanimated roadkill

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

A baby sitting in a diaper full of his own shit
The angry orange
Fascist Kumquat
Seagull dipped in tikka masala
Bursting landfill of municipal solid waste
Mountain of rotting whale blubber
Sputum-filled Orange Julius
Gangrenous gaping wound
Racist, sexist block of aged Cheddar

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Tyrant idolizer and drug lord pal
Drunk court jester who's been roving the country doing racist Chris Farley impersonations
Short-fingered vulgarian
Failed mail-order meat salesman
Fossilized meatball
Clump of mashed-up candy corn
Sentient wig possessed by an ancient evil

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Chester Cheetah impersonator
Lumbering human-like tardigrade
A tiny piece of dried cat poop that you found in your rug
Three month old rotting jack o'lantern
Animated circus peanut saturated with fascism instead of corn syrup and gelatin
Tyrant idolizer and drug lord pal

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

A dishrag that on closer inspection is alive with maggots
Lead paint factory explosion
Candied yam riddled with moldy spider carcasses
Enraged Gak spill
The shriveled pinto bean you had to pluck out of your Chipotle burrito basket
Human-sized infectious microbe
Poorly-trained circus orangutan

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Dusty barrel of fermented peepee
Usually reasonable burlap sack full of rancid Peeps
Degloved zoo penis
Presidential candidate and bargain bin full of yellowing Jean-Claude Van Damme movies
Hairpiece come to life
Decomposing pumpkin pie inhabited by vicious albino squirrels

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

A brightly burning trash fire
Impoverished urchin
Aggressively stupid
Great judgment-haver
Man-sized sebaceous cyst
Enlarged pee-splattered Sno Cone
Empty popcorn bag rotting in the sun
Man-shaped asbestos insulation board
Hair plug swollen with rancid egg whites
Inside-out lower intestine

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

A rich idiot ... willing to allow garbage to fall out of his mouth without batting a single golden lash
Noted troll
The class clown that everyone wishes would be quiet and let the class learn
Melting businessman
Wax museum figure on a very hot day
Soggy burlap sack
Bag of toxic sludge

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Melting pig carcass
Disgraced racist
Talking comb-over
Human equivalent of cargo pants that zip away into shorts
Cheeto-dusted bloviator
Fuzzy meat wad
Bag of flour
Human turd
Not in any way sexist, you bimbos
A man who cherishes women
Decomposing ear of corn
His own best parody

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 3d

Found an old list of nicknames (for who I can't remember). They all seem too charitable now:
A rotting, sentient pan of sweet potato
Orange asshat
Four-time bankruptcy filer and seething hernia mass
Bone-in ham
Sun-dried tomato
Adult blobfish
Deflated football
Fart-infused lump of raw meat

Reposted by Lou Inglese

Tim Onion @bencollins.bsky.social · 3d

history teacher in 50 years: So in September, that’s when the president signed an executive order criminalizing anti-fascism and saying all resistance would be crushed

student: oh so that’s when the whole country realized they were living under fascism

teacher: haha what? oh no lol not at all. no.

Reposted by Lou Inglese

David Corn @davidcorn.bsky.social · 3d

Can Miller really believe this? If so, he is delusional. If not, then he’s a reprehensible demagogue.

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 4d

The great thing about social media is that you can remind yourself how terrible humanity is without leaving your house.

Lou Inglese @chaos440.bsky.social · 4d

I tried to find my inner peace, but I couldn't locate it through all the artillery fire.